sorority sugar

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I'm really scared about meeting my big. I'm scared she won't like me, which is silly I know. but I see so much big/little loving that I feel like it just won't happen! help?

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I am sure you will be paired with a big who loves and wants you for a little. It’s very unlikely that you will be matched with a reluctant big sister who doesn’t care about you! The odds of that happening are slim to none. The more likely scenario is that you have seen so much big/little loving online, that your standards will be sky high! 

I strongly advise you to keep your expectations in control. Extreme expectations for a magical over-the-moon big/little relationship is difficult for any mere moral big to live up to. If you are anticipating 500 splashy gifts and crafts, and all you get is a cupcake and a picture frame you are setting yourself up for disappointment in a major way. Please enjoy all the big/little sugar on my blog, but when the time comes for your “real life” friendship give your new big a chance.

A kind, sweet sister is all you need for a meaningful big/little experience. And that’s what you should be in return. Don’t measure your big’s worth by the number of gifts she gives or how much money she spends. If you bond with a high quality sister, who you enjoy and who has your back, it means more than 20 tee shirts. When you join a sorority, BE the best new member you can, and you will attract a superior big. Every relationship takes two. So be likable, loyal, decent and giving. You should get the same in return! xoxo :)

"Getters don’t get—givers get." ~ Eugene Benge

sorority Q&A: struggling to stay a sister…

Q: I’ve had a lot of small problems in my NPC sorority lately and I just am not feeling the sisterly love anymore. I’ve seriously considered disaffiliating, but I’m not sure about the consequences, or even the process. Any advice or help would be much appreciated! Thank you.

A: DON’T DO IT!  You will regret it later almost 100% guaranteed. The “loving feelings” ebb and flow over the years. Membership is a marathon, not a sprint. Just like in a romantic relationship, you are not going to hear birds singing every day. There are dull periods, bright periods, sad periods and everything in between. You don’t throw in the towel because the glow has dimmed. Small problems are not worth the pain of permanent disaffiliation and loosing your bonds forever.

The consequences in most chapters are permanent and irreversible. No more college greek life, no alumnae benefits, no legacy status for your daughter one day, etc… It goes way beyond your immediate issues. You must take the long view on this. Your decision today will effect the rest of your life as a former greek. 

I strongly advise that you find another outlet for your talents and put some healthy distance between you and the sisters who are irritating you. There are ways to step back without leaving the chapter completely. Join some other clubs, study abroad, make new friends outside your sorority, get involved with the Panhellenic Council, take an interesting internship, work a part time job ~ anything to gain a fresh outlook and a new perspective. Sometimes sisters get stuck in a rut and you just need a kick start in a new direction. You can maintain your status, and save all that you have invested, while you explore NEW experiences on campus.

Also consider taking a new little this fall, to give yourself a renewed sense of spirit. Every recruitment is a new dawn and an opportunity to rekindle your chapter pride. Seek out sisterly friendships with the “nice” girls and push your troubles aside. When you look back one day, you won’t regret staying in your sorority, but you will regret it if you leave. I know you can find away to make it work! xoxo <3 ;)

"Commitment unlocks the doors of imagination, allows vision, and gives us the "right stuff" to turn our dreams into reality." ~ James Womack

I was interested in rushing Phi Sigma Pi, the national honor fraternity, but I am already a member of a Panhellenic sorority. Phi Sigma Pi has their own philanthropy and they have formals, etc. Would joining an academic frat be very time consuming especially because I'm already in a sorority? Would it be okay if I joined but focused on my sorority during Greek week and other Greek events?

Asked by

It IS possible to belong to both groups, it’s all about how much time you have. You will have mandatory obligations with both greek organizations, plus your classes, plus any internships or employment and a few hours for socializing. As long as you are skilled at time management, you can juggle all of these things.

With a busy calendar there will be some sacrifices and conflicts though. You may have to miss a meeting to attend big/little reveal. Or miss one formal because you are committed to a big fundraiser that same night. When you have multiple memberships, there are bond to be scheduling challenges. "Doing it all" means accepting that you will miss some events along the way. Confirm the time commitment needed for the honor fraternity before you join, think about your lifestyle and see if you can balance everything. You still want to honor your sorority promises and not be stretched so thin that you falter in your endeavors. Be the best you can be in all areas! xoxo ;)

"If a task is once begun, never leave it till it’s done. Be the labor great or small, do it well or not at all.” ~ Anon

big/little problems: little sister personality changes…

Q: So I have one little who’s been in the sorority for almost a year. We started off really close and then after initiation she became weird, rude and distant. Now everyone loves her and I feel like the black sheep of my organization. Should I go forward and try to get another little, or just deal with the fact that the only little I wanted and have hates me?

A: Your little’s personality sounds like a roller coaster! First she was sweet and nice, then mean and then nice again with the rest of your chapter. Very hot and cold. College is an emotional time and many girls go through dramatic changes during these years. Maturing, being away from home and stresses from academics take a toll on some people. Your little may be having some difficult times emotionally.

But if she has now gotten back on track, and is being pleasant again, then you should forgive and forget. At least pretend to put the “bad days” behind you. You can join the rest of your sorority in loving her once more. Smooth things over, don’t hold a grudge and become united again with her and your other sisters. Getting yourself if a good place with everyone else should be your first priority! 

As for taking another little, you can do that even if you’re not having problems with little #1. A new member without all the baggage may be just what you need. Maybe you can find a darling little candidate this fall. Look for someone down to earth, positive and easy going! No more drama. Patch things up with your original little (at least moderately) and think about bonding with a new sister who will be a breath of fresh air. I think you can do both! xoxo :)

In response to the girl asking about transferring- I was in the exact situation. I went to a school far away (and rushed) kinda always knowing I would eventually go home. I just wanted to stress that this isn't a good mindset to go into college with- you could absolutely love your new school! That being said I did end up transferring and affiliating into the new chapter and absolutely love that chapter as if I originally pledged it. There are successful transfer stories so just wanted to share!

Asked by

Fantastic! Transferring can be stressful and full of uncertainties. I am very happy that your college journey was a good one and your transfer chapter was a perfect match. Very encouraging! xoxo ;)

sorority Q&A: what about local sororities…

Q: I am a new sister of a local sorority in NYC. I love it!!! My sisters are amazing!! :D I just want to know, what are your thoughts on local sororities? — runsawaywithfate17

A: I think wherever you find love and friendship ~ it’s 100% wonderful to me!! Local sororities serve a need on many campuses. And they bring lots of warmth to their members, especially in “smaller” greek communities. Large panhellenic chapters are not for everyone. If a local chapter has traditions, rituals and sisterhood good times ~ then it’s all good. No matter how large an organization is, the sisters you deal with face to face are the ones which directly effect your life. Not some distant sisters across the country. Personal satisfaction is all that really matters.

Of course their are many benefits to a nationwide organization too. But greeks of all sizes and styles are tops on my book. When a PNM and a sorority match ~ the chapter can be small, large, national, local, NPC, multicultural, academic, religious, or special interest. Seize the best opportunity available and enjoy every minute. To each sister her own! xoxo :)

"We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity.” ~Edith Lovejoy Pierce

Hey! I have a question. I am not part of a sorority nor will I be part of one (the Greek system doesn't exist in my country), however I am fascinated by it. If a "pledge" doesn't get into any sorority, can she try once more the following year? Does it happen often? I only know what I see in the movies (some portray Greek life terrible, others make sororities more real, according to what I see in tumblr), is there rivalry between sororities within colleges? sort of like in the movies?

Asked by

"Real" sorority life is not much like the movies at all. Sometimes the parties are crazy at college, but there is lots of normal day-to-day living in sorority houses than what you see in the media. It’s much more about sisterhood, crafting, retreats, studying and some socializing too. Most campus leaders are in greek life. They are students who are going places and doing things. Not the crazy types you see in movies.

To answer your questions:

  • If a PNM accepts a bid to a sorority, “pledges” and then drops out, yes she can rush again a year later. If she drops out of recruitment before bid day, then she can rush again sooner. Only after initiation, are the doors closed to other options.
  • It is rare that a PNM goes all the way through rush week and ends up totally empty handed. It does happen, but it’s not the norm.
  • Yes, there is competition between sororities, especially during recruitment, when they’re all trying to attract the best PNMs. Chapters also compete in sports and other events. So yes, there are some rivalries. But usually each chapter is different enough, that they don’t compete head to head in every way. 

xoxo ;)

To the person asking about Greek life in the North, Penn State has one of the largest Greek systems in the country, and it's continually ranked one of the best Greek systems as well! As a Penn State Greek myself, if anyone has any further questions about it, feel free to ask me!

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✰ TIPS for sorority marketing online & in-person! ✰

Q: I’m my chapter’s new marketing chair, so basically I’m in charge of social media and marketing our chapter to the rest of our school community, which is especially important for fall recruitment. It’s a new position in my chapter so I haven’t really had anyone really tell me what to do or how to do my job. Do you have any tips or advice? I also have a small budget to spend on Marketing and I’m not sure what to spend it on!

A: Marketing is becoming more and more popular with sorority chapters. For ease, break it down into two categories ~ electronic and in-person. Below are some examples of things to become involved in to promote your chapter to other greeks, your college community and PNMs. Some things don’t cost anything but time. I would spend the budget on promotional give-aways, tent & tabling equipment, displays, a quality banner, and other visual necessities.  


 Chapter Marketing ONLINE: ✰

  • A chapter website updated annually. 
  • A page or listing on the Panhellenic Council/Greek Life portal on the University website.
  • Listing and information on the Panhellenic Council website.
  • Listing and information in the Recruitment Handbook.
  • Chapter Facebook page updated regularly.
  • Chapter Tumblr blog with creative photos of your sisterhood.
  • Chapter Instagram with occasional photos.
  • Chapter Twitter with membership & recruitment announcements.
  • Inclusion in any campus-wide websites or social media where you can reach non-greeks too. 
  • Submit photos and content to your National organization to be included on their social media and magazine.
  • Interact with your National facebook page. 
  • Make contact with local media, to get your sorority noticed in the community for your big fundraiser or gala event. 
  • Consider a electronic newsletter for your chapter through a site such as Constant Contact. 
  • Maintain several chapter email date bases for communicating with other chapters, members and PNMs.
  • Update your sorority graphics and social media images. Make an attractive Facebook cover photo, Tumbler icon and  ”go greek” designs. Get creative! Browse the sorority sugar blog and Instagram for ideas.
  • Encourage your members to personally promote the chapter online, be guest bloggers, pin photos on Pinterest, post photos on Facebook and become individual social media ambassadors for the sorority. 


 Chapter Marketing In-Person: 

  • Host a display table at any/all Freshman Preview events. 
  • Hold open houses when other chapters do.
  • Be a part of Freshman Orientation. 
  • Volunteer to help with Move In Days (in your greek shirts).
  • Host a display table at Meet the Greeks.
  • Host a “give-away” table on campus several times a year where you give away donuts, popcorn, or cookies for positive PR.
  • Partner with the Dorms on spreading chapter information.
  • Advertise in the school newspaper, magazine and other campus publications. 
  • Join the Panhellenic Council in advertising in the Alumnae Magazine. 
  • Organize highly visible fundraisers that create buzz and get noticed. Include all students in raffles and contests. 
  • Volunteer for campus-wide events, serving as ushers or helpers in your greek apparel.
  • Hand out promotional materials like sorority pens, stickers, decals, buttons, magnets, plastic sunglasses, foam fingers, etc…
  • Wear sorority buttons for tailgating and game days.
  • Purchase a sorority tent with your chapter name printed on it for tabling events. 
  • Freshen your large lawn letters with new paint. Display them at every opportunity.
  • Update your chapter apparel and make sure everyone is maintaining sorority standards while in their greek letters. 
  • Attend sporting events and competitions in your chapter apparel. 
  • Wear your letters on campus every Wednesday.
  • Extend an open invitation to alumnae to participate in chapter activities and help spread the word about everything your sorority does. Enlist them to spread positive word of mouth. 
  • Make announcements on the campus radio or TV station. 
  • Partner with other greek chapters on fundraisers to elevate your profile. 
  • Hand out flyers and/or treats where female students congregate on your campus, or around campus. Don’t forget the favorite off-campus hang-out spots.
  • Hang banners and signs where your target audience will see them. 
  • Host bake sales, holiday sales and other small events throughout the year to keep your name visible. 
  • Get local sponsors for your next philanthropy fundraiser and include their logos on your event tee shirts and banners. Share the shirts with your community partners. 
  • Always have sorority promotional favors ready to hand out at every luncheon, event, or project. Give them to your charity partners as well. 
  • Have a presence at greek sporting events and fly your sorority flag proudly. 
  • Accept social invitations from other greeks and ATTEND, Keeping your social obligations and being involved in the greek community is very important for your chapter reputation. Isolation is not viewed favorably by other chapters. 
  • Support fraternity events and cheer them on.
  • Compete in greek week, greek sing, lip-sync, marathons, etc…
  • Establish a roster of member’s High Schools. Use the HS list to network with incoming freshman who might be qualified PNMs. Use your sister’s connections to their best advantage. Same goes for alumnae. 
  • Work with your members who are Campus Reps to hold trunk shows at your sorority house. Welcome all shoppers warmly. Invite non-greeks too. 
  • Partner with your local Lilly Pulitzer store (or other favorite dress shop) for a girl’s shopping event. Invite non-greeks and/or other sororities.
  • Capitalize on your philanthropy connections and the national marketing they can offer. Make sure your volunteering is publicized as well as your fundraising. Tap into any PR resources your charities have. 
  • Utilize your national headquarters’ publicity connections as well. Get your Advisor involved with your new marketing efforts.
  • Partner with your Panhellenic Council on some marketing efforts to save money. If all the chapters participate, everyone spends less.
  • Encourage individual members to represent the sorority when they are serving as campus tour guides, working in the book store, attending club meetings, singing in the choir, playing sports, cheerleading, serving in student government, competing in pageants and everything else they do outside the chapter. Each activity is a chance for positive chapter promotion. 

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Links to MORE helpful sorority PR/Marketing posts:

•  Top 20 ways to Promote Going Greek!

•  Top 10 Sorority Public Relations Tips!


❉ 101 sorority recruitment conversation starters! ❉

Suddenly you are face to face with a girl you’ve never met before. Now what? Start your recruitment conversations with some of these creative questions and avoid the dreaded "What’s your major?" cliché!


❉ 101 creative conversation questions for sorority sisters to ask PNMs: ❉

  1. Finish this sentence: “Someday, I’m going to be the first person in the world to…”
  2. What do you like to do to relax?
  3. What is the first thing you do when you wake up?
  4. What is the last thing you do before you go to sleep?
  5. What is your favorite day of the week?
  6. Do you know what your your name means? What would you like it to mean?
  7. What was your favorite children’s book?
  8. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
  9. What was your least favorite subject in high school?
  10. If you had $10 million dollars, would you still be going to college?
  11. What is the first thing you notice about another girl?
  12. Who was the last person you texted?
  13. What was the last photo you posted on Instagram/Facebook?
  14. What was your worst vacation experience?
  15. What is your favorite pizza topping?
  16. What is your favorite meal of the day?
  17. What was the worst movie you’ve ever seen?
  18. What type of music do you like to listen to?
  19. What is the best piece of advice you’ve received?
  20. Who do you look up to?
  21. What is your proudest moment?
  22. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
  23. Are you a coffee or tea person?
  24. Are you a cat or dog person?
  25. What would you do if you only had 24 hours left to live?
  26. What is the best thing that happened to you during the past week?
  27. What is your favorite board game?
  28. What is your favorite charity?
  29. What are some of your short-term goals?
  30. What are some of your long-term goals?
  31. What is your favorite restaurant?
  32. Are there any foods that you will absolutely not eat?
  33. What’s your favorite social media?
  34. What blogs or websites do you like?
  35. What’s your favorite city?
  36. If you could have only one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?
  37. What’s your favorite kind of candy?
  38. If you could only own 5 things, what would they be?
  39. Would you rather be rich or famous?
  40. Do you believe in Santa?
  41. Could you live without the internet?
  42. What’s your ultimate vacation?
  43. If you could be famous for a week, what would you want to be known for?
  44. If someone changed you into an animal, what would you be?
  45. What would you do if you could wear an invisibility cloak?
  46. What’s the weirdest thing about the town where you grew up?
  47. If you could teleport right now, where would you go?
  48. What’s the most unlikely thing you did this week?
  49. When and where were you the happiest in life?
  50. What’s your perfect day?
  51. What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?
  52. Would you rather ___ or ___? For example: Would you rather give up your cell phone for a month or give up your boyfriend for a month?
  53. If you found $100, what would you do with it?
  54. Is there a time when you were bold?
  55. What is the most caring thing you have done?
  56. What’s your favorite family tradition?
  57. What are you most grateful for?
  58. What is your ideal best friend like?
  59. What is your worst habit?
  60. What is the most thoughtful thing someone else has done for you?
  61. What makes you laugh?
  62. Who has been the biggest influence on your life?
  63. If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be?
  64. How do you want to impact our campus in the next year?
  65. If you went back in time 200 years and you could only take 3 things with you, what would you bring?
  66. If you could be one age for the rest of your life, what age would you be?
  67. What would the title of your autobiography be?
  68. If you started your own charity, who or what would it help?
  69. What is the best compliment you’ve ever received?
  70. What is the greatest song ever written?
  71. What is the one thing you couldn’t live without?
  72. How would you describe yourself to someone who has never met you? Like me!
  73. Do you have a favorite piece of clothing? 
  74. What one word would you use to describe yourself?
  75. What school subject do you think helps you the most in every day life?
  76. What’s something you love to do and haven’t done in awhile because you were too busy?
  77. Can you describe a day you’d like to live over and over again?
  78. Do you have a favorite book or movie love story?
  79. Who is the person you trust the most?
  80. If you could have a character from a book as your best friend, who would it be?
  81. What 3 words would you use to describe your family?
  82. Do you like to study in silence, or with background noise/music?
  83. What is your greatest talent or ability?
  84. Where do you think you will live after graduation?
  85. What do you daydream about?
  86. What qualities does your mom have, that you also have?
  87. If you wrote a newspaper article about your life, what would the headline be?
  88. If you were a fruit, what would you be?
  89. What is the most surprising thing that happened to you in the past year?
  90. What’s the most beautiful place you’ve ever seen?
  91. Do you think your name suits you?
  92. Who is your favorite fairytale character?
  93. What was the last thought you had before doing to sleep last night?
  94. If snow could fall in any flavor you choose, what flavor would it be?
  95. If you were queen of the world, what would you do?
  96. What is your favorite Halloween costume?
  97. If you traveled into space, what would you miss most on Earth?
  98. What do you do to recharge after a long day?
  99. Has a wish you made ever come true? 
  100. If you could have any zoo animal as a pet, what would you pick?
  101. What is your favorite type of weather?

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 Links to MORE questions for sorority members to ask PNMs: 

• 33 Questions to ASK PNMs

• 25 Interesting Questions to Ask PNMs During Rush

• Big/Little Speed Dating Questions {good for PNMs & sisterhood socials too!}

HELP!! College apps come out in a week and I know I want to go south and join a sorority but idk which schools to look into. Any suggestions?

Asked by

Almost every college in the south is going to have a super strong greek community! You really can’t go wrong if that’s what you’re looking for. Big schools and smaller schools all have popular chapters. Across the region, these are some of the biggest and most active sorority systems:  

  • University of Texas
  • SMU
  • TCU
  • Baylor
  • Texas A&M
  • U of Arkansas
  • Arkansas State 
  • LSU
  • Ole Miss
  • U of Alabama
  • Auburn
  • U of Tennessee
  • Tennessee State 
  • UGA
  • Georgia Tech
  • U of Florida
  • Florida State 
  • Clemson
  • U of South Carolina
  • UNC 
  • U of Kentucky
  • UVA
  • Vanderbilt
  • Mississippi 
  • Mizzou {SEC school}

This is just a partial list! All of the southern public universities and state schools are going to have an active greek life. The south’s middle and small colleges do to. For example, The College of Charleston and Elon are smaller campuses, but they also have involved greeks. So whatever kind of college you are looking for in the south, they will have the sorority experience you want. The SEC schools are the largest and most competitive when it comes to recruitment. xoxo ;)

I was just wondering if you have any suggestions for getting members more involved? It seems like some sisters don't want to go to events or get to know the new members. This is frustrating to me and I want everyone involved!

Asked by

There are several ways to get sisters more involved. It boils down to pretty much three options:

  • Make the activites so fun and exciting that sisters are DYING to attend.
  • Use a points system where they earn bonuses and rewards for attending. 
  • Use a points system where sisters are effected negatively if they don’t attend. They have to pay fines or experience other unpleasant punishments. 

You can talk and talk, beg, plead and hope that sisters will cooperate, but many times they need some extra motivation. I think a combination of interesting activites and an accountability program is optimal! 

For example, if you want the chapter to engage with the new members, then plan a cool pool party & BBQ at an alum’s beautiful home. Your sisters are more likely to attend, than if you schedule a new member meet & greet in a lecture hall on campus. Please cater to your audience and entice them to do what you want. Careful planning and knowing what your sisters respond to really helps. xoxo :)

To learn more about a chapter Points System link here: 

Sorority 101: Setting Up a Points System!