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Hello! I'm a freshman and the university of Tennessee and I just recently finished rush! I'm in a chapter that's just right for me and I couldn't be happier. I would always read your blog the weeks leading up to recruitment and it really prepared me for one of the most exhausting weeks of my life! Thank you for everything!

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❤ CONGRATS & THANK YOU so much!!! I know rush is tough and I am sooooooo happy things worked out for you! Welcome to greek life and enjoy every minute!! ❤

I was a legacy for another sorority, but was cut from them after the first round. I couldn't be happier where I ended up, but is there a reason for them cutting me other than not liking me? Your tumblr has helped me so much! Thank you!

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CONGRATS on going greek!!! I’m glad everything worked out in the end. It’s very odd that a chapter would cut a legacy in the first round. The only reasons I can think of are these ~ 

  • Maybe your legacy wasn’t what they consider a legacy. For example some sororities will accept cousins and others do not. 
  • Possibly your close relative actually dropped out of the chapter at some point and you were not aware. There could have been some “issue” with your relative’s status. For example, your deceased grandmother was a XYZ a long time ago and no one knew she disaffiliated in the last semester of her senior year. But when the chapter checked their membership archives, there was no record of her.
  • Maybe some other factor like your GPA overwhelmed your legacy status. If you were far below the chapter’s required level, maybe that beat out the legacy consideration. 
  • It’s possible the chapter on your campus didn’t get your legacy information from your PNM registration. That seems unlikely, but it could have been on oversight. Unless you talked about it with the sisters, they may have missed that piece of information. 
  • Some sororities don’t give any guaranteed ask backs to legacies. That’s not the norm, but I believe not all chapters ask legacies back for additional rounds if they don’t see a match. Your legacy chapter could have that policy.

Also, don’t think that the sororities who cut you "didn’t like you!" There are many, many PNMs who sororities really like, but due to the high numbers of rushees they have to cut some. Rarely do chapters not like PNMs. Most of the girls are super sweet and really nice. It’s difficult and painful for chapters to make cuts. Just so you know! 

For other PNMs reading this ~ if something ODD like this happens to you, like being cut from your legacy chapter on the first day, please bring it to the attention of your Rho Gamma/Gamma Chi ASAP. That’s what she’s there for. You can at least ask about why something unusual happened during recruitment. She may not be able to tell you much, but if it’s a legitimate error, it could be corrected before rush ends. Speak up if something doesn’t seem right. Most chapter actions are totally out of your control, but you will sleep better at night if you inquire about a very unusual occurrence. It’s Ok to ask your Recruitment Counselor about things that just don’t seem right. xoxo ;)

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my freshman year I wanted to be in this sorority so bad, but I didn't get a bid from them. after bid day was over, I got contacted by one of the members and they told me I "slipped through the cracks" and should've been in the sorority. (what does that even mean??) My sophomore year I rushed again & made it into the sorority. But I know there were girls who had voted me 'no' during voting but I still got in. Is it weird that i sometimes feel like i don't belong because of those girls?

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I am sorry you had so much trouble going greek! The first attempt sounds really odd. But at least you ended up pledging. Some sororities require a unanimous vote for each PNM and others don’t. The fact that you didn’t get 100% of the votes does not make your membership any less valid. I’m sure there are many sisters who are in the same situation. If your sorority has majority rule, or a committee votes on the new members, it’s totally Ok. That’s the policy in your chapter, so there is nothing to feel bad about. 

That said, you should NOT have been told specifics about your vote for receiving a bid! That was confidential and happened when you were a PNM. That kind of “insider” info would make any sister feel uncertain and insecure. it does not need to be shared. I hope you tell your chapter leadership about how this knowledge makes you feel. The policy of telling new members who did & who didn’t vote for them should be changed for other PNMs joining. No one needs to know about their own vote. Or how many sisters were against you. Yikes! That’s no way to feel safe and loved inside your sorority. Please see what you can do to implement a CHANGE, so this doesn’t happen to another girl. 

But since that’s the way your chapter votes, then you must accept it and not allow any weird feelings to get in the way of your happiness. Put the “how” you pledged aside and focus now on all the ways you can experience the best of our sorority. Don’t look back any longer. It doesn’t matter if you squeaked by, or had a landslide of votes. You are IN and proud and you have so much to offer.

This fall start doing things for your sorority which make you feel better about belonging. Prove you are a valuable asset to your organization. Not just for the sake of your sisters, but to prove your value and superior skills to yourself. They are LUCKY to have you. Now make your remaining years in the chapter really count for something! It’s your time and your life! xoxo :)”

"Each of us makes his own weather, determines the color of the skies in the emotional universe which he inhabits." ~ Fulton J. Sheen