Surprisingly you are the 2nd Wiccan to write to sorority sugar! I didn’t know there were so many Wiccans interested in going greek. I think you should “be yourself” and be forthright during recruitment. Even though pagan practices are not something you would normally discuss during lighthearted rush conversations, it will probably come up when talking about your interests and activities.
If your witchcraft is not going to infringe on other sisters, it should be Ok. No “viewpoint” should be in forced on other members. But if your rituals are private, then hopefully it won’t be an issue. Remember though, you’re in a small minority and not everyone will be comfortable with it. There may be some different opinions within Christian and Jewish based chapters. Most sororities in the NPC do not openly practice a faith these days. but many have strong faith-based founding principles from the 1800s. You might be at odds with some of them, not just them with you….
I believe there is a place for everyone, so you need to look for a sisterhood who will accept you for who you are. There is no point in hiding your lifestyle just to pledge a sorority. Your membership needs to be based on honesty and mutual respect. Keep in mind, every PNM is evaluated on her personality and lifestyle compatibility. If you’re not a match for some chapters, it’s totally normal. It doesn’t mean they hate Wiccans, they just don’t click with your way of life. The same standard holds true for every PNM.
I say, nothing ventured nothing gained. If you find you’re not a compatible match with the greek community, you are not obligated to join. You can drop out of recruitment at anytime with no negative consequences. It’s perfectly Ok to have greek friends and non-friends on campus and be very happy. xoxo ;)
• Please read my recent Q&A about being a Wiccan PNM for some more information:
Hi, I am wondering about partying before recruitment. What are the rules about attending parties the couple weeks before fall formal recruitment? Like fraternity parties and just parties in general where you may see women in sororities you are planning on rushing? Could it cause issues (either make them not want you or make you ineligible)? I'm not planning on making a mess of myself at parties, but I just mean being there in general and maybe having one drink.
As a PNM you can attend parties up to a certain point before recruitment. The sorority members also have a period of time when they cannot attend parties, or go to local bars, so they don’t mingle with PNMs. The sisters will know exactly when they can’t socialize before/during recruitment. For PNM restrictions you should check with your Recruitment Handbook. The information should also be discussed at your PNM Orientation. Another option is to ask your Rho Gamma/Gamma Chi directly. There us a dry period on most campuses, and you need to know when it’s enforced.
It’s better to error on the side of caution than to get yourself into any PNM trouble. There’s no need to bend the rules and party too close to recruitment. Verify the no-party timeline on your campus and stick to it. Right before rush you don’t want to be socializing with sisters, accidentally drinking too much, hanging out at the wrong place, or damaging your reputation in any way. Not worth the risk. Anything can happen after a few drinks. Even if sorority sisters are not present, they will hear about events from their fraternity friends. Greeks have a wide network of communication and there are very few secrets. Word travels fast on the greek grapevine. As a PNM you don’t want to be on that grapevine prior to recruitment.
If you need a drink right before rush, enjoy a glass of wine in your dorm room with your roommate. There will be lots and lots of parties to attend after bid day. Better to be safe than sorry. A sober PNM with a sterling reputation is priceless. Let the good times roll… later! xoxo ;)
Q: I’m getting ready to rush,but the only thing is I’m absolutely terrified of getting hazed. I’ve had people say the sororities don’t haze at all and some say that they circle your fat and make you swallow live goldfish, and I’m just very confused and freaked out. Do you have any advice that would make me feel better about this whole situation?
A: I don’t know where these rumors come from, but I personally never had ANY experience anywhere near what you describe. I never heard of anything like that going on at my campus, ever. All my greek friends who are currently in sororities have never come close to any weird behavior or scary hazing. And the NPC is 110% against it in every shape and form. So the concept is totally foreign to me and difficult to relate to.
I’m sure there are some bad apples somewhere in the country. but the urban legends and nasty gossip are just not true. As you can see from my blog, sisterhoods welcome their new “babies” with lots of love, shower them with gifts and then socialize together in really fun ways. Sororities in the 21st century are not about torture and misery! (They never were.) Plus with the close scrutiny from university administrations and the media, there’s no way they would get away with hazing anyway. In these sensitive times, where wearing the wrong hat can land a chapter in hot water, if tales of real hazing got out, all heck would break loose. Sororities cannot afford that kind of risk and lawsuit liability in today’s world.
If you ever found yourself being taunted about your weight, or asked to swallow live goldfish, you should leave immediately and report the sorority to your Panhellenic Council ASAP. There are strict NPC anti-hazing rules on every campus. The chapter would be dealt with severely. You will find that most everything in the Panhel is geared towards not giving off even a “hint” of hazing ~ from the language used in greek life, to the games played, the slogans used and everything else. There is NO reason to be fearful at all. Whoever is telling you tales is either not in a chapter and/or relying on false information. When you go through rush, use good common sense, look for super nice sisters and avoid any chapters that make you feel uneasy. I think when you actually meet all the greek girls face to face your mind will change completely! xoxo :)
hey! So I'm really looking forward to joining a sorority next year as a freshman no matter where I go, however the only thing holding me back is money. I know a lot of sorority aspects can add up. can u give me some specifics on cost? Obv everyone is different, but how do dues work, what's the range and how much would you except to spend on a reg. basis on clothes and crafts and such? And are certain schools/areas known to be more costly? It'll be a big help thanks!
Sorority membership does have financial obligations. It’s very smart of you to consider them before rushing. Yes, certain campuses are much more expensive than others. And chapters at the same college can vary in price. The range has a lot to do with the sorority house, meals, events, activities, number of members, national fees, etc… Large SEC schools in the south are more expensive than small colleges in the northeast. It’s something to think about during your college application process too.
Some greek apparel and gifts are a must. Along with fashions for formals, tickets, travel, retreats and more. For a run down on dues ranges, please visit my Recruitment FAQ Page - the second Q&A. Also on that page and my Chapter FAQ Page you will find posts on ways to dress for less, crafting on a budget and other helpful tips on ways to save money while being in a sorority. Many fees are set in stone, but there are also ways to keep additional costs down. Much of the extra “sugar” costs depend on what you do and how you do it.
When you attend pre-rush events and/or rush orientation, you should get more specific information on dues. But planning a basic budget in advance is very wise. xoxo ;)
i am going through a colonization at my school in a few days. i have two visible tattoos. one is on my wrist, but i will be covering that with bracelets during the rounds. the other one is on my foot and i will not be able to cover it in a discreet way during the 'pref' round (if i am invited back). both are small and tasteful, but i'm just worried about if there is a stigma about these in sororities. help! (i love your blog!)
These days more and more sorority members have tattoos. It may not be widespread in every chapter, but I don’t think it’s that unusual. I see many sisters with tattoos in chapter photos from around the country. The acceptance of them shouldn’t be a problem.
You are who you are. There’s no need to hide your personality. In fact if you cover up your tastes, you could end up in the wrong sorority. Better to be yourself and find sisters who accept and love you for your personal uniqueness. Why pretend to be someone you’re not? After you accept a bid, your sisters will see your tattoos. Do you want them to be surprised, because you covered them up during rush? I don’t think that’s being totally genuine.
You can be tastefully dressed and have some small tattoos at the same time. Once recruitment starts, please don’t stress about your appearance or you will seem nervous and self conscious. Focus on all the other parts of rush instead. Let the tattoo worries go. Don’t make it a big deal and it won’t be a problem. If sisters ask you about what they mean, have a nice story to tell about each one. They may be a fun topic of conversation! xoxo :)
I just attended a pre rush event at my school. I really clicked with two chapters, and I feel like they liked me. However, they all seemed to have a certain "look" that I'm not sure I have. My question is how much does a certain "look" affect a sorority's decision to drop or keep a PNM. I don't want to get my hopes up if there's no chance.
First of all, you can’t “give up” and not even try just because recruitment is challenging! You must keep your hopes up and give rush your all if you want to succeed. If you believe there is “no chance” before you enter into rounds, then what do you think your odds are for getting a bid? A dose of determination is very important for every PNM!
Secondly, when you meet a chapter, they do appear similar! They dress in matching clothes, style themselves the same way and look “uniform” on purpose. Even during pre-rush events they want to present a unified front. When girls join chapters, they start to have a common greek appearance. And when sisters recruit, they emphasize their close bonds by promoting their sorority style. A lot of that comes from matching outfits and accessories. The chapters want a signature look to define their brand and make them memorable. Every group promotes an appearance that PNMs will remember, be attracted to and want to be a part of. The sororities are trying to entice the best PNMs to their sisterhood.
As a PNM you have an individual style. You are not expected to look just like the sisters in any chapter. And you don’t need to be a perfectly polished sorority girl before you go greek. If you look closely, you’ll see that not every sister in one chapter is blonde, not all sisters are tall and not all girls have the same ethnicity. Each sorority has a mix of shapes, sizes, hair color, skin tone, weight and personalities. Yes, sororities start to have an overall “spirit” ~ such as the party sisters, or the crafty sisters. But within the generalizations there will be exceptions. There are all looks and all kinds of members within each chapter.
Greek organizations don’t want carbon copies or look-alike drones. Your unique look and personality is what they really want. If you’re a little different than the girls in your favorite chapters ~ good! You will stand out in the crowd. Don’t discourage yourself before you even give rush a try. Every PNM has an equal opportunity to receive a bid. xoxo ;)
"Persistence is what makes the impossible possible, the possible likely, and the likely definite." ~ Robert Half
Hi there! So my recruitment process is next weekend (eeeek!) and I'm getting excited and a little nervous (of course!). I was wondering - since this is for a new colony, I have to go through a membership appt/interview. I found some questions to ask during this, but I was wondering -- are there questions I should expect to *answer*? I just want to be prepared! :) thanks in advance!
The interviewers will want to know about you personally and what your goals are for being in their colony. They will be interested in what talents you can bring to the sorority, your leadership abilities, past experiences and your vision of where the new colony can go. They will judging how excited you are about the organization, how dedicated you will be and if your heart is really into it. Even though the interview system is different than formal recruitment, you still want to show your bubbly personality and outgoing nature. PNMs with nothing to say won’t make a great impression.
Even though colonies welcome many PNMs there’s still a screening process. Not everyone gets a bid. Before your appointment, review your own qualifications and know the things you can offer the new chapter. For example, your past leadership positions, organizational experiences, fundraising projects, and/or bookkeeping skills, etc… The sorority will be looking for PNMs with strengths in all the areas of chapter life. If you match your unique talents to what they need to fill their membership roster, you will be in a desirable position.
They may ask questions such as…..
- Can you work in group?
- Is teamwork important to you?
- What is your leadership experience?
- Have you ever volunteered for charity?
- What are your most important values?
- What talents can you bring to the colony?
- Can you give us an example of your dedication?
Having some knowledge about the national organization is helpful too. You can then show how you match the values and mission statement of the sorority. It also impresses the recruiters if you are educated in the character of the sorority, admire what they stand for and “see” yourself as a future sister. Your educated enthusiasm will make a great impression on the interviewers. If you are really “into it” they will feel your energy!
A colony wants PNMs who have these characteristics…..
- Hard Working
- Team Player
- Role Model
GOOD LUCK and shine brightly!! xoxo ;)
Q: Recruitment starts tomorrow!! Any last minute advice?!
A: How exciting!! Whether you are a PNM, or a sister, the advice is very similar……………..
✿ TOP 50 LAST MINUTE RECRUITMENT TIPS: ✿
- Be SINCERE!
- Sparkle & shine.
- Be the type of person you want to meet.
- Don’t compare yourself to others.
- Reach out from your heart.
- Keep your eyes on the prize.
- Talk until your throat hurts.
- Don’t be afraid to get excited!
- Smile & laugh
- Prepare to change your mind.
- Give yourself a break.
- Perfect is boring.
- Don’t let stubbornness stand in the way of your goals.
- Accept recruitment surprises.
- Banish self-consciousness.
- Think creatively.
- Spotlight the positive, downplay the negative.
- Keep score of your wins, not your losses.
- Stay sharp every round.
- Be grateful for the life you have.
- Sleep as much as you can and eat healthy.
- Accept fate.
- Be worthy of your favorite chapter or favorite PNM.
- Commit to change.
- Be kind to all around you.
- Graciously accept compliments.
- Keeping your expectations reasonable controls disappointment.
- Don’t be tooooo serious.
- Allow yourself to enjoy recruitment.
- Don’t loose hope.
- What you see in a chapter, or a PNM, depends on how you look at it/her.
- Be an overcomer.
- Never quit - just move on.
- Stop worrying about what other people think.
- Every round is another chance.
- Before you talk - think.
- Remember that you’re only human.
- Sometimes you win - sometimes you learn.
- See the opportunity in every sorority or every PNM
- You become like the people you spend the most time with, choose carefully.
- Believe you can and you will.
- Take a leap of faith!
- Find some humor in recruitment.
- Believe in yourself.
- Have a sense of adventure.
- Share the magical and beautiful parts of your life/chapter
- Choose happiness.
- Note to self: relax!
- Trust the process.
Hey again! One question that might be a bit of a curveball: how do I move ahead after not getting a bid, and all my friends did? They're all in the house I wanted. :( And Im trying my best but I feel a little stuck and a lot-tle rejected.
I know you are in a tough spot. First, you should accept that you WILL feel terrible for awhile. There’s no getting around it. You need some time and space to heal your wounds. Your ego has taken a beating and it’s Ok to give yourself a mourning period. The unfortunate things that happened during rush are difficult to get over. Give yourself the green light to just be plain sad for awhile.
After your heart has healed a little…. then you can dust yourself off and look into other activities on campus. The last thing you want is to sit in your room being pitiful, while your friends are busy with greek life. So you must find other avenues of involvement. Join a few clubs, check out other greek organizations, play a sport, start a new hobby, take a part time job ~ anything that will take you to a new place mentally and physically. You need a fresh start, new non-greek friends and something different to occupy your mind. The best way to get over your set-back is to launch a new adventure as soon as you are ready. Your college journey has just begun. You’re just going in a different direction than you thought.
Even though you are starting on a new track, you don’t need to totally turn your back on your sorority friends. You may decide to rush again next year and you will have amazing connections in the house your friends belong to. Don’t “wait” for that day, but if it comes, you will have an advantage. For now, even if you feel rejected inside, you must put on a smile, move forward and not wallow in your unhappiness. Act as if everything is going to be alright and it will come to pass. You have no choice but to carry on. Maintain your dignity, and you never know where you will be this time next year! xoxo ;)
Get up one time more than you’re knocked down.
The best thing you can do is get involved in several activities and start meeting people on campus. With a full semester lead time before recruitment, many campuses with spring rush do a lot of networking during the fall. Unlike the summer lead in to fall recruitment, you and the sororities have time to meet each other in advance of the first round.
If you are friendly with your roommate, attend parties together on campus. Go to football games, events, fundraisers and greek socials which are open to non-greeks. Make friends in your dorm, classes and join some other clubs. Everyone you meet could be a link to a sorority member, or a sister herself. You can’t get to know too many people during your first semester on campus. Each one of them is a potential help-mate in going greek.
Being friendly and outgoing is a favorite greek personality trait. Your involvement also gives you more things to talk about during rush. If you are invited to coffee, lunch, or dinner by a sorority member ~ accept all invitations. Once rush week gets closer, the direct contact will stop, but early on it’s OK to socialize. Meeting fraternity members is also helpful. But make sure to behave yourself. You can’t become a total frat rat and keep your good reputation for the sororities. Classy behavior is a must if you attend fraternity events. Don’t become an out-of-control freshman, or it will hurt your PNM chances. There’s a fine line between being socially active and getting a bad rep.
Put yourself out there, be friendly to everyone you meet, (you never know who they’re connected to) and become well adjusted to college life. Knowing friendly faces at the sororities will make you feel so much more secure and welcomed in the spring. xoxo ;)
I'm participating in sorority recruitment and I'm so excited! It's not until next week but I can't stop thinking about meeting possible new sisters and getting to know them :) I'm in a small college and my two roommates are sisters for theta phi and they are so excited as well! Everyone around me is so pumped and the energy is just incredible! I'm just wondering if once bidding is done if the energy dies down or if it's always so exciting and fun like this. Thanks!
No….. it’s not always the high energy of recruitment. Rush week is a special time of year. Membership is still fun and interesting, but no one could keep up the fever pitch of formal recruitment year round. It would be exhausting.
Enjoy every moment of the week ahead with all the decorations, chants, displays, speeches, etc… It’s a special time when all the PNMs will be treated extra well. The chapters work very hard to impress you and most PNMs feel like pampered guests at each sorority house. It’s a fantastic experience.
When bid day is over, you will need to adjust to the real world again. The high will be gone, but it should be replaced with a deeper kind of love. As you bond with your new sisters, go on retreats, attend meetings, volunteer together, etc… your feelings will grow. It’s the same as a boyfriend /girlfriend relationship. At first it’s all hearts, flowers and rainbows, then as you date longer your relationship should deepen into something more serious. It works the same way in a sisterhood! Lots of joy and excitement in the beginning, followed by closer friendships and more meaningful times spent together during the year.
Then next year you can experience the thrill of formal recruitment all over again form the chapter side. Your greek “Christmas” comes once a year! xoxo :)
This past weekend my sorority had open house and philanthropy round this past weekend and we have preference this upcoming Saturday & bid day on Sunday. I talked to this PNM however briefly, and I really liked her. I think she would make a great edition to my chapter BUT I can also see her picking another chapter at my school. I preffed her for preference round so hopefully I get her but since it's my first I would love to know any tips I can try to seal the deal and get her to pick us? Thanks!
When it comes to the Preference Round it’s more about emotions and less about discussing the facts of figures of greek life. If you can touch the heart of your rush crush, you will be doing the best you can to encourage her to pledge your chapter. These are some areas to cover in your Pref Night conversations…
- Speak about your personal experience in the sorority and how much it means to your heart.
- Emphasize the warmth and emotional benefits that come to PNMs who join your sorority.
- Highlight your deeper values which radiate from your creed, motto and principles.
- Share what makes your chapter unique and different than all others.
- Ask your PNM what she wants most in a sorority and fulfill her wishes with examples from your chapter.
- Make your PNM feel extra special and personally “chosen" for sisterhood.
- Answer any lingering questions or concerns your PNM has. Be her trusted friend and confidant.
- Highlight your chapter (and you) being ~ genuine, sincere, authentic, real, friendly, loving, positive, happy and a safe harbor for PNMs.
- Focus on your PNM’s needs, wants, feelings, desires, goals and expectations. Then show how your chapter can make her dreams come true. Be the answer to what she’s looking for most.
- Embrace your PNM with a sense of belonging and acceptance for who she is as an individual. Your chapter loves her for being herself. She doesn’t have to be something she’s not.
I also have a List of Questions to ask PNMs on Pref Night. You may not need questions, but the topics on the list are also good ideas for conversations too:
• 40 Questions for Sisters to Ask During the Preference Round
The reasons are the same as any PNM. A Legacy is given extra attention and close consideration, but it’s up to the girl and the chapter to make a genuine match. Legacies are not automatic sisters. Frequently the PNM likes another chapter better. Sometimes the sorority just can’t see the Legacy fitting in. Because a PNM’s family member was an XYZ doesn’t mean she has any “spark” with them.
Some of the possible reasons for a Legacy not getting a bid would be ~ no personality match with the sisters, no lifestyle match, low grades, low character, not outgoing or talkative enough, lack of leadership skills, no activities or clubs… and many other criteria that chapters use to evaluate potential pledges. A Legacy has to meet all the same standards that other PNMs do. The legacy status just brings her to the special attention of the chapter, but after that it’s up to her to shine brightly. xoxo ;)
I'm looking into joining a sorority at my school, but the one that I really see myself in has been kicked off campus. Is it still worth it to rush? Or should I keep looking in to the orgs that are still on campus?
If you could only see yourself in the chapter that was kicked off campus, I wonder what you’re looking for!? I would not wait on one troubled chapter to return. Instead, it would be a great idea to participate in recruitment and find a sorority that’s securely in good standing. You don’t really know how you will ‘click’ with the sisters until you rush. So please don’t discount any of the remaining organizations.
I’m sure there are other fun-loving sisterhoods that you can enjoy just as much as the one with standards problems. It would not pay to wait on them to be reinstated ~ while you become an older PNM. Now is your best chance at going greek. Don’t let a prime opportunity pass you by! xoxo :)
Follower follow up ~
What a lot of PNMs don’t seem to realize is that recruitment (along with being fun) is really, really stressful! It’s not easy meeting, remembering, and having good conversations with every single girl. Sometimes there are too many to count!
If you’ve received interest from multiple sororities, there is a good chance that you’ll fit in just fine with one of them! It’s hard to be “perfect” and every sorority woman is just trying her best to do what she thinks will entice and recruit potential members.
By the end of recruitment, especially b
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