☀ ATTN: SORORITY CRAFTERS ~ SEE your greek craft in the New York Times!!☀
The New York Times is doing a piece on Sorority Crafting! Boats & Bows is working with them on the content, and they are having an OPEN CALL for submissions. Their favorites will be posted on the NYT website and a select group will be in a fairly large piece in the Nov 2nd issue!!!
I'm looking into joining a sorority at my school, but the one that I really see myself in has been kicked off campus. Is it still worth it to rush? Or should I keep looking in to the orgs that are still on campus?
If you could only see yourself in the chapter that was kicked off campus, I wonder what you’re looking for!? I would not wait on one troubled chapter to return. Instead, it would be a great idea to participate in recruitment and find a sorority that’s securely in good standing. You don’t really know how you will ‘click’ with the sisters until you rush. So please don’t discount any of the remaining organizations.
I’m sure there are other fun-loving sisterhoods that you can enjoy just as much as the one with standards problems. It would not pay to wait on them to be reinstated ~ while you become an older PNM. Now is your best chance at going greek. Don’t let a prime opportunity pass you by! xoxo :)
What a lot of PNMs don’t seem to realize is that recruitment (along with being fun) is really, really stressful! It’s not easy meeting, remembering, and having good conversations with every single girl. Sometimes there are too many to count!
If you’ve received interest from multiple sororities, there is a good chance that you’ll fit in just fine with one of them! It’s hard to be “perfect” and every sorority woman is just trying her best to do what she thinks will entice and recruit potential members.
By the end of recruitment, especially by the end of recruitment, we’re extremely tire and worn out from planning, rehearsing, prepping, and trying to make everything go perfectly. So if we don’t seem like the best fit for you, it might just be because we tried to do everything 100% ~ but it didn’t go as planned. You never know what will happen during recruitment and afterwards.
So, as a PNM, you really have to weigh your options and try to look at it from the sorority side as well. Maybe an event wasn’t fabulous, but did we have fun? Did we seem engaged? Did we make an effort to move forward and give it our best shot? Even if we’re not your top choice, those are the qualities that may help you decide if we’ll be a good fit :)
Q:I dropped formal recruitment last spring because I felt like the only houses left weren’t good fits for me. I just went through fall recruitment and had an amazing time at one of the houses, however I wasn’t offered a bid. I don’t know if I should go through spring recruitment again because it feels as if the only one who wants me to join a sorority is myself!
A: Not so! There WERE several sororities who want you as a sister last spring, but you don’t want them in return! I honestly believe you are being a little bit picky. Every PNM likes certain chapters during recruitment, but many sororities are amazing when they’re putting on their rush “show.” That doesn’t mean they’re a good match for you. The less flashy chapters can be super nice too ~ but you have to give them a chance. I’m not sure what you’re looking for that you couldn’t find in the sororities who were still inviting you back last semester?
In ANY & ALL chapters you can find the following:
Friends who become Sisters
Fun social events with fraternities
Fun social events with sisters
Interaction with other sororities in the Panhel
Activities with the entire greek community
Fundraising for good causes
Volunteering to help the less fortunate
Eating meals, living and laughing with great girls
Creating crafts, decor, themes, and other fun artistic projects
Recruiting new members
Learning, education, conventions, awards, etc…
Public relations and marketing experience
Very meaningful rituals and ceremonies
In other words, every chapter does basically the same things. You can have the total greek life package in any of the sororities you are rushing. You can grow closer to your sisters, bond with members in other chapters via the Panhel Council and use your membership as a stepping stone to more involvement on campus. At some point, it’s in your best interest to join A chapter, if not your dream sorority. There is a big greek world waiting for you if you are a little more flexible.
If I were you, I would prioritize and say “going greek” is more important than 2 years of repeated rushing to get the best/ideal sorority on campus. The sororities make the ultimate decisions, and they see you differently than you see yourself. The rush system works amazingly well. But compatibility is not always evident until a few months after bid day. You have to give a “nice” chapter a chance.
Perfection is impossible. Your continued search for it is stopping you from getting on with your sorority days. I hope you will rush one more time next spring and open your heart to a sisterhood where love can build. Blossom and grow with the sisters who invite you to be a part of their lives. xoxo ;)
"Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly." ~ Robert Schuller
"Too many people miss the silver lining because they’re expecting gold." ~ Maurice Setter
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Hi SororitySugar, I'm in a bit of hard decision.I had plans on dropping from my sorority due to me joining the military in a few months, not getting the experienced that I had hoped for, and the cost of dues. My chapter had bid day today and seeing all the new girls that joined has my rethinking my decision of dropping. Just thinking about not meeting those girls makes me a bit upset about my decision and I don't know which to do. Any advice?
Totally dropping your sorority is a HUGE decision and one you cannot come back from in most chapters. It is the most drastic step you can take. Sorority membership is a roller coaster ride of ups and downs, and just when you think you’ve had enough, you see all the happy faces of your sweet new members and it changes your heart!
If there is any way you can manage the dues for a few more collegiate years, you will be an alum member for life. When you join the military, if it takes you off campus, maybe your dues can be adjusted. I don’t know your military schedule, but you should ask your chapter leadership about it.
Each year in your chapter brings new opportunities and new adventures. If you can find a way to get more “out” of your chapter, you will be happier and more fulfilled. Membership doesn’t have to be the-most-amazing-experience-ever to be worthwhile, enjoyable and satisfying.
Make a list of 3 things you can do to elevate your experience this semester. If you are military minded you should relate to setting an objective and implementing the steps needed to reach your goals. Your mission is to target 3 areas that would make your membership more valuable. That might be taking a Little, joining a committee and attending more sisterhood socials for example. Then outline what you must do to reach those goals. See if making a dedicated effort will change your mind about totally disaffiliating.
Also make a list of ALL the things you would miss if you departed. Your big, hanging out together, greek week, recruitment, spring formal, etc.. Include all the things big and small that you like about being in your sorority and the greek community. All that goes away if you drop out. Sometimes the smallest things are worth hanging onto. The pride in being greek, the commitment you made and the sisterhood you dedicated yourself to at initiation. Those principles mean more than the day-to-day routine of being a sister. Re-think, re-group and revive your sorority spirit! xoxo ;)
"For every disciplined effort there is a multiple reward." ~ Jim Rohn
"You’ve got to get up every morning with determination if you’re going to go to bed with satisfaction." ~ George Horace Lorimer
I'm rushing right now, and today we just had our Philanthropy round. I was only invited back to three sororities out of a possible seven, and it was a little discouraging. Since this was only the second round, is there a chance that I could get dropped by every sorority that's left? I'm getting nervous that I won't make it to bid day just because I was dropped by most of them so soon. (Even though I loved the three that I wasn't dropped by!)
STAY CALM! Some PNMs go through the entire week with only 1 sorority. How quickly or slowly you narrow down to your final choices has no bearing on your bid day outcome. In the very end, each PNM needs only 1 chapter to pledge. No more no less. Going from three from seven is a pretty standard “cut” at this point in your recruitment.
Most PNMs are impressed by many chapters and they’re sad when the houses they really admire go away. But cuts happen and the best thing to do now is to put the eliminated chapters out of your mind completely. They are gone, gone, gone. Wipe the deck clean and just focus on your remaining sororities 100%. Those are now the only possibilities and they need your total attention and sparkle. Look for the brightest qualities in each one and turn on your PNM charm. Don’t let any disappointment show in your personality. The competition isn’t over yet. So keep on your A-game through Pref Night.
It’s unlikely that you will be dropped by every sorority. This is just what happens during rush week. Keep smiling and stay enthusiastic about going greek. Bid day is almost here. Happy times are just around the corner! xoxo ;)
I wasn't a very good big to my new little last semester because I was swamped with schoolwork and never had time for anything social. I'm also just not a very openly lovey-dovey person. Now I'm abroad until spring and I'm seeing girls post pictures with her with the caption "adopted little". I feel so bad for leaving her, and especially bad for not seeing her very much when I was there. How do I work to strengthen our bond as big and little even when I'm in another country?
Well there is only so much you can do from another country! If you didn’t have time for your Little when you were on the same campus, I doubt she’s going to respond when you suddenly communicate from across the globe. It’s convenient and hassle-free for you to be interested when you’re too far away to do anything about it. And it seems your attention was only perked when her saw adopted family photos online! Hmmmm.
I think you are just feeling remorse because your Little has moved on. BUT I always believe there is room for redemption. If you are sincerely sorry and want to patch things up, it will take a lot of time and effort on your part. You can mature and change your approach, but there are no guarantees your Little will come back around. We’ll see how forgiving she is…
From abroad you can actively “like” her photos on social media, send her an occasional text, ship her a small foreign gift, etc.. I would keep it light and casual. She may think it’s very odd that you suddenly appear, right when she has new family to love. But if you’re consistent and genuine, it’s hard to say no to friendly comments and attention. You have a long road ahead if you want to earn your way back into her life.
Of course things will get easier once you return to campus. In person it’s easier to mend fences. You can invite her for dinner and see if there is any common ground left between you. You were never close, so anything you do is like establishing a brand new relationship. No mater how this big/little partnership turns out ~ I am hopeful you have learned some valuable lessons for the future!
If you neglect a relationship, it won’t last.
If you don’t make TIME for people, they will move on.
If you don’t display your love in some way, others won’t know you care.
If you ignore a friend for too long, it may be too late to reverse direction.
You FIND time for the things you care about and make them a priority.
Friends/sisters are important too, not just academics.
You get when you give. Give nothing and that’s exactly what comes back at you.
I wish you all the best in becoming a better big and a better sister. xoxo ;)
"It takes a lot of time, understanding, and trust to gain a close friendship with someone. My friends are my most precious asset." ~ Erynn Miller
"Value the friends you have while they’re around, you never know when they’ll be gone." ~ Darin Gosling
Hi! I started college at a small private university that didn't have Greek life. I took a year off after I wasn't sure which direction I was going in life and have now decided to maybe go to a larger school for human nutrition and dietetics. This will probably take a year and a half to two years for me to complete, depending on transfer credits, so I'll be around for a while. I've always wanted to go Greek but I'm wondering if I'm too old to rush at 24?
NO you are not too old to rush! PNMs come in all ages. As long as you are young at heart, have energy and you “fit in” with the majority of younger pledges, membership can work it out. If there is a new colony coming to your college, that would be even better. They love older PNMs who are mature and can step right into leadership. Colonies are much more accepting of upperclassmen and they need a range of ages to start the chapter off right. Maybe you will have the opportunity to join one…
But even if you rush just the established chapters, you still have a good chance at finding a sisterhood. Emphasize all the talents you can bring to the sorority, your enthusiasm for going greek and how excited you are to be following your dreams. You have an interesting story, as long as you keep it positive. I think the chapters will love to hear about how you discovered your passion and all the things you have planned for your future. xoxo ;)