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big/little problems: not getting the Little you wanted…

Q: I’m taking a little this semester and I’m super excited about it, but the little that I got is not the one that I was wanting. I’ve talked to her and hung out with her, but she’s kind of shy. I don’t see our personalities meshing very well. I don’t really know what to do because I don’t want to be that big who gets a little and then never talks to her. But I also don’t see myself giving it my all to be her big.

A: You DO know that you have free will and you can CHOOSE to do the right thing? You can be a good person in spite of your feelings. That’s what sisterhood, loyalty and commitment is all about. Strong character shines when the situation is less than perfect, not when everything is sunshine and roses. You say you have the potential to be a terrific big sister, but you are choosing not to do that. All because this particular sweet and shy (probably overwhelmed) new member is not your first choice little. Uhhhhh… I am almost speechless. But not quite!

 YOUR NEW LITTLE: 

  • She may take awhile to warm up to people. She may not be quiet once you really get to know her. She could just be intimidated in new situations. 
  • You and your sorority voted for her to be a sister for life, so there is something wonderful about her personality.
  • She NEEDS and deserves a loving big who will treat her as a special person, show her the ropes, spoil her and guide her. It’s not her fault she was matched with you and not the other little. 
  • Shyness is not the same as being mean, rude, gossipy, back-stabbing, or other seriously unpleasant personality trait. She could be much, much worse. 
  • Time, familiarity and the security of being big/little helps most shyer girls come out of their shell. Given the chance she will probably blossom. Feeling loved and accepted works miracles. 

✬ YOU: 

  • Please give your new little a chance! Imagine what would happen if you went ahead and DID all the awesome things you want to do as an ideal big. What if you acted like you got your #1 choice? What do you think the result would be if you treated her just like a little you’re crazy about? Do you think your relationship would be more positive if you were generous, attentive and totally lovable towards this sister? 
  • How you act and how you feel inside does not have to match. Sometimes you are obligated to do certain things because it’s the right thing to do. From doing your sorority duty many blessings will come. If you give to your new little you will be doing the right thing. If you choose to ignore her and don’t do much ~ guess what will happen? Only unhappiness and negativity will be the outcome. Being cheerful, involved and giving is sooooo much more fun. Take the high road and you will be happier too. 
  • This is an ideal opportunity for BOTH of you to grow. You are now learning that you don’t always get exactly what you want in life. Your personal challenge is to make the best of it. Your little will hopefully learn to be more outgoing with your help. If you are a salt & pepper match, it can be a good thing. She can help you be more generous of spirit and you can help her become more empowered. Look for ways to compliment each other.The best of friends are often opposite in several ways, but they balance each other out. What can you learn from your little? What can she learn from you? How can you enrich each other’s lives? 
  • Not every big/little bond starts with A+ compatibility. Many big/little pairs don’t know each other well and some are complete strangers. You have 100% free will do make this relationship either the best it can be, or a complete failure. Your little will be looking for you to set the tone and take the lead. What kind of big do you want to be remembered as? What do you want your little to say about you years from now? How you were selfishly disappointed in her and didn’t give her the time of day? Or, how you took her under your wing, were nicer to her than any other sister and even though your personalities were a little different, you took the time to make her feel completely loved and accepted in her new sorority? You are the author of your own life script. Which story do you want told about you? 

✬ ✬ ✬ ✬ ✬ ✬ ✬ ✬ ✬ 

sorority Q&A: national sorority + a local sorority?

Q: I go to a school where we have all national sororities on campus and I am a member of Delta Zeta. Where I am thinking of transferring has no national sororities only local ones. I love my sisters dearly but would I still be allowed to join a local chapter at my new school? I know you’re not allowed to join other national chapters but didn’t know about local. Also, would I still be a sister of DZ as well cause I don’t want to end my affiliation with them.

A: You would need to check your specific DZ bylaws, but I believe you can join another non-NPC chapter. The issue is ~ would you really want to? To keep both memberships alive, you would be paying double the dues. Even if your DZ status switches to early-alum, it’s still spending money for two memberships. And you would start all over again as a PNM, buy a new pin, learn another chapter’s history, go through initiation, etc… A local social sorority is so similar to your current greek life, I can’t image doing everything again. Your loyalties would be severally tested. It could be very uncomfortable, your DZ sisters wouldn’t appreciate you joining another sorority and the smaller chapter/local greek community will probably pale in comparison to the amazing experience you’ve had in DZ. Confusing, weird and unfaithful are the words that come to mind when I image doing what you’re considering.

First, I encourage you to research colleges WITH your sorority! There are about a zillion universities in the USA and I’m sure there are a few which have your academics and your greek organization. Why not continue to enjoy the sisterhood you committed to and love? You can “have it all” on a different campus. There are only 4 short years in which a sister can experience the joys of collegiate membership. Alumnae participation is nothing like it. Why cut your happy time short? Another option is to reconsider staying on your current campus since you have a loving chapter. It’s not easy finding compatible sisters. I wouldn’t toss your original chapter away lightly. 

Secondly, IF the college with only local sororities is the place for you, then I suggest looking into OTHER groups/clubs to join. You don’t have to pick another social sorority to have fun and meet people. Look at special interest clubs, sports, hobbies, or pre-professional organizations. Consider joining a co-ed group. That will give you a totally different experience and you won’t feel like you’re cheating on DZ. Make your transfer an opportunity to explore new things, including how you make friends.

If there are no national sororities on campus, then greek life is not a big deal there. You would do better to join the newspaper staff, media club, writer’s group, dance troupe, pre-engineering club, political action committee, ski club, or other popular organization on campus. Find out what students do to connect and seek out your areas of interest. If you attend a ‘minimal-greeks university’, then do what the Romans do and get involved elsewhere. That way you can keep Delta Zeta as your very special sorority with no conflicts. I believe that would be a win-win for you!  xoxo ;)

☀ BOWTASTIC sayings for big/little crafts & tees! ☀

sorority sugar is bowtastic all day every day! Add some bow sugar to your big/little gifts, crafts, room decor and reveal fashions with these BOW-mendous, BOW-licious sayings!! xoxo 

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☀ BOWTASTIC Sorority Sayings: 

  • Bows, Pearls & _____ Girls 
  • Bow Hard or Go Home
  • Red, White & Bows
  • My Little Makes All Bows Look Good
  • Bows are a Girl’s Best Friend
  • I’m a Bow Addict
  • Bowtastic! 
  • Born for Big Bows
  • Born for Little Bows
  • The Bigger the Bow, the Better the _____
  • Bows Over Bros
  • Bows Before Bros
  • Yes My Bow is Bigger Than Yours
  • Bows are are Better than Tiaras
  • Big Bow - Happy Life
  • I Like Big Bows and I Cannot Lie
  • I Like LIttle Bows and I Cannot Lie
  • Bows & Bling, it’s a _____ Thing
  • When In Doubt, Put a Bow On It
  • Born with a Bow
  • No Bow? No Go
  • Bow Snob
  • If the Bow Fits
  • Rock The Bow
  • The Bigger the Bow, the Better the Big
  • The Bigger the Bow, the Better the Little
  • Bow Down to the Bow
  • Will Work for Bows
  • Good Things Come Tied with Bows
  • I’m a Bow Wearin’  _____ Girl
  • If All Else Fails, Get a Bigger Bow
  • Big Bow Girl
  • Eat, Sleep, Bows
  • Boots & Bow Kind of Girl
  • Dontcha Wish You Could Wear Bows Like Us?
  • This Girl Can Wear a Bow
  • Bad to the Bow
  • I’m a _____ from Bow to Toe
  • On Wednesdays We Wear Bows
  • Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Bows
  • Pretty Little Bows
  • The Best Girls Wear Boots & Bows
  • The Bow that Binds
  • The Tie That Binds Us 
  • Bold - Beautiful - Bows
  • To Love Me is to Love My Bow
  • Fight For the Right to Wear Bows
  • Let Your Bow Glow
  • Every Girl Needs a Bow

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☀ BOWTASTIC SAYINGS for Specific Chapters:

  • Seek Your Bow
  • Seek the Highest Bow 
  • We Live for Bows
  • The First & Finest Bows
  • Many Hearts - One Big - One Bow
  • I Live with Purpose - I Love My Bowtastic Big
  • The Best Girls Wear Rubies & Bows
  • Envy The Bow
  • Seek Bow - Attain Bow
  • Ladybugs, Bows & AΣA Girls
  • ♥ Bows
  • Anchored to My Bowtastic Big
  • Anchored to My Bowtastic Little
  • Double Blue & Gold Bows are Best
  • I Chose My Bowlicious Little Wisely
  • Steadfastly Lovin’ My Big & My Bow
  • Do Good - Wear a Bow
  • Unicorns Wear Bows & Pearls
  • Over the Moon for My Bowlicious Little
  • Betas & Bows
  • One Love - One Bow
  • Beautiful & Bowtastic
  • The Key to Happiness is a Blue & Blue Bow
  • I Only Wear the PHInest Bows
  • Aim for the Highest Bow
  • You Had Me at Bow
  • One Hope - Two Bows - Big & Little
  • One Heart - Two Bows - Big & Little
  • Doves Love Bows
  • Forever Tied Together
  • Only The Best Wear Bows
  • Seek the Noblest Bows
  • My Bow is My Crown 

☀ ☀ ☀ ☀ ☀ ☀ ☀ ☀ ☀ ☀ ☀ ☀ ☀ ☀ 

big/little problems: should friends be big/little?

Q: I was hoping you could give me advice about taking my best friend as a little.I don’t know if she is even going to join my sorority yet, but she likes the girls and she got a pref night invite from us. We’ve been roommates since freshman year and we get along really well. I have considered being her big but I’m worried it will change the dynamic of our relationship and will also not give either of us a chance to bond with another girl that could be a good big/little fit. I love her to death and she gets along great with my big and I’d love her as a little but i have concerns about the whole potential situation.

A: It totally depends on the two people involved! Some ‘friend’ big/little pairs wouldn’t have it any other way. Others keep their close friendship separate from the big/little program. It’s similar to not combining friends with business, or not loaning money to friends. Those types of things can ruin a longstanding friendship. But if both girls want to unite as big/little it can be comfortable, loving and lots of fun. Just think about your personalities before taking the leap. If you both are flexible, forgiving and easy going it will help!

If your friend does join your chapter, sit down for a heart-to-heart and share honestly about what you both would prefer. You don’t have to “pass” on your friend, just so she can have another Big. That Big may turn out to be a poor match. If there’s no one super special in the chapter for her, then that’s another advantage for you being her Big. Talk it over, see if there is another strong candidate and agree on what’s best for your relationship. Communication is key in your situation. If both of you are forthright, I think you can come to a positive mutual decision. xoxo ;)

So sadly I had to drop my sorority due to financial problems and my major being time consuming. The problem I am facing now that I have officially dropped is telling my amazing sorority fam who I love so much. Every time I'm around, all they can talk about is planning what we will do for my future little. I don't know how to tell them and I'm really worried they will cut me off like my other "sisters" did. How can I break it to them and also stay their unofficial "little"? HELP!

Asked by
crazybeautifulsensational

I am soooo sorry you couldn’t find a way to stick it out at a minimal level! You DO need to tell your family line that you’re not a sister any more. The longer you hide the truth from them the worse it will be. It will be much kinder coming from you ~ than for them to hear about it at the next chapter meeting. Their plans for a new Little will change and many other things too. 

Once you break the bonds of your commitment, sisters usually do not stay as close. You are no longer in the organization which means so much to them. And you are (n a sense) leaving them. Even though you don’t feel that way, it’s a typical sister reaction when a member disaffiliates completely. In their eyes you have turned your back on them. I’m not saying that’s correct, it’s just a normal reaction to someone leaving any close group. It would be the same if you left your church membership for example. People bond in special organizations and when bonds are broken it hurts. 

I know it’s not easy, but you should look for new friends in the non-greek community as soon as possible. This will help your transition in many ways. By hanging out with students who have the same major, or other common interests, you fill find some valuable camaraderie. I know you are very short on time, but if there is any way for you to do just one small activity on campus it would help you adjust to your new direction. There are many adventures ahead for you outside of greek life. It’s time to look forward and not back. I wish you all the best in the years ahead! xoxo :)

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hey! So I'm really looking forward to joining a sorority next year as a freshman no matter where I go, however the only thing holding me back is money. I know a lot of sorority aspects can add up. can u give me some specifics on cost? Obv everyone is different, but how do dues work, what's the range and how much would you except to spend on a reg. basis on clothes and crafts and such? And are certain schools/areas known to be more costly? It'll be a big help thanks!

Asked by
twice-sixteen

Sorority membership does have financial obligations. It’s very smart of you to consider them before rushing. Yes, certain campuses are much more expensive than others. And chapters at the same college can vary in price. The range has a lot to do with the sorority house, meals, events, activities, number of members, national fees, etc… Large SEC schools in the south are more expensive than small colleges in the northeast. It’s something to think about during your college application process too. 

Some greek apparel and gifts are a must. Along with fashions for formals, tickets, travel, retreats and more. For a run down on dues ranges, please visit my Recruitment FAQ Page - the second Q&A. Also on that page and my Chapter FAQ Page you will find posts on ways to dress for less, crafting on a budget and other helpful tips on ways to save money while being in a sorority. Many fees are set in stone, but there are also ways to keep additional costs down. Much of the extra “sugar” costs depend on what you do and how you do it. 

When you attend pre-rush events and/or rush orientation, you should get more specific information on dues. But planning a basic budget in advance is very wise. xoxo ;)

I just attended a pre rush event at my school. I really clicked with two chapters, and I feel like they liked me. However, they all seemed to have a certain "look" that I'm not sure I have. My question is how much does a certain "look" affect a sorority's decision to drop or keep a PNM. I don't want to get my hopes up if there's no chance.

Asked by
ariawarrior

First of all, you can’t “give up” and not even try just because recruitment is challenging! You must keep your hopes up and give rush your all if you want to succeed. If you believe there is “no chance” before you enter into rounds, then what do you think your odds are for getting a bid? A dose of determination is very important for every PNM! 

Secondly, when you meet a chapter, they do appear similar! They dress in matching clothes, style themselves the same way and look “uniform” on purpose. Even during pre-rush events they want to present a unified front. When girls join chapters, they start to have a common greek appearance. And when sisters recruit, they emphasize their close bonds by promoting their sorority style. A lot of that comes from matching outfits and accessories. The chapters want a signature look to define their brand and make them memorable. Every group promotes an appearance that PNMs will remember, be attracted to and want to be a part of. The sororities are trying to entice the best PNMs to their sisterhood. 

As a PNM you have an individual style. You are not expected to look just like the sisters in any chapter. And you don’t need to be a perfectly polished sorority girl before you go greek. If you look closely, you’ll see that not every sister in one chapter is blonde, not all sisters are tall and not all girls have the same ethnicity. Each sorority has a mix of shapes, sizes, hair color, skin tone, weight and personalities. Yes, sororities start to have an overall “spirit” ~ such as the party sisters, or the crafty sisters. But within the generalizations there will be exceptions. There are all looks and all kinds of members within each chapter.

Greek organizations don’t want carbon copies or look-alike drones. Your unique look and personality is what they really want. If you’re a little different than the girls in your favorite chapters ~ good! You will stand out in the crowd. Don’t discourage yourself before you even give rush a try. Every PNM has an equal opportunity to receive a bid. xoxo ;)

"Persistence is what makes the impossible possible, the possible likely, and the likely definite." ~ Robert Half

Hi there! So my recruitment process is next weekend (eeeek!) and I'm getting excited and a little nervous (of course!). I was wondering - since this is for a new colony, I have to go through a membership appt/interview. I found some questions to ask during this, but I was wondering -- are there questions I should expect to *answer*? I just want to be prepared! :) thanks in advance!

Asked by
frecklegrrrl

The interviewers will want to know about you personally and what your goals are for being in their colony. They will be interested in what talents you can bring to the sorority, your leadership abilities, past experiences and your vision of where the new colony can go. They will judging how excited you are about the organization, how dedicated you will be and if your heart is really into it. Even though the interview system is different than formal recruitment, you still want to show your bubbly personality and outgoing nature. PNMs with nothing to say won’t make a great impression. 

Even though colonies welcome many PNMs there’s still a screening process. Not everyone gets a bid. Before your appointment, review your own qualifications and know the things you can offer the new chapter. For example, your past leadership positions, organizational experiences, fundraising projects, and/or bookkeeping skills, etc… The sorority will be looking for PNMs with strengths in all the areas of chapter life. If you match your unique talents to what they need to fill their membership roster, you will be in a desirable position.

They may ask questions such as…..

  • Can you work in group?
  • Is teamwork important to you?
  • What is your leadership experience?
  • Have you ever volunteered for charity?
  • What are your most important values? 
  • What talents can you bring to the colony?
  • Can you give us an example of your dedication? 

Having some knowledge about the national organization is helpful too. You can then show how you match the values and mission statement of the sorority. It also impresses the recruiters if you are educated in the character of the sorority, admire what they stand for and “see” yourself as a future sister. Your educated enthusiasm will make a great impression on the interviewers. If you are really “into it” they will feel your energy!

A colony wants PNMs who have these characteristics…..

  • Reliable  
  • Dependable
  • Hard Working
  • Spirited
  • Enthusiastic 
  • Self-Starter
  • Bright
  • Team Player
  • Outgoing 
  • Genuine 
  • Motivator 
  • Leader
  • Role Model 
  • Optimistic
  • Friendly

GOOD LUCK and shine brightly!! xoxo ;) 

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✿ sorority sugar 50 last minute sorority recruitment tips! ✿

Q: Recruitment starts tomorrow!! Any last minute advice?!

A: How exciting!! Whether you are a PNM, or a sister, the advice is very similar……………..

✿ TOP 50 LAST MINUTE RECRUITMENT TIPS: 

  • Be SINCERE!
  • Breathe. 
  • Sparkle & shine.
  • Be the type of person you want to meet.
  • Don’t compare yourself to others.
  • Reach out from your heart.
  • Keep your eyes on the prize.
  • Talk until your throat hurts.
  • Don’t be afraid to get excited!
  • Smile & laugh
  • Prepare to change your mind. 
  • Give yourself a break.
  • Perfect is boring.
  • Don’t let stubbornness stand in the way of your goals.
  • Accept recruitment surprises.
  • Banish self-consciousness. 
  • Think creatively.
  • Spotlight the positive, downplay the negative.
  • Keep score of your wins, not your losses.
  • Stay sharp every round.
  • Be grateful for the life you have.
  • Sleep as much as you can and eat healthy.
  • Accept fate.
  • Be worthy of your favorite chapter or favorite PNM.
  • Commit to change.
  • Be kind to all around you.
  • Graciously accept compliments.
  • Keeping your expectations reasonable controls disappointment.
  • Don’t be tooooo serious.
  • Allow yourself to enjoy recruitment.
  • Don’t loose hope.
  • What you see in a chapter, or a PNM, depends on how you look at it/her.
  • Be an overcomer.
  • Never quit - just move on.
  • Stop worrying about what other people think.
  • Every round is another chance.
  • Before you talk - think. 
  • Remember that you’re only human.
  • Sometimes you win - sometimes you learn.
  • See the opportunity in every sorority or every PNM
  • You become like the people you spend the most time with, choose carefully.
  • Believe you can and you will. 
  • Take a leap of faith! 
  • Find some humor in recruitment.
  • Believe in yourself.
  • Have a sense of adventure. 
  • Share the magical and beautiful parts of your life/chapter
  • Choose happiness.
  • Note to self: relax!
  • Trust the process. 

WELCOME NEW sorority sugar SWEET ELITE SPONSOR ~ THE GREEK INK PRESS!!!!

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  • Cute gifts & accessories too, including the Lilly Pulitzer sorority line. 

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☀ rush crush sponsor spotlight ~ catching up with Sockprints & Pillowprintz! ☀

SOCKPRINTS is a long time friend and partner of the sorority sugar blog and a current Rush Crush Sponsor! I recently had a chance to catch up with them and ask about what’s new and exciting with their greek company!  

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SS: What’s the latest at Sockprints?

S&P: So many exciting things are going on at Sockprints! We had a busy summer working with chapters to design and create personalized socks for Recruitment and Bid Day. Sockprints offers quantity discounts for chapter purchases making custom socks the perfect finishing touch to event themes and outfits. Our socks were featured at a variety of National Conventions this summer and can be found on some National Sorority online stores!

As Reveal approaches we’re seeing a surge in orders for BIG and LITTLE socks and custom printed pillowcases. They make great gifts for Big/Little week and reveal. Also new to Sockprints is the addition of custom printed fraternity socks. Look for men’s sport crew socks and dress socks printed with a fraternity crest. These will be featured on our SockprintsOnEtsy shop. Great for a fraternity boyfriend!

SS: How exactly can sisters customize their sorority socks?

S&P: We have two online options for ordering custom sorority socks! Our SockprintsOnEtsy store features sorority designs ready to be personalized with a name, initials, or your chapter name. We also have a website: Sockprints for sisters who want to design their own unique, custom socks. Select a sock style, choose from a variety of sorority designs and personalize each pair. As an official licensed vendor for all 26 NPC groups, all of our designs have been pre-approved.

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SS: Do you have any favorite new sock designs?

S&P: Some of our new favorite designs are the sorority monogram socks, Americana sorority letters, and full-print sorority word art socks. Our full-print sorority word art socks are available on 1⁄2 cushion no-show socks. They’re perfect to wear around the sorority house, or to wear to the gym. The monograms and Americana sorority letters look great on all our sock options. These styles are favorites of our customers too!

SS: Can you tell me about your NEW Pillowprintz shop?

S&P: Our Pillowprintz shop came about after having success printing personalized sorority socks! We thought, “How fun would custom pillowcases be?” and voilà, Pillowprintz was created to highlight our pillowcase products. We’re always adding fresh new designs ready to be personalized. Some designs are exclusive for our sorority pillowcases and others match our socks.

While the printing process allows us to print with millions of colors, we’ve had fun printing a black and white pillowcase for a DIY craft project idea. Using fabric markers purchased at a craft store, our pillowcases can be colored in to match your sorority or bedroom colors. This craft project is great for Big and Little sisters, chapter retreats, and they make great gifts!

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SS: What’s new on the horizon for 2015?

S&P: We are adding a new sock silhouette that allow for a pattern to be fully print all over the socks. We look forward to showcasing this sock with lots of ideas including photo collages and wild & crazy patterns. It’s a new concept and we are really excited about it!

Look for Sockprints and Pillowprintz in more retail outlets in 2015! We sell to university bookstores and Greek shops across the country. If you don’t see us at your local retail store, ask the manager to carry our socks and pillowcases! 

☀ FIND & SHOP SOCKPRINTS: 

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https://www.facebook.com/sockprints

http://www.pinterest.com/sockprints

http://sockprints.blogspot.com/ 

https://twitter.com/sockprints

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☀ FIND & SHOP PILLOWPRINTZ:

https://www.etsy.com/shop/PillowprintzOnEtsy

https://twitter.com/pillowprintz

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☀ ☀ ☀ ☀ ☀ ☀ ☀ ☀ ☀ ☀ ☀ ☀ ☀ ☀ ☀

Sweet on ΑΔΠ Sayings:

  • Diamonds are Forever!
  • Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend
  • Throw Your Diamond’s in the Sky, Let em’ know you’re ADPi 
  • Keep Calm & Get Your Diamond On
  • Get It Right - Blue & White 
  • It’s Hard to be Humble When You’re Queen of the Jungle 
  • In 1851 We Invented the Sorority. You’re Welcome. 
  • The First, the Finest & We Ain’t Lion
  • I Wanna Wear White & Blue and Wear That Diamond Too
  • She’s One of the Finest, She’s a Woman of Alpha Delta Pi
  • Get Your Diamond On
  • You Had Me at ΑΔΠ
  • AIN’T NΔ OΠE LIKE US
  • Hear Comes the Boom <> Boom
  • Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Kiss an ΑΔΠ and Your Dreams Will Come True

❀  from: Sayings By Chapter for the 26 NPC Sororities