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What are some good question you should ask during rush when the conversation is slowly coming to an end or when you are unsure of what to say?

Asked by

It’s a good idea to have 5 or more creative questions stored aside in your mind for when you need them. As a PNM, you should ask questions anyway. But have more than enough to pull from, in case you need to fill time. Sometimes you are paired with a quiet sister and you must carry the conversation or fill awkward gaps. The same goes for sisters struggling to speak with a difficult PNM.

The links below cover questions for PNM and sisters to use during recruitment. Take a look and pick some favorites!

• Top PNM Questions to Ask During Recruitment 

• PNM Recruitment Questions to Ask By Category

• 20 “Safe” PNM Questions to Ask During Recruitment

• 33 Questions to ASK PNMs

• 25 Interesting Questions to Ask PNMs During Rush

• Big/Little Speed Dating Questions (good for PNMs & sisterhood socials too!)

I was really on the fence about rushing last year, but after doing tons of research (mainly with your blog), I've decided to rush as a sophomore. I'm really excited and nervous at the same time and I can't wait to experience formal recruitment. I've noticed that you advise girls to speak clearly enough to be heard. My issue is that I naturally have a soft voice and speaking loudly usually sounds like I'm yelling. Any tips? Thank you :)

Asked by

You may find yourself actually yelling when you are in a room with 80 other girls during recruitment! Often, rush conversations are like trying to talk to a friend at a really loud party. So you’re going to have to rise to the occasion. Please practice speaking from your diaphragm, instead of just your throat. With some exercises you can make improvements. Practice projecting and using your full voice, just like a singer practices before a performance. Turn on the TV, or a talk radio show, and chat with a family member in the noisy room. Sing, recite poetry and give a speech loudly in front of a mirror. Get comfortable with “vocalizing.”

Speaking very quietly can be mistaken for shyness. You don’t want sorority sisters to think your personality is something it’s not. You may appear less self confident and insecure. Which may not be true at all! Match the strength of your vocals to your inner personal strength. As a PNM you want to project self assurance, poise and polish. You may never be a “loud mouth” ~ but you can speak up enough to make a great impression. xoxo :)

Is it better to wear a small casual everyday necklace or a statement necklace during rush?

Asked by

It really depends on your personal style. As the week goes on and events get dressier, your jewelry should get dressier too. If you wear a fun “bubble” necklace in the middle of the week, you may want to switch to something more elegant and understated for Preference Night.

Be careful to not “over-do” your style with a busy patterned dress AND a bold necklace. A statement piece usually looks better with solid colored fashions or simple stripes. It’s all about balance. As long as your fashions and jewelry coordinate ~ you should be fine with bold and/or simpler accessories. Wear what you feel most comfortable in. xoxo ;)

I'm working on growing my nails out, I was heavy into biting them and to do that I have been painting them. I was wondering, during recruitment, what are some good colors of nail polish to use, and what are ones we should stay away from? I'm not really into the fake french manicure nails though.

Asked by

For recruitment I recommend a pale pink, blush, beige, light coral, or clear polish. You don’t want anything to take the focus off YOU and be a distraction during your rush conversations. Classy neutral shades also blend with your fashions each day (no clashing colors), hide small unexpected chips more easily and make you look well groomed, not flashy. 

Please avoid: black or other super dark polish, glitter polish, nail art, decals, designs, extra long dagger nails, and non-manicured hands. Nails can be short with a fresh manicure and clear polish. Simple and clean is perfectly Ok. French manicures are also fine, even though you personally don’t prefer them. Maintain your polish each evening with a coat of clear polish. This will guard against chips the next day.

During rush, the spotlight should be on your personality and charm ~ not your wild nail polish or your raggedy cuticles! xoxo ;)


Hey so during rush if a sorority girl asks if I like to party what should I say? Because I don't want them to think I'm joining for the parties but If I say no I feel that they'd think I'm boring and not want to give me a bid

Asked by

Sorority girls should NOT ask you about partying. It’s an “off limits” topic for panhellenic recruitment. Every sister should be instructed to not discuss drinking, drugs, or fraternity partying in any way. Usually it’s PNMs who accidentally bring up inappropriate subjects and sisters must steer the conversation in a new direction. 

If you find yourself in this type of conversation, just be noncommittal and totally neutral in your response. Do NOT get into examples of your partying, or bragging about your wild escapades. You can say something completely bland like "I love life and I always have a good time wherever I go!" Take a cheery sunshine approach with an emphases on how naturally fun loving you are in any situation. But say nothing specific about drinking or taking drugs. Immediately turn the conversation to the sorority philanthropy, or another “safe” subject. 

It’s Ok to be a cheerful PNM, while avoiding dangerous conversation territory. Your personality should be upbeat and charismatic without mind-altering substances. That’s not boring or dull. Present a likable image and stay away from party talk. xoxo ;)

❉ master list of 101 things to AVOID during recruitment! ❉

Simple things for PNMs and sorority sisters NOT to do for maximum success during rush week!

top 101 sorority recruitment DON’TS: 

  1. Chew gum
  2. Wear heavy perfume
  3. Wear clanging bracelets
  4. Gossip about other sororities
  5. Make promises you can’t keep
  6. Have chipped nail polish
  7. Mumble
  8. Wear too much flashy jewelry
  9. Dress overly sexy
  10. Wear shoes that hurt
  11. Speak badly about other PNMs
  12. Show your nerves
  13. Look totally different than your PNM photo
  14. Only talk about yourself
  15. Have zero questions to ask
  16. Dart your eyes around the room during a conversation
  17. Wear really heavy make-up
  18. Let your emotions cloud your judgement
  19. Forget your pedicure
  20. Be something you’re not
  21. Have body odor
  22. Have bad breath
  23. Talk or text on your cell phone during rounds
  24. Miss deadlines
  25. Talk about “off limits” topics
  26. Communicate with PNMs/sisters outside of recruitment rounds
  27. Be late for rounds
  28. Pressure a PNM to join a certain chapter
  29. Drop the F-bomb 
  30. Drink or take drugs before rounds
  31. Make racist comments
  32. Complain and bitch
  33. Be overly dramatic and emotional
  34. Wear unflattering fashions - no bulges please
  35. Forget your manners
  36. Act uninterested or aloof
  37. Write a chapter off too soon
  38. Have a closed mind
  39. Act arrogant
  40. Brag about your family wealth
  41. Tell sisters you plan on transferring soon
  42. Name drop your important connections
  43. Allow dirty bar straps to show
  44. Admit you’re rushing only because your mother made you
  45. Exaggerate your GPA
  46. Be negative about the recruitment process
  47. Make strong political statements
  48. Cause a scene after chapter cuts
  49. Forget names and faces
  50. Wear the wrong undergarments for your dress style
  51. Have smelly foot odor
  52. Be self-conscious about your weight
  53. Have sweaty armpits with stains showing
  54. Announce your #1 chapter pick to other sororities
  55. Drop out of recruitment before the week ends
  56. Talk endlessly about your perfect boyfriend
  57. Brag about how much you party
  58. Admit to Facebook and Instagram stalking of the PNM or chapter 
  59. Be overly judgmental 
  60. Forget your feminine products
  61. Get into deep discussions about politics or religion
  62. Stress about what the system of conversation rotations at each house
  63. Break the rules
  64. Wear super short skirts, plunging necklines, skin tight fashions, or totally backless dresses
  65. Forget your own list of activities and interests
  66. Ask yes/no questions
  67. Hold grudges
  68. Mope at other houses after a painful cut
  69. Share all of your personal problems and family drama
  70. Forget to ask about what the sisters like to do together
  71. Fall for a PNM or sister just because she’s pretty
  72. Get tooooo serious - rush can be fun
  73. Tell a sister or a PNM she wasn’t your 1st choice
  74. Feel guilty making judgements about PNMs or sisterhoods
  75. Take things too personally
  76. Have a bad hair day - wear a sleek ponytail if needed
  77. Believe you are “guaranteed a bid” from your legacy chapter
  78. Mention your illegal activites like shoplifting
  79. Assume anything
  80. Forget your lipstick
  81. Wear the wrong outfit for the dressiness required each round
  82. Start picking your big/little during rush
  83. Be crushed when your favorite PNM goes a different way
  84. Let your roots show
  85. Wear torn jeans, tattered cut-offs, sneakers with holes, or rubber flip flops
  86. Blow off requesting recommendation letters if you need them
  87. Display nude, sexy, drinking, or drug photos on your social media
  88. Accidentally leave your rush emergency kit in your room
  89. Give up
  90. Wear a watch - you may be tempted to look at it
  91. Get an orangey fake tan 
  92. Overdose on sparkles and sequins
  93. Ask to go to the bathroom at a sorority house
  94. Overuse the kindness of your Rho Gamma/Gamma Chi
  95. Sabotage other chapters or pull pranks during rush
  96. Fall for how every sorority girl is your BFF during rounds - look for the most genuine
  97. Be mean
  98. Cry hysterically on Pref Night
  99. Wear anything you have to adjust every two minutes 
  100. Forget to shave your legs & underarms, tame your eyebrows and pluck stray hairs on your upper lip
  101. Be anything other than friendly, outgoing, enthusiastic, loving, charming, inquisitive, kind, bubbly and positive! 

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What should I use for a headshot? I'm a junior in college and my most recent professional photo is my high school senior picture. Thanks!

Asked by

Since you are a junior, you probably want a new photo. The goal is to have your recruitment photo look like you do now. A friend with a good camera can take a pretty picture of you standing outside and it will look wonderful. You don’t need a professional portrait sitting. But a good quality image is a must. 

I have been posting quite a few examples lately. Please go to my blog homepage and enter the word "headshot" in the Search Key Words bar at the top of the right sidebar. That will bring up LOTS of natural looking PNM photos for inspiration. 

Also, if you have been to a wedding, graduation, or a dressy party recently, you could use a solo image from one of those events instead. Just make sure you are the only person in the photo. Either an existing picture or a new one should be bright, clear and a superior representation of your beauty!  xoxo ;)


hello! i am going to be a freshman this fall, and I've signed up for recruitment! a new chapter of AXO will be on campus for fall rush, and i was wondering if there are any disadvantages to rushing a new chapter on campus compared to a sorority that has been around for a while? thanks!

Asked by

I am always promoting the benefits of rushing a new colony, because it offers so many opportunities for leadership, making history and starting something brand new. There are lots of pluses! But there are some disadvantages as well. These are a few ~

  • With no established reputation on campus, it will take some time to build up a solid rep and establish meaningful traditions.
  • Fundraising and other events will take awhile to get off the ground. 
  • There is a learning curve for the membership. The sisterhood will surely go through a bit of “trial and error.”
  • Recruitment can be more challenging without an established reputation. 
  • Competition will be fierce from other well known chapters. 
  • Comparisons will be made with other sororities until the new chapter has a sorority house and all the frills. 
  • The big/little family system takes time to get off the ground.
  • In the first few years there are bound to be some leadership challenges as everyone finds their way.
  • There may not be a large amount of alumnae support in the local area, since the sorority has not existed there before. 
  • Networking with PNMs, advertising, marketing and everything else will need to get off the ground and continue building each year. 

BUT I don’t think any of those realistic challenges should keep an interested PNM from considering a new chapter! The benefits outweigh most of them. Colonies are also excellent chances for older PNMs and transfer students to join greek life. Some other benefits are ~

  • A fresh start with no chapter baggage, no deep secrets, no ugly past, or long standing sisterhood struggles. 
  • Strong national and panhellenic support for a new chapter. 
  • Immediate leadership openings. 
  • Less politics and no stuck-in-a-rut traditions.
  • More open mindedness and more chances for hands-on earning. 
  • Sense of achievement every year as the chapter grows. 
  • Being a part of greek history! 

Like everything in greek life, there are pros and cons. But both old and new chapters offer a wonderful experience for PNMs. It’s all about finding your place and making the most of it! xoxo :)

I was in AOII for a year and a half, but due to certain circumstances, I had to completely suspend from the sorority. But there is a new one coming to campus that I like. So Is there anyway that I can join a new sorority even though I was in one?

Asked by

Since were an initiated sister of AOII, you cannot join another NPC chapter. Once you know the secret rituals of one chapter, you cannot switch to another. But if the new sorority is NOT in the NPC then you are free to join. For example, If it’s a service sorority, or a Christian chapter, you can rush without any trouble. 

If the new sorority IS a NPC chapter, and other greeks on campus know you were an AOII, then you can’t rush again as a former active. But, maybe you should investigate other alternative greek organizations anyway. There may be some already established groups that you could participate in, such as a pre-professional chapter, or a special interest sorority.

I know it is painful to leave greek life. It’s no fun to be away from the greek community and I totally feel for you. Even when leaving is completely unavoidable, it still hurts. I am hopeful you are eligible for this new chapter’s recruitment ~ or you can look into other organizations to join while at college. If not, you can get involved in community groups which are similar after you graduate. Something like the Junior League will give you some of the same experiences ~ such as community service, fundraising, meetings and female friendships. Keep that in mind for the future. xoxo :)

sorority Q&A: enhancing a small chapter recruitment…

Q: Rush is coming and that’s very exciting! However my chapter is very small. Like ten people small. We are under the panhellenic council but we’re not allowed to do formal recruitment since we are not with panhellenic nationally. Therefore, we have rush after panhellenic. And we’re lucky enough to get five girls to show up at our recruitment. What can we do as a group and as individuals to reel in a good number of quality women and have a successful informal recruitment week? 

A: My number one advice for small chapters, is to “copy” what the larger chapters are doing and try to be as competitive as possible. if you can ~ decorate for rush, paint lawn letters, host tables on campus and do as many regular greek things as you can afford. By seeming like a “legit” chapter, you will attract more high quality PNMs. You must at least play in the NPC league in order to be taken seriously. 

You should also offer PNMs a viable alternative to the mainstream sororities. Emphasize your strongest selling points ~ like being more down to earth, less expensive, friendlier and less competitive. You must have something different to sell than the national chapters do. There are different strokes for different folks. Find your niche and publicize it. Observe what the other sororities are doing and offer the opposite. You need something to “promote” and a hook to get more PNMs interested. You are the alternative sorority, so spotlighting your different take on greek life is probably the way to go! 

Gather your sisters together and ask yourselves these questions:

  • What are our 5 finest points?
  • What do we have to offer that other chapters don’t?
  • Why would a PNM join our sorority?
  • Why did I join?
  • What are our 5 weakest points?
  • How can we improve on our weakest points?
  • What does PNM feedback tell us we need to offer?
  • What can we change to make things better?
  • How can we network more effectively with PNMs on campus?
  • Who IS our ideal sister? Describe her.
  • Where can we find our type of PNMs?
  • What are our goals for recruitment?
  • What has worked in the past and what hasn’t?
  • Are we doing all we can to maximize our publicity, outreach and recruitment?
  • What do we need to be more successful and grow? How do we get there? 

Analyze the answers, create a new publicity plan, target your ideal PNMs and get working on the best recruitment you can pull together. Make changes, improve what needs improving and go forward with a positive attitude. Small steps lead to great things…

Here are some helpful posts that you can read for more ideas:

♥ A+ Recruiting: Do’s & Dont’s for Chapters!

♥ How to Get Rid of Your Negative Chapter Reputation! {even though you don’t have a bad rep, you can use some of these tips for improving things in general}

♥ Top 7 Ways to Recruit on a Tight Budget!

Top 20 Ways to Promote Going Greek! {your small chapter can use some of these panhellenic ideas}

♥ Top 10 Sorority Public Relations Tips!


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If I don't have letters of rec for every sorority but still have headshots and resumes and stuff, should I mail it? or would it be a waste? when signing up for recruitment, my school had their own resume but I don't think it highlighted what I have been involved in throughout high school. Should I send it anyway or not?

Asked by

Let’s break this down into parts, to clarify all the details ~

  • The recommendation letters travel from the sorority woman writing it directly to her greek organization on your campus, either by mail or by electronic submission. So you don’t have to worry about those mailings. 
  • Your PNM resume is usually for the rec letter writers information, so they can see all of your accomplishments in an organized way. Sometimes a Panhellenic will also request a resume, but usually you will fill out the PNM application and that serves as your “resume” of activites and history. From what you said, you have already filled out the rush registration. If you feel it’s not enough, then submit your expanded resume electronically, or by mail, if you have an address. Sending it electronically to the same place where you applied for recruitment is probably best. 
  • Your headshot should accompany your PNM application/registration no matter what! Again, this is usually an attachment with your PNM registration. Please submit it ASAP to the place you originally registered. The photo is a MUST. Sororities use the PNM photos for reference and voting purposes. So it is very important. 

I’m sorry that your recruitment registration was not comprehensive enough. The form should have had spaces for your family greek history, grades, high school activities and more. Hopefully the Panhellenic can add your additional facts and the chapters will see it ~ along with your beautiful photo! xoxo ;) 

How long do you recommend waiting for an alumnae to email you back before pursuing another person for your rec letter?

Asked by

I think 5-7 days is plenty of time to respond. It’s also Ok to send 1 reminder email before you give up completely. People get busy and 1 polite reminder is perfectly acceptable. The person usually replies with, “thank you so much for reminding me.” 

You can word your gentle reminder email something like this ~ 

"Hello Mrs. Jones,

I contacted you last week about the possibility of securing a XYZ recommendation letter from you for my upcoming sorority recruitment at ABC University. I hope you can help me with this important part of recruitment. The deadline for rec letters is fast approaching, so I wanted to touch base with you one more time. Thank you again for your consideration and I look forward to hearing from you soon.”

Re-attach your PNM resume and headshot to the 2nd email. That way the letter writer doesn’t have to search back through old emails to find it. Make sure you have provided the sorority house mailing address and contact name, so the writer has everything she needs. Make it easy to complete the task with the least amount of hassle. 

If you still do not hear back from this alum, confirming that she can help, then move on promptly. With every contact you make, provide all your information, attachments and follow-up information. Hopefully most of your leads will be willing to assist you. xoxo ;)

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SS: How did you come to start ENSYD and why did you choose to sell greek merchandise?

ENSYD: I was a just your average college kid scraping by and was SO bored of my campus office job. I needed to get creative about how to pay next months rent. I always loved apparel and design, so one game day I posted up outside the stadium and sold shirts I designed and printed. One thing let to another, and I started making shirts for campus clubs and the Greek community. Magically, Ensyd was born. Clients shifted mostly towards Greeks since they really appreciate our progressive design, styles, garment treatments, and service.

SS: What makes your apparel stand out in the crowded sorority marketplace?

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SS: Do you have any exciting new plans or new products on the horizon?

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