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This is in response to letyourlovepour about rushing: I rushed as a sophomore on my campus. I knew there was a new colony starting up that my cousin was in, so I was sure that I would go for that sorority. Even with that knowledge I still went through formal recruitment to give the other chapters a chance since I did not know much about them. I ended up pledging to a different sorority than the one that my cousin was in. Don't be afraid of formal recruitment, it helped me find the perfect match.

Asked by

THANK YOU for sharing your new colony/regular recruitment experience!!  Very helpful. You never know where you will end up when you start your greek life journey!! xoxo ;)

I know we're not supposed to talk about partying or boys during recruitment, but what's a good way to kind of get a sense of which sororities are known for drinking and sleeping around at my school? Someone mentioned certain ones are known for that behavior while others are really against it but that they couldn't mention which.

Asked by

I think if you are a perceptive PNM you can probably get a good idea of what’s up when you meet all the sororities. I don’t want to promote stereotypes, but the quiet girls who dress very modestly and talk a lot about crafts and their chapter book club are probably not the hotties. Girls tend to look and act like their lifestyle, even if they don’t talk about guys and partying directly. You should be able to tell the difference - in general - between the fast girls and the ones who study in the library on Friday nights. Use your ability to read between the lines at each house. Most girls have a 6th sense about other girls without any words being said!   

Also, depending on which style of sorority you prefer, you will hit it off better with certain sisters than others. Each chapter will have it’s on VIBE. One chapter may boast about their trips and activities, while another will brag about their academic awards. One sorority may show off their scrapbooks and the other will display their sports trophies. If you keep your eyes and ears open, you will quickly get a picture of each organization. Put all the “clues” together and you will form a pretty good idea of what each chapter is all about. 

Will you know everything before bid day? No! But that’s where the chemistry of the sisters you meet comes in. The sisters will be sensing your personality and choosing new members who will party like they do ~ or not. Trust the system and your own instincts. If you are not the type to join a certain sorority, they won’t invite you back. It has a way of working out. xoxo ;)

P.S. If by chance you do find yourself in a party crazy chapter after bid day, (and this is not your style) please know that you do NOT have to drink heavily or sleep around to be a sorority sister. There will be girls in every chapter who don’t do those things and some that do. Blanket stereotypes don’t cover every member. Continue to be yourself wherever you pledge. And seek out like minded sisters! 

rush talk: an unorganized recruitment…

Q: My school hasn’t really given me any information on Recruitment except for the dates. My school is fairly small so I assume I don’t need any rec letters. I haven’t received any type of registration, but I figured that’s mainly for larger schools. I know what to wear on recruitment days only because I’ve done online research but since rush isn’t until Sept. 3, I have time to figure it out I guess. I just feel like there’s some information I’m missing.

Does recruitment usually take place on the weekends or how do they keep recruitment from interfering with each PNM’s class schedule? For example, on my school calendar it says recruitment day 1 takes place Friday September 5th @ 9 am and I’m sort of confused because I have a class at that time. Do people skip class for recruitment or how does that work? Thanks!

A: First things first ~ you MUST register for recruitment somehow. The chapters need to know each PNM coming through individually. Even the smallest formal recruitment should have an application form, a way to sign up and a process for submitting your photograph. 

As for the dates, usually recruitment is held the week before classes start in the fall, or right before classes begin again after Christmas break leading into the spring semester. It is odd that your school would schedule rounds during class time. A recruitment held during the semester, might schedule events in the evenings or weekends, so they don’t conflict with classes. It’s all rather confusing. But to answer your question ~ yes I guess you will need to skip class to attend rush. If you are not meeting the sisters, they cannot evaluate you for membership. You must “be there” in order to rush and receive a bid. 

I am beginning to wonder if this is an informal recruitment instead of a formal one? Informal (or COB) is more casual and possibly your campus defers formal rush until the 2nd semester. It’s a possibility you should double check! Often the freshman must wait until spring to participate. The fall is for older PNMs and transfer students. Maybe this is the case.

Please revisit the Panhellenic Council or greek life website and social media for more details on all of your concerns. Visit the social media of each sorority individually for more hints about what the heck is going on. I don’t want you to miss out because of poor organization or poor communication. Email the Panhellenic leaders in charge of rush and ASK about the information you are missing. If rec letters are not needed, that’s Ok, but you should confirm the other things like your registration first and foremost! xoxo ;)

As your going through the rounds, when do you figure out which chapters asked you back?

Asked by

Typically you will get your list of chapters asking you back the next day.

For example: Day 1 you visit all the houses. After all the rounds, you rank your choices in order. The sororities also submit their lists of PNMs they want to invite back. Overnight the computer program does it’s magic of matching the names. The next morning, Day 2, you get your updated list from your Rho Gamma. You then proceed to visit the houses on your list for that day. This process continues all week. Systems vary by campus, but this is the general procedure. xoxo ;)

Hey girl! I'm rushing in t-minus 18 days (ahh!) and I am fairly confident but I have one main concern. I just got my nose pierced back in June and I love it. It's small enough but it's still noticeable. Should I keep it in for rush? Some girls in the houses on my campus have told me to take it out and others have told me to keep it in. I do not want it to interfere with my chances of getting a bid. Also, this is dumb probably, but it kinda/sorta clashes with my rush outfits. Thanks!

Asked by

I don’t think you can really go wrong either way. If the piercing is small and subtle, it’s not like you have a big brass ring between your nostrils. If you want to error on the side of caution, then take it out for recruitment. You can’t go wrong with not wearing it. That’s the safest approach. 

On the other hand, leaving it in shows your personality and there is no reason to hide your style. Many PNMs rush with piercings and tattoos. You are who you are and you can tastefully display your look. 

Bottom line: I can see both sides, but if you want to be 100% sure you are “safe,” (or it clashes with your outfits) then go with not wearing it. PNMs also don’t wear cut-offs or mini skirts ~ so it’s totally Ok to edit some style choices for the purposes of recruitment. You can choose what looks best and still be true to yourself. Do what you’re most comfortable with overall! xoxo ;)

✬ sorority friendly “would you rather?” questions! ✬

The game of impossible choices "Would You Rather" makes for excellent PNM recruitment conversations, new member retreat ice breakers and big/little speed dating questions. They are also fun for sisterhood socials and co-ed greek events when you need a few thought provoking questions to break the ice!

Create your own specific greek community questions too for extra fun. If you know all the ins and outs of each chapter, a personalized campus version would also be very entertaining! 


  1. Would you rather find true love or $10,000,000?
  2. Would you rather live to be 200 in colonial times or live a normal lifespan modern day?
  3. Would you rather be famous or the best friend of someone famous?
  4. Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?
  5. Would you rather go back in time and meet your ancestors or go into the future and meet your grand children?
  6. Would you rather live in Harry Potter’s world or live a life of wealth and fame?
  7. Would you rather be the smartest person or the hottest person?
  8. Would you rather be half your height or double your weight?
  9. Would you rather have a rewind button in your life or a pause button in your life?
  10. Would you rather be named after a car or be named after a vegetable
  11. Would you rather always be underdressed or overdressed?
  12. Would you rather be able to talk with all animals or be able to speak all foreign languages?
  13. Would you rather have no one show up to your wedding or no one attend your funeral?
  14. Would you rather have mermaids be real or have unicorns be real?
  15. Would you rather be Hermione or Katniss?
  16. Would you rather date a celebrity or date the hottest person you know?
  17. Would you rather own a big dog or a small dog?
  18. Would you rather wear only 80s clothes or wear only 80s hairstyles?
  19. Would you rather listen to older music or today’s music?
  20. Would you rather have an ordinary home in an extraordinary place or an extraordinary home in an ordinary place?
  21. Would you rather know the truth or let some stuff stay secret?
  22. Would you rather have piercings or tattoos?
  23. Would you rather get stuck in a broken elevator or stuck on a broken ski lift?
  24. Would you rather have a personal chef and gourmet meals or a personal chauffeur and a really expensive car?
  25. Would you rather take a European sightseeing vacation or a relaxing Caribbean vacation?
  26. Would you rather have a Coke or a Pepsi?
  27. Would you rather be able to control your dreams or be able to watch your dreams on video the next day?
  28. Would you rather never be able to shower again or never be able to see your reflection in a mirror again?
  29. Would you rather give up your cell phone or loose a friend?
  30. Would you rather receive cash or gifts for Christmas?
  31. Would you rather go to a movie theatre by yourself or go to a restaurant and eat dinner by yourself?
  32. Would you rather drink a milkshake or a smoothie?
  33. Would you rather have a nice professor who is bad at teaching or a mean professor who is great at teaching?
  34. Would you rather be guaranteed a really hot spouse or a really rich spouse?
  35. Would you rather chase your career or get married and start a family?
  36. Would you rather work for Goggle or Facebook?
  37. Would you rather look young and beautiful even when you’re old or have the ability to become invisible?
  38. Would you rather have a personal hair stylist or a personal massage therapist?
  39. Would you rather live with your soul mate in an Alaskan cabin or with your best friends on a tropical island?
  40. Would you rather give up Christmas or give up your birthday?
  41. Would you rather be hysterically funny or absolutely beautiful? 
  42. Would you rather have no internet service or no cell service?
  43. Would you rather loose an arm or loose a leg?
  44. Would you rather watch an awesome movie or read an awesome book?
  45. Would you rather eat at a buffet or oder off the menu?
  46. Would you rather travel the entire earth or go into space?
  47. Would you rather walk in the jungle with hungry lions or swim in the ocean with hungry sharks?
  48. Would you rather be a kid your whole life or an adult your whole life?
  49. Would you rather spend a week camping in a tent or staying at a luxury hotel?
  50. Would you rather know it all or have it all?
  51. Would you rather watch the summer Olympics or the winter Olympics?
  52. Would you rather eat cookie dough or brownie batter?
  53. Would you rather be able to zoom in your vision or zoom in your hearing?
  54. Would you rather be rich and miserable or poor and happy?
  55. Would you rather have your own restaurant or have your own dress boutique?
  56. Would you rather be a zombie slayer or a pirate?
  57. Would you rather live in an igloo or live in a teepee for the rest of your life?
  58. Would you rather date a person who is cocky or a person who has low self-esteem?
  59. Would you rather have the Queen of England’s job or the US President’s job?
  60. Would you rather have a fake orange tan or be white as snow on the beach?
  61. Would you rather have a side soup or a side salad?
  62. Would you rather have your first child when you are 19 years old or when you are 40 years old?
  63. Would you rather go 30 days without refined sugar or 90 days without caffeine?
  64. Would you rather live in a castle or own your own private plane?
  65. Would you rather write a best-selling novel or be on a TV reality show?
  66. Would you rather look better in photographs than you do in person or look better in person than you do in photographs?
  67. Would you rather have a job as the hottest actor’s personal assistant or a job as the president of a prestigious university?
  68. Would you rather be able to see one year into the future or change any one decision from your past?
  69. Would you rather wear summer clothes in the winter or wear winter clothes in the summer?
  70. Would you rather eat fast food hamburgers every night or eat Chinese take out every night?

✬ ✬ ✬ ✬ ✬✬ ✬ ✬ ✬ ✬ ✬ ✬ ✬ ✬ ✬

Would it be okay to ask about semester dues during recruitment or is that inappropriate?

Asked by

Hopefully you can find out about dues before recruitment! Many panhellenic’s will publish this information in their Recruitment Handbook ahead of time. Chapter dues can vary widely on the same campus. If finances are an issue, then you need some ballpark figures in advance of making your rush choices. Hopefully, the topic will be discussed at your PNM Orientation. That’s a wonderful time to ask about it.

Sometimes sororities will have a chart of their financial obligations displayed in the sorority house during recruitment so all the PNMs can be comfortable with the expenses. But that doesn’t always happen. For your own security, it would be very beneficial to get an idea of what you are facing earlier rather than later.

You CAN ask sisters about it if needed, but make sure you don’t look freaked out by the answers. You don’t want members to think you can’t handle the finances. They are looking for lifelong sisters who will make a long tern commitment. Avoid looking nervous or panicked during the precious few minutes you have with each chapter. (And you will need to ask each sorority the same question to get all the different rates.) 

Personally, I would rather talk about my amazing study abroad experience, or the time I won the gymnastic’s all around, than grill a sister on what the dues are. To me that’s information best gained elsewhere if at all possible. The moments are precious at each house and I would spend my time discussing exciting sorority topics instead. Uncomfortably discussing money is not my preferred PNM subject in the thick of recruitment! xoxo ;)

If I've done research on all of the Panhellenic sororities at my school, is it appropriate to mention that during recruitment? or would that give the wrong impression? Thank you!

Asked by

There is a fine line between being a “know it all” and being appropriately informed. You don’t want to be a complete dummy when it comes to the sororities ~ but you also want to be open to learning more during recruitment. The chapters work very hard to share their personality, experiences, facts and membership details with the PNMs. If you respond by saying “Oh gee, I already know all about your philanthropy” it will not go over well. LET the chapters educate you on what they’re all about. You also need some questions to ask the sisters. So it’s proper to appear inquisitive. 

During rush, if you’re not surprised when learning the facts about each chapter, act enthusiastically interested! The way each sisterhood presents themselves is very important for making your rankings. Let your pre-rush research slide to the back of your mind, relax and open up to what new information is presented to you during the week. Advanced research is about the mind, while recruitment is more about the heart. Combine your new impressions, with what you already know, and you should make excellent PNM decisions! xoxo :)

I am rushing as a sophomore in the fall, and I can't decide between rushing a new sorority that is starting a colony or going through Panhellenic rush with the freshmen. Or should I rush both? Thanks!

Asked by

IF there is the possibility to rush both ~ do that! If you just try for the new colony, then you have only 1 shot at membership. The full panhellenic recruitment will give you many more opportunities to go greek. You don’t want to rule out any chances for pledging. So, if the timing is right to explore ALL the chapter options, please seize the day and go for it. The odds are better when you have more choices! xoxo ;)

I'm rushing this fall & i was wondering what kind of questions I'll be asked when I meet some of the members of the sororities. I just want to make sure I'm prepared since I'm already nervous!

Asked by

Please visit my FAQ Page for links to posts on questions sisters may ask PNMs and some questions PNMs can ask sorority members as well. If the sisters are creative, they will ask you about things which reveal your personality, like who you would invite to dinner, or what’s your favorite book made into a movie.

Before recruitment, it’s a good idea to review your own personal preferences and life experiences, so they are at the forefront of your mind. You can even write them down to help you remember (or study your PNM resume.) Often, when you’re nervous, it’s difficult to answer questions ‘on the fly.’ It’s easy to forget what you had for dinner last night, let alone what you did during the first semester of your senior year in HS. Review your own accomplishments before rush starts! These are some of the typical categories you should brush up on:

  • Your leadership accomplishments
  • Your favorite things like food, books, movies, people & places
  • Role models in your life
  • Your family, especially any quirky stories 
  • Your hometown - unique details are good
  • Why you chose your college
  • Your major and academic interests
  • Hobbies & activites - anything a little different will make you more memorable
  • Sports accomplishments
  • Your history of living in different places or interesting vacations
  • ALL of your likes & dislikes
  • Your friendship experiences
  • Volunteering & charity involvement  
  • Your dreams & goals
  • Why you want to join a sorority
  • What you have to offer a chapter
  • Anything that makes you unique!

Practice by answering some “Questions for PNMs” and you will get comfortable thinking on your feet and being super charming! xoxo ;)

• 101 Creative Conversation Starters for Sisters to Ask PNMs

• 33 Questions to ASK PNMs

• 25 Interesting Questions to Ask PNMs During Rush

• Big/Little Speed Dating Questions (good for PNMs too!)

What are appropriate ways of showing interest in a house and telling them you are interested in their sisterhood during the first and second rounds of formal recruitment? (I don't want to scare them away by being too forward!)

Asked by

The best way to show interest is to naturally engage with the sisters you speak with. If you gush too much, and tell a chapter you’re super interested, you may seem overly eager or desperate. Sure enough, you will be cut the next day if you come on too strong. The chapters like to make up their own minds. Let the sororities pursue you a little bit. You should be a desirable PNM who the chapters are trying hard to “snag.”

Let the ‘courtship dance’ of recruitment take it’s course. You don’t need to force anything. Through your natural smiling, enthusiasm, interest, questions and responses ~ the chapters will be able to tell you are appropriately interested. Your goal as a PNM should be to show positive interest in EVERY sorority in the first few days. You never know who will invite you back or not. So during the first and second round, you must be really attentive and excited about all the houses. Sparkle during every round and let the rest fall into place. 

When you get to the Preference Night round, then you can express deeper interest in your final 2-3 chapters. Keep your options open and share your happiness with ALL of your final choices. A PNM does not know 100% what will eventually happen on bid day. So be loving and enchanted with your final sororities through the very final minutes of recruitment! xoxo ;)

The dress code for round one or day one at my college just says casual. What would you say is the typical 'sorority casual' look?

Asked by

Typically the first day of recruitment means shorts and a cute shirt. You can also wear a summery skirt and top, or a casual sundress. Shorts, sundress, or skirt should all be acceptable under the banner of “casual attire.” They should be nice versions, while being relaxed and attractive. These are some examples of casual looks for day 1:



I went through rush last year but didn't end up receiving a bid. I had a rough time during rush and think it was because I was not prepared for college or being in a sorority. I plan on rushing again this year as a sophomore and I'm really nervous i will not receive a bid this year even though I think I'm ready. Do you think it is likely to happen again? Any advice?

Asked by

I seriously doubt it will happen again! But you should review what occurred the first time and make necessary changes. If you were too shy and quiet, be more outgoing. If you were negative, be totally positive. If you saw the other PNMs doing things differently, or looking better groomed, step up your game in how you act and how you look. I know it’s difficult, but try to be objective about what areas you can improve before the next recruitment. 

Also, make sure you are making wise choices as a PNM. If you dropped perfectly good chapters from your list, maybe they could actually be matches for you. Don’t be overly picky. View this second rush as a completely fresh start. Evaluate each sorority in a new light.

Take your previous rush experiences to heart, learn from what happened and you will greatly increase your odds for success. With an open mind I think you will be able to find a sorority home this time around! xoxo ;)

Hi there! I'm going to be a senior in high school and I just recently thought that I would want to join a sorority. I plan to go to Arizona State next year. I was just wondering what I need to do to rush. I know one girl was telling me about a letter she needed but I didn't understand that at all. I'm a smart and outgoing person and I'm student body president, so I wouldn't have a problem fitting in. But I just don't understand the steps of rushing.

Asked by

You sound like an excellent future sorority girl! You have all the qualifications. Once you confirm your acceptance at ASU, then you can research their recruitment policies. Each school is a little different, so wait until you know for sure where you will be attending. 

Your friend was telling you about recommendation letters which are needed at some universities. A good place to learn the BASICS of sorority recruitment in general is the sorority sugar HOMEPAGE! Take a look at my top navigation bar and click on the links to the Glossary of Terms and FAQ pages. There you will get an overview of the what it takes to rush. 

Basically you register, get rec letters mailed in on your behalf, participate in a week of recruitment events and then finally join a chapter on bid day. Once you register, you will be provided with a Recruitment Handbook and lots of information about “how to do it.” You can also visit the websites and social media of the Panhellenic Council and individual chapters at ASU when the time comes.

You will start the process late spring 2015. So until then, keep your grades up, participate in lots of activities in HS, volunteer and make the most of your student government leadership. You will be an ideal PNM when you go away to college! xoxo ;)