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I'm looking into joining a sorority at my school, but the one that I really see myself in has been kicked off campus. Is it still worth it to rush? Or should I keep looking in to the orgs that are still on campus?

Asked by
sorestyourhandinmine

If you could only see yourself in the chapter that was kicked off campus, I wonder what you’re looking for!? I would not wait on one troubled chapter to return. Instead, it would be a great idea to participate in recruitment and find a sorority that’s securely in good standing. You don’t really know how you will ‘click’ with the sisters until you rush. So please don’t discount any of the remaining organizations.

I’m sure there are other fun-loving sisterhoods that you can enjoy just as much as the one with standards problems. It would not pay to wait on them to be reinstated ~ while you become an older PNM. Now is your best chance at going greek. Don’t let a prime opportunity pass you by! xoxo :)

rush talk: finding the ideal sorority from the chapter perspective…

Follower follow up ~

What a lot of PNMs don’t seem to realize is that recruitment (along with being fun) is really, really stressful! It’s not easy meeting, remembering, and having good conversations with every single girl. Sometimes there are too many to count!

If you’ve received interest from multiple sororities, there is a good chance that you’ll fit in just fine with one of them! It’s hard to be “perfect” and every sorority woman is just trying her best to do what she thinks will entice and recruit potential members.

By the end of recruitment, especially by the end of recruitment, we’re extremely tire and worn out from planning, rehearsing, prepping, and trying to make everything go perfectly. So if we don’t seem like the best fit for you, it might just be because we tried to do everything 100% ~ but it didn’t go as planned. You never know what will happen during recruitment and afterwards.  

So, as a PNM, you really have to weigh your options and try to look at it from the sorority side as well. Maybe an event wasn’t fabulous, but did we have fun? Did we seem engaged? Did we make an effort to move forward and give it our best shot? Even if we’re not your top choice, those are the qualities that may help you decide if we’ll be a good fit :)

submitted by: sammmhope

rush talk: seeking the perfect chapter…

Q: I dropped formal recruitment last spring because I felt like the only houses left weren’t good fits for me. I just went through fall recruitment and had an amazing time at one of the houses, however I wasn’t offered a bid. I don’t know if I should go through spring recruitment again because it feels as if the only one who wants me to join a sorority is myself!

A: Not so! There WERE several sororities who want you as a sister last spring, but you don’t want them in return! I honestly believe you are being a little bit picky. Every PNM likes certain chapters during recruitment, but many sororities are amazing when they’re putting on their rush “show.” That doesn’t mean they’re a good match for you. The less flashy chapters can be super nice too ~ but you have to give them a chance. I’m not sure what you’re looking for that you couldn’t find in the sororities who were still inviting you back last semester?

In ANY & ALL chapters you can find the following: 

  • Friends who become Sisters
  • Fun social events with fraternities
  • Fun social events with sisters
  • Interaction with other sororities in the Panhel
  • Activities with the entire greek community
  • Fundraising for good causes
  • Volunteering to help the less fortunate
  • Eating meals, living and laughing with great girls
  • Creating crafts, decor, themes, and other fun artistic projects
  • Recruiting new members 
  • Leadership opportunities
  • Learning, education, conventions, awards, etc…
  • Academic support 
  • Public relations and marketing experience 
  • Very meaningful rituals and ceremonies 
  • ETC… ETC…

In other words, every chapter does basically the same things. You can have the total greek life package in any of the sororities you are rushing. You can grow closer to your sisters, bond with members in other chapters via the Panhel Council and use your membership as a stepping stone to more involvement on campus. At some point, it’s in your best interest to join A chapter, if not your dream sorority. There is a big greek world waiting for you if you are a little more flexible. 

If I were you, I would prioritize and say “going greek” is more important than 2 years of repeated rushing to get the best/ideal sorority on campus. The sororities make the ultimate decisions, and they see you differently than you see yourself. The rush system works amazingly well. But compatibility is not always evident until a few months after bid day. You have to give a “nice” chapter a chance.

Perfection is impossible. Your continued search for it is stopping you from getting on with your sorority days. I hope you will rush one more time next spring and open your heart to a sisterhood where love can build. Blossom and grow with the sisters who invite you to be a part of their lives. xoxo ;)

"Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly." ~ Robert Schuller

"Too many people miss the silver lining because they’re expecting gold." ~ Maurice Setter

I'm rushing right now, and today we just had our Philanthropy round. I was only invited back to three sororities out of a possible seven, and it was a little discouraging. Since this was only the second round, is there a chance that I could get dropped by every sorority that's left? I'm getting nervous that I won't make it to bid day just because I was dropped by most of them so soon. (Even though I loved the three that I wasn't dropped by!)

Asked by
tay-steve

STAY CALM! Some PNMs go through the entire week with only 1 sorority. How quickly or slowly you narrow down to your final choices has no bearing on your bid day outcome. In the very end, each PNM needs only 1 chapter to pledge. No more no less. Going from three from seven is a pretty standard “cut” at this point in your recruitment. 

Most PNMs are impressed by many chapters and they’re sad when the houses they really admire go away. But cuts happen and the best thing to do now is to put the eliminated chapters out of your mind completely. They are gone, gone, gone. Wipe the deck clean and just focus on your remaining sororities 100%. Those are now the only possibilities and they need your total attention and sparkle. Look for the brightest qualities in each one and turn on your PNM charm. Don’t let any disappointment show in your personality. The competition isn’t over yet. So keep on your A-game through Pref Night. 

It’s unlikely that you will be dropped by every sorority. This is just what happens during rush week. Keep smiling and stay enthusiastic about going greek. Bid day is almost here. Happy times are just around the corner! xoxo ;)

Hi! I started college at a small private university that didn't have Greek life. I took a year off after I wasn't sure which direction I was going in life and have now decided to maybe go to a larger school for human nutrition and dietetics. This will probably take a year and a half to two years for me to complete, depending on transfer credits, so I'll be around for a while. I've always wanted to go Greek but I'm wondering if I'm too old to rush at 24?

Asked by
beautifulmess23

NO you are not too old to rush! PNMs come in all ages. As long as you are young at heart, have energy and you “fit in” with the majority of younger pledges, membership can work it out. If there is a new colony coming to your college, that would be even better. They love older PNMs who are mature and can step right into leadership. Colonies are much more accepting of upperclassmen and they need a range of ages to start the chapter off right. Maybe you will have the opportunity to join one…

But even if you rush just the established chapters, you still have a good chance at finding a sisterhood. Emphasize all the talents you can bring to the sorority, your enthusiasm for going greek and how excited you are to be following your dreams. You have an interesting story, as long as you keep it positive. I think the chapters will love to hear about how you discovered your passion and all the things you have planned for your future. xoxo ;)

Hey! I am African American and I'm conflicted on joining a Panhellenic sorority next fall when I start college! I feel a bit discouraged because everyone asks me why not NPHC. I respect those sororities and I have met past alumna, however, I don't feel that I would be comfortable there. I am really interested in the recruitment process and how PHC works. Should I still rush, or would I face discrimination?

Asked by
machino-hi

There are African American sisters in NPC organizations across the country and you have every opportunity to join a chapter in that council. You should follow your heart and your gut to whichever recruitment you feel most drawn to. Membership is based on lifestyle, personality, achievement, interests, character, leadership potential, values and overall compatibility. Sororities are not looking at your skin color, religion, or politics ~ they are seeking good friends who they can hang out with, have fun together and bond as sisters. If you fit in with a chapter, they will certainly consider you for membership like any other PNM. 

There are sisters of all skin tones, nationalities and ethnic groups represented in greek life. Everyone is welcomed and encouraged to rush the NPC chapters. No one can guarantee specific results for a PNM (many, many Caucasian girls don’t get the bids they want) but if you give it your all, you should find a wonderful chapter where you can be happy. Don’t get discouraged if it takes more than one try. That happens to a percentage of all freshman PNMs. It doesn’t mean the chapters are against you. Sometimes there are just not enough spots for every PNM with the sororities they prefer. I give the same advice to every PNM ~ have an open heart & a flexible mind and I know you can make a NPC sorority match! xoxo ;)

So I went through recruitment this year as a freshman and I was having a total blast, except each day I was continuously cut from my favorite houses. On values day I only liked one of the four houses I had, plus I was very sick. They ended up dropping me and so I ended up dropping out of recruitment this year. Do you think there will be hope for me next year? Is there anything I should do during this year to better prepare?

Asked by
deadementia

I’m so sorry to hear that recruitment didn’t work out for you this time. Sometimes it takes more than one try. If you were sick, that didn’t help. Without being by your side, I can’t speculate about exactly what went wrong. If there is anyway you can step back and determine what you could have done better/different that would really help. For example, maybe you could have been more bubbly, been more outgoing, or your GPA could be higher. 

Sometimes when everyone likes the most charming houses ~ not all the PNMs can get in. It could be that your favorite sororities were also the super popular picks for many other PNMs and there just wasn’t room. Your results can depend on the competition the year you rush. The good news is, if you dropped out before bid day, you can try informal recruitment in the spring. Some houses will have openings and it’s a great way to go greek next semester. You don’t have to wait a full year. Look for announcements about COB and informal events and give the chapters with openings a second try. You may like them better when you talk with them again. 

Take this semester to make friends on campus, get involved with other groups and study hard. This will help you be a confident and attractive PNM in the spring. Also stay flexible and look for the BEST in each chapter. If you had 4 houses when you dropped out ~ you were doing very well as a PNM and 4 sororities were interested in having you as a sister. That’s more than many PNMs had during that same round. Open your mind to new possibilities in the year ahead and I think you will find greek happiness! xoxo ;)

Hey! Important question: What are some questions to expect from the sisters regarding to preference day? Please answer ASAP as Preference Day is tomorrow and I'm hoping I get asked back to a party!

Asked by
stelena8

Preference night focuses on ceremony and more intimate conversations. By now you should know the sisters pretty well and vice versa. There may be some “deeper” questions and conversations about your feelings, values and how you see yourself fitting in with the chapter. Here are some potential questions that you can ask and ones that you may be asked….. xoxo ;)

40 Questions for Sisters to Ask During the Preference Round

20 Thoughtful Questions for PNMs to Ask During the Preference Round

So I am starting Rush this weekend. Yay! So excited! However, Looking into the sororities, I have come across some that don't have houses. What are the costs and benefits of being a member of a sorority that doesn't have a house?

Asked by
elainemariept

The costs WILL be lower with a sorority that does not have a house. That’s just a financial reality. There will still be membership dues, activity fees and other expenses such as tee shirts and event tickets, etc… But you will avoid the housing, maintenance and meal plans. (Although you will be paying those bills anyway if you live in a dorm or an apartment.)

As for the pluses, there aren’t really any huge benefits to not having a sorority house. Most chapters wish they had a house! Sometimes sisters become closer out of necessity.. But it’s usually a challenge to secure a meeting place and it’s more difficult to get together socially. It can be done, and chapters make it work, but I would not say that it’s a preferable way to operate. 

In the end houses and dues are not THE most important thing. How you fit in with the sisters should determine your choices. Finding a group of friends who can enrich your life should be priority #1. If you fall in love a sorority that doesn’t have housing, ask the sisters about how they handle it. I’m sure they have solutions that help the sisters remain close and they find creative ways to stay strongly connected. xoxo :)

I am so glad you are helping girls be more comfortable with recruitment! This year will be my 3rd formal recruitment and I have also done 2 informal ones. I just wanted to say to all the PNMS who frequent this page It is REALLY good to take all the tips and advice you read here but also keep in mind you really want to be yourself. Don't worry so much if you are doing every little thing "right". Enjoy each of the rounds and find where you fit in the best based on your personality!

Asked by
fleetingloveee

Thank you for the compliments and words of encouragement for PNMs. It’s very helpful to hear from a veteran recruiter! xoxo ;)

I don't really know much about rushing or soroities, there aren't many in Canada - what is the silence period? I mean assumed you stay silent, but when, how long and what's it supposed to do?

Asked by
justlouisabeinglouisa

I believe you are referring the time right before recruitment when the sorority members and the PNMs cannot communicate. To avoid any undo influence or dirty rushing, the Panhellenic enforces a period of time when the girls involved in recruitment don’t talk in person or on the phone, don’t post on social media, don’t text, etc… By limiting the chatter, recruitment surprises are better controlled, secrets are kept and private information is contained within the chapters.

As a PNM, if you see a sorority sister on campus, she may not even say hello. No one has to remain silent in their personal lives, it just means no communication from one ‘side’ of rush to the other. It’s Ok to talk to everyone else.

How long the quiet time lasts varies from campus to campus. About two to three weeks is the average I think. During that time chapters are rehearsing for recruitment and PNMs are getting prepared as well. Then rush week commences and everyone starts talking and talking and talking. But only during official rounds. The personal talking is still off limits until after bid day. xoxo ;)

Tonight is our pref night (delayed sophomore rush). I got asked back to 1 house out of 2 possible but my roommate/best friend was not asked back to any of her houses and was cut from the process. I feel awful. How do I help her/make her feel better, etc.? She feels like she did something wrong & that it was personal, that they did not want her. I told her people fall through the cracks etc but nothing helps. I feel so bad getting ready for pref and worrying about it all when she's so upset

Asked by
cell-ar-door

Ohhhh nooooo. I feel for your roommate and I know you do to! It’s very kind of you to try to make her feel better. And you’ve said all the right things. But right now there is not much more you or anyone else can do. She needs time to get over this disappointment. I suggest the following ~ 

  • After your roommate counseling session, get a breath of fresh air! You need to clear your head of all the sadness and your friend needs to be alone for awhile. Take a breather between the problems and your Pref round. You need to re-group and get in a more positive place mentally. 
  • Maybe your roommate will go out while you are getting ready for Pref Night. I hope so! If not, please downplay your preparations. Don’t expect her to drool over your new dress or fancy hairstyle. Just quietly get ready, say some kind words and depart. Don’t let yourself get upset right before your big night. You have to put yourself first this evening. 
  • Shed the unhappiness the moment you leave your room. You can resume helping your roommate cope after you’re done with rush. Please don’t jeopardize your own chances by being preoccupied with her problems. You must compartmentalize for the time being. Your mind needs to be on enjoying the ceremonies ahead, really connecting with the sisters you speak with and making the final push for membership. Your personal journey to bid day is not completed yet. Don’t loose sight of the goal posts. 

You are doing all you can for your friend and that shows real character. Whichever sorority pledges you as a sister will be getting a terrific addition to their sisterhood. Keep focused and know that after one more event, you can get back to supporting your roommate and things will start to get better. xoxo ;)