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sorority Q&A: pledge class problems…

Q: I’m in the pledging process and my pledge class is having a hard time communicating. I feel like everything I’m saying is falling on deaf ears (I’m not annoying either, everyone is communicating in the same chat, I’m just ignored.) It’s honestly stressing me out because we all need to work together and I feel like some of us are doing more work than others. It’s like, why am I even here? Why am I even talking? I feel like I’m wasting my energy honestly.

A: My first suggestion is to CHANGE the style of your communication! If your class is trying to work out details, make plans and organize things in an online group chat ~ maybe you need to meet in person instead. Things are understood better if you can see a sister’s face and hear the tone of her voice. Reading the written word does not always get the point across when dealing with a large group. And your suggestions are not being “heard” in text form. Online reminders and updates are great, but for more in depth conversation and decision making your pledge class should find other methods of communicating. If things aren’t working ~ make a change! 

Also, if there is no response to your suggestions, maybe your class does not agree with them. It’s possible that you are trying to force some ideas on your sisters which they are not responsive to. It’s hard to tell in a chat format, but it’s something to think about. You can’t make other members do things your way… 

As for "some members doing more than others" ~ WELCOME to every club, sorority, committee, or group you will ever belong to! About 20% of the members do all the heavy lifting. You will find this to be true your entire life. So if that part of chapter life bothers you, please step back and don’t get so involved. If you can’t give of your time and talents without expecting total compliance or total participation ~ then just relax and be a regular member-at-large. Not everyone is cut out for leadership. 

But if you do want to lead, then accept that leaders volunteer extra time, feel extra stress and work extra hard to manage their team. If you can give patiently and generously, you can help your pledge class. Yet if you always feel like throwing in the towel and stomping your feet when you don’t get your way ~ another chapter game plan would be better for your personality! Only you know where your comfort level is. I hope you find it soon, so you can be happy with your sisterhood and not build any resentments. xoxo ;)

I don't know if I want to drop before I week or not. At the beginning I used to be the one that would convince my pledge sisters not to drop, but now I don't feel the "sisterhood" or anything. I feel like no one cares and since everyone has their cliques in my pledge class, I'm the one sister people go to to party, not for friendship or anything. I'm not sure if I want to stay or not... But being in my sorority has created friendships with the fraternity boys, not so much my sisters :(

Asked by
ilovezaddy

of course i am going to encourage you to stay the course! not everything is perfect in a sorority from day 1. you will have different experiences along the way… good times and bad times. just like real life!

maybe some of the young girls in your pledge class are self absorbed or a little shallow, but there are all types in every group. it’s up to you to associate with the sisters you feel value you sincerely, and are of the highest caliber. there are many sisters beyond your pledge class. once you are initiated, it is much easier to assimilate into the larger group. 

i encourage you to think LONG TERM. look past the silliness of today and think about all you can give to your chapter over the next 4 years. by focusing on giving, you will get so much more in return. recapture your chapter pride, think about all you can offer as an active and all the benefits of alumnae membership as well.

ask not what your chapter can do for you ~ but what you can do for your chapter!! xoxo