Do they have sororities at 2 year colleges? I didn’t think 2 year junior/community colleges had sorority chapters. And I’m not sure if you can attend a 4 year college and get just a 2 year degree? But maybe you can… If so, then it would be up to the individual chapters if they want to pledge a PNM who will leave in 2 years instead of 4.
Or maybe you plan to earn an Associates Degree at a junior college and then transfer to a 4 year institution. In that case, yes you can rush as a Junior, and join greek life! If you only attend a community college, then I don’t believe you will have the opportunity to pledge ~ as far as I know. Sorry if I sound a little confused, but I am! xoxo ;)
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Me and my little ^_^ | Theta Nu Xi | National Multicultural Greek Council!
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First I would look for a chapter which is not the biggest party sorority on campus! If you keep your eyes and ears open and you have a good sixth sense, you should be able to tell the active partiers from the more reserved sisterhoods. During rush you want to make a match in lifestyle and overall personality.
After that, you will find that even the quietest chapters like to have fun now and then. Almost everyone enjoys a few drinks on the weekend, and you will need to adapt to this for the rest of your life. Somehow you need to join the fun and drink non-alcoholic beverages while others enjoy beer and wine. After college you will need to socialize with your co-workers and not make them feel uncomfortable, so it’s wise to learn this skill early on.
Just attend the greek socials and drink 7-up or Coke. Problem solved. If you are holding a red solo cup, no one cares what’s in it. As long as you don’t look down on other greeks for enjoying themselves you won’t have any issues. Avoid being judgmental and volunteer to be the designated driver! Your sisters will love you for that.
The only way you would run in to trouble is if you stand at a party empty handed with a sour expression on your face. That would look stupid. So put a cup in your hand, start dancing and have as much fun as any other sorority girl. Many members don’t drink, or they don’t over do the alcohol. It’s perfectly Ok to not partake ~ as long as you don’t make it a problem. xoxo ;)
"Learn the past, watch the present, and create the future." ~ Jesse Conrad
I'm contemplating transferring schools because if financial reasons, and the only thing keeping me at the school is theta phi but I think I would be better off transferring but I'm really hesitant because the other school doesn't have a chapter and I'm just really unsure and confused, any advice you be much loved 💜
I would not undervalue your supportive sisterhood. You can attend college in many different locations, but true and loyal friends are hard to find. And you only have a few years as an undergraduate to enjoy greek life. Starting all over with no sorority would be a big challenge. Here are some ideas to toss around before making your decision ~
- Working a part time job to help with tuition and expenses, or working a higher paying job during the summers to make up for your financial shortfall ~ which would allow you to stay where you are.
- Transfer to a different school that has Theta Phi and a lower tuition. There must be several campuses where you could combine your sisterhood, a social life, academics and price.
- If you do transfer to a university with no Theta Phi, then see if you can get involved in a nearby campus or a local alumnae chapter. Also join other clubs and organizations on your new campus so you can meet friends.
Personally, if I had a wonderful sorority at my current college, I would find a way to make up the money and stay put. I think genuinely nice sisters are harder to find than classes or a part time job! The grass is not always greener… But you should do what feels right for you. If you make friends easily and you can join some other groups, then making the transition to a no-sorority environment might work Ok for you! xoxo ;)
YES - YES! Sometimes it takes more than one attempt for a PNM to sort it all out. Think about what you could improve upon for next time. Maybe brush up on your conversations skills? Raise your GPA? Ask more questions or be more engaged? Whatever you think will improve your chances for a sorority bid next time. If you go through the process again, you want to learn from your past experience and put it to good use. You should be more relaxed and confident as a sophomore since you will know what to expect. Go for it! xoxo ;)
Q: I’m having lots of trouble lately in my sorority. I stay in my room all the time because no one asks me to hang out or invites me to go to dinner. Now I’m being sent to standards for being unsisterly. I don’t understand how they can’t see they’re just pushing me away instead of welcoming my company. I don’t feel like I’m unsisterly I just feel like I don’t have anyone on my side.
A: When you hit a rough patch in your sorority, retreating and hiding out only makes it worse. Even if you feel miserable inside, you need to socialize, attend meetings and hang out in at least a minimal way. Withdrawing to your room only accentuates the problem and now you are in bigger trouble. Running away and hiding your head in the sand is not a healthy solution to personal problems.
Take a moment to see things from your sister’s viewpoint. You have “rejected” them, you don’t participate and you seem angry or sullen all the time. When you’re not friendly, they stop asking you to socialize and so the terrible cycle continues! The more you act upset, the more your sisters avoid you. It’s a sad trap you’ve gotten yourself into. The visit to standards may be a blessing in disguise. You can talk to them about what has gone wrong. Somehow you have wandered off course and I hope they will help you get back on track. WIth time and effort, you can get past this stalemate!
These are some things I would suggest ~
- Start attending every all-chapter event, meeting and activity where sisters gather without needing a special invitation. First you show up at all the things which don’t involve personal partying or a private dinner. That puts you back in the “swing of things” without the pressure of being asked out. Focus in the bigger picture for awhile, instead of being personally offended.
- Target just one or two sisters to socialize with in a very simple way. Take a baby step towards uniting with your sisterhood again by asking just a few sisters to have lunch with you, or go for coffee together. Please don’t just sit and wait for an invite. Take the initiative with the nicest girls in your chapter. Show them how much you are interested in their lives!
- Have a heart to heart talk with your big/little, the sister you trust most, or an advisor to talk about what went wrong and how you can mend fences. Someone needs to break the cycle and if you seek help from a close friend it will help. Reach out for friendship counseling and let a sister/advisor help you bridge this gap.
- Put on a happy face and ACT as if you are Ok with your sorority. If you “fake it till you make it” the feelings will follow. Volunteer for the next fundraiser, join a new committee, help out around the sorority house. If you find a special project to sink your teeth into, it will draw you back into chapter life. Find something to embrace with extra enthusiasm. Put your passion into a greek venture and it will do you good on every level. The Panhellenic and Fraternities are also good options for taking on a new activity. Think project - not people for a while.
In general, you can’t rely on others to make you happy! You need to seek your own fun and friends ~ not wait for them to come to you. BE the type of girl that your sisters WANT to socialize with. Are you cheerful, outgoing and a blast to be around? If you are, then surely they will include you. If you don’t get enough invites, then you be the one to ask someone to dinner. Being passive and pouting only leads to more loneliness. Please chart your own course, let down your defenses and start moving towards bonding with your nicest sisters. You CAN turn this around! xoxo ;)
"You can make more friends in two months by becoming really interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you." ~ Dale Carnegie
"Overcoming fear and worry can be accomplished by living a day at a time or even a moment at a time. Your worries will be cut down to nothing." ~ Robert Anthony