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bad times on greek row…

Q: My charter just got revoked. I was on alum status when I found out the news. Now I’m wondering where do I go from here. Do I stop wearing the letters? When people ask what chapter I’m in can I still say it? And especially because I’m still attending campus and would like to wear my letters. Idk, I feel like people would gossip about it or something.

A: Oh no! I am super sorry to hear this bad news. I know you are in a difficult situation. I am assuming your national organization is still functioning and it’s only your particular chapter that was revoked. Under that assumption, you are still a member of your national organization I believe, even if your chapter has left campus. If you are a member for life, then you can still wear your greek letters. And if you are asked about your organization, you can respond with your greek name, not your chapter designation name. Or, you can say you were in the former XY chapter of ABC. I would probably leave the chapter name out of it and just identify yourself as an ABC greek. 

Now the issue comes down to wearing your letters on campus or not. I think you may need to ‘test the waters’ and see what happens. If it stirs controversy, or people ask too many questions, then you should let things cool off before wearing your greek sweatshirt to class. Time heals all wounds and pretty soon the gossip will die down. It might be wise to let some time go by before donning your greek apparel. Let memories fade a bit. But know that sooner or later, it will be Ok to wear your letters again.

Patience and healing is what you need right now. Always keep your pride and fraternal loyalty in your heart and head ~ even when you are not outwardly displaying your affiliation. If you act with honor and respect, that means much more than wearing a tee shirt! Even though your chapter had some unfortunate troubles, YOU can still be a shining example of what it means to be greek and act accordingly. They can close your chapter, but they can’t take the good things you’ve learned away from you. Cherish the best parts from your membership and move forward with the most positive attitude possible. xoxo ;)

"The greatest power is often simple patience." ~ E. Joseph Cossman

"Integrity is not a 90 percent thing, not a 95 percent thing; either you have it or you don’t." ~ Peter Scotese

♡ sorority Q&A: what is sorority life all about? ♡

Q: Could you explain what exactly it means to be in a sorority or what sororities do? ~ 

A: The Sorority experience means so many different things! I’ll try to list my top picks for what being in a sorority is all about! 

♡ Sorority Membership Means: ♡

  • Having sisters who watch your back and stand by you through thick and thin.
  • Joining an organization with decades of history, traditions and meaningful rituals. 
  • Pledging to be a part of something larger than yourself. 
  • Learning to be less self-centered, put other other sister’s feelings first and grow more giving through the years. 
  • Volunteering and fundraising for a worthy philanthropy. Changing the world in your own small way. 
  • Stepping up to leadership and making a difference within your chapter and campus wide. 
  • Having the best social life ever within the greek community. 
  • Bonding, uniting, trusting and sharing with a unique sisterhood of close friends. 
  • Vowing loyalty to the creed of your lifelong chapter. 
  • Achieving the highest standards in academics with support from your chapter. 
  • Uniting with the Panhellenic and partnering with members from all different chapters.  
  • Developing patience, tolerance, adaptability, reliability, kindness and generosity. 
  • Becoming the ultimate team player.
  • Making promises, taking vows of secrecy and learning to respect the confidential rituals of your chapter. 
  • Participating in lots of meetings, projects, events, trips, games and chapter operations.
  • Living together in the sorority house ~ the ultimate sisterhood experience.  
  • Singing, chanting, clapping , recruiting, hugging, screaming, decorating, talking, crafting, networking, competing, winning.
  • Growing your chapter size, spreading your mission statement, promoting your organization on campus. 
  • Working towards group goals and reaching them.
  • Respecting everything your organization stands for.
  • Wearing costumes, attending fraternity parties, dressing for formals, playing pranks, listening to serenades, holding candlelights and proudly displaying your greek letters everywhere. 
  • Living the principles deeply imbedded in the fiber of your sorority. 
  • Having a lifelong group of sisters who provide personal connections long after college graduation.
  • Connecting with older members through your alumnae and advisor programs. 
  • Being super busy, very active and always on the go. Lots of responsibilities and requirements in greek life.
  • Wearing pretty fashions, dressing up, looking your best and being well groomed from head to toe. 
  • Supporting your organization through paying dues, purchasing chapter apparel, donating to fundraisers and more.
  • Displaying your sorority badge with pride and valuing what it stands for. 
  • Sacrificing for the good of the chapter, putting in extra hours, cleaning up after a big event, painting banners and lawn letters, staying up all night crafting, going the extra mile for your sorority when needed most.
  • Feeling a strong bond with the past, the present and the future of your sisterhood.  

♡ This list just begins to cover all the meaningful aspects of going greek! It’s a one of a kind experience. In the end, it’s best to RUSH and discover the fun & excitement for yourself! ♡

Hi! I am a pledge at one of the 26 major sororities at my university and I know this girl in my pledging class. She is the sweetest girl I know and she can't afford a pin. I recently got a some money back from my Costco and American Express cards and I have enough to buy two pins. My parents pay for college and everything. But my sorority won't let me buy her a pin. I asked and they refused Should I do it anyway? She deserves a pin, But I could be kicked out. Should I take the risk anyway?

Asked by

That is very sweet of you to want to help your pledge class sister. I worry about her finances though, if she can’t afford the most “basic” no-frills pin, then how will she pay for all the other sorority expenses? Dues cost much more and are reoccurring over 4 years. I think your friend really needs to evaluate her future with the chapter and work out a budget ASAP. 

As for your generous offer to purchase a badge, you could have avoided all this trouble by just gifting the money to your fellow pledge privately and then she buys her own pin. If you had quietly given her the cash, no one would have known and there would have been no conflict. But you cannot directly buy her the pin, period. You should not get in trouble with your sorority and begin your new membership on a sour note. The badge is ultimately each girl’s responsibility. DO NOT jeopardize your own membership over this issue! Please don’t martyr yourself because another girl doesn’t have the resources for a pin. She could babysit, sell something on eBay, sell some clothes to a re-sale shop, borrow the money from family, or do something else to raise the funds needed. 

Since the ‘cat’s out of the bag’ about your intentions, if you now secretly give her the money, the chapter may be suspicious and you will have to trust that she never says anything about it. That is risky, since most secrets have a way of getting out. And it breaks the honor code that I am sure your chapter adheres to. At this point a private transaction is not possible, since you would have to deceive your sisterhood to make it happen. Better that you help your friend brainstorm ways to make some money for her future success in the sorority. The badge is just one of many obstacles for her. Look into every opportunity on campus and see if there isn’t some part time work that your sister can fit into her schedule. Her longterm future in greek life is what’s most important here. xoxo ;)

Hi! I'm a highschool student interested in rushing in a few years. I've seen pictures of new members of sororities and they seem to instantly become friends with their older sisters of their new sorority. How does a pledge begin make friends with their sisters or girls of their pledge class? Thanks! :)

Asked by

The BEST part of sorority membership is all the organization! This is especially nice for freshman, because greek life offers a very structured way to make friends. You don’t have to fend for yourself. There will be so many meetings, meals, activities, socials, retreats and sisterhood events, that you can’t help but bond with your new sisters. Your pledge class will do a lot together, you will be matched with a big sister and get to know your new family tree, there will be tons of fraternity parties, volunteering, fundraising, sporting events, etc… In fact there is so much happening in the greek community, most girls find it to be practically overwhleming. You will need to pace yourself. 

When you first join a chapter the sisters will all congratulate you on facebook, you will start being invited out, the meetings and parties start right away and you are instantly launched into the greek social swirl. It’s fun, exciting and never a dull moment. Making friends is one of the easiest parts of joining a sorority. Keeping those friendships on an even keel is the hard part! xoxo ;)

sorority Q&A: planning for 4 years in the future…

Q: As an Early Childhood Ed major, my last semester will be spent doing Student Teaching. In order to save money, my parents are making me do it from home and won’t let me travel the two hours each way from home twice a week just for chapter and study tables. Is there any way that I can become an “alum” early by a semester? I am only a freshman and I don’t wanna be in a sorority just to have to quit for my last semester of school. Would it be better to quit now?

A: If you are only a freshman and trying to plan for your last semester as a Senior, there is NO WAY you can predict where you will be so far down the road! Please don’t drop your sorority over the possibility of problems that may never develop. In the next four years these things could happen and much more: 

  • You could change your major completely.
  • Your parents could move to a totally new city. 
  • You could transfer universities.
  • You could get married and leave college. 
  • Your entire family structure could change.

Just to name a few life altering events that could take place and completely mix up your current plans. Cross the Student Teaching bridge when you get to it. Maintain your sorority membership and enjoy every minute. If you need an adjustment in membership status in the future, I’m sure your chapter will work with you. One semester will not ruin your entire collegiate record. It’s wise to plan, but don’f forfeit happiness today for an unlikely conflict that should be resolved easily when the time comes. xoxo ;)

"Don’t worry about the past and don’t try to solve the future." ~ Garrison Keillor

I'm a senior in high school and I'm really interested in rushing a sorority next year. Recently I've been looking at Panhellenic sororities at my university. From the pictures on there websites there don't seem to be any African American people in these groups at my college. I was just wondering if this common in all Panhellenic sororities and if it would be a problem for me to get a bid from them? I would love to be apart of a sorority and am hoping they will have me!

Asked by

ALL ethic groups, religions, nationalities, shapes & sizes of PNMs are welcome to NPC sorority recruitment with open arms. Making a match is about being compatible in personality, lifestyle, attitude, interests, academics and social life ~ not about skin color. Maybe there isn’t a large number of African American girls in the chapters you’re looking at, but unless you’ve seen every photo, I wouldn’t rule out the possibility that there are some black members. If you have not seen the entire sisterhood, you can’t know for sure. In my experience with viewing hundreds of sororities around the country, there is almost always a mix of skin colors. 

Some areas of the country have more members of one ethic group than another. For example in Southern California some sororities have more Asian members and other chapters have more Hispanic members. The region where you are attending college does have an influence on the racial mix on campus. Greek life reflects the population at the university. 

You might also check out the traditional African American sororities called the Divine Nine. They have a long and distinguished history of providing a wonderful sorority experience for many PNMs. Service and special interest sororities are even more options for you to look at. There are so many possibilities when it comes to finding a home in greek life. Let your heart lead you to where you feel the most welcomed and where you fit the best! If you click with a sisterhood they will not be concerned with your color! xoxo ;)

sorority Q&A: dealing with chapter self righteousness…

Q: In the last year or so, my chapter has gotten very touchy & self-righteous. Sisters are lecturing each other incessantly at chapter and elsewhere, and it’s really hurting overall morale. Exec is really causing a lot of this self-righteousness, and we need a morale boost, but I don’t know who to bring this issue up with, because of the irony of complaining about self-righteousness.

A: Self righteousness often creeps into an organization with lots of rules, like a sorority or a church. Some members start to think they are better and more rule abiding than the others. They may honestly feel that they do more for the chapter and therefore care more than anyone else. That leads to lecturing other sisters with a ‘holier-than-thou’ attitude. Not very pleasant for the members who are made to feel unworthy.  

It seems like power has gone to the heads of your e-board, and others, to the point where they think they are more virtuous that the rest. As you noticed, this superior attitude will dampen everyone’s spirits. It is wrong to make others feel ‘less than’ and to elevate one’s self to being more angelic. It’s not wrong to bring up this bad trait and try to stop it. You are not being self righteous yourself, if you point out this negative situation and seek a solution. 

If you and a hand full of concerned sisters can address the e-board with some advisors and/or alums present I think that would be best. Approach the situation in the most professional way possible. With a caring attitude and a loving heart, you can bring forth your concerns. Give general examples of how the sisterhood is made to feel inadequate and depressed when they are lectured to “from on high.” Remind your chapter leadership that not everyone has the same sorority goals and commitment levels, most sisters are trying their best, how emphasizing the positive will get better results, etc… Present your list of exactly what you see going wrong and what can be changed to mend it. 

Maybe your chapter needs a positive Points System to keep track of member’s behavior ~ instead of annoying nagging by sisters. If you have a system in place for regulating attendance/participation, it takes the judgement away from fellow sisters. You need to take the personal and emotional element out of it. Replace the feelings with a non-emotional, practical plan. These are the points that probably need to be worked on in your chapter ~ 

  • Balancing the work load so some sisters don’t feel like martyrs   who do it all. Which leads them to being self righteous and looking down on others. Maybe you need more chairs and e-board positions to help shoulder the load, 
  • More recognition of the sisters who contribute a lot. If the ‘doers’ are patted on the back more, they will calm down a little. Plan more things like sister of the week, sister of the month, academic awards, volunteer awards, spirit awards ~ you name it! 
  • Emphasizing the positive more than the negative. There are always two ways to approach an issue. See if your chapter can use the carrot more than the stick. Beating people up doesn’t work. Encouraging and enticing them to action does work. 
  • Organize an impartial Points System that takes the personal judgment calls out of the equation. Standards issues should only be discussed in private, not at every chapter meeting. And attendance problems should be purely by the numbers on the Points Plan. 
  • Acknowledge your ‘general’ membership more often with treats, awards and surprises to elevate their moral and get them more involved. With better behavior, the lectures will be reduced. Entice everyone to attend meetings and events with happy themes, fun surprises and good times for all. The joy has slipped out of your chapter and it must be brought back. 

I hope you can bring these things up to your sorority and your sisters will agree that a change needs to take place. A new light needs to shine in your sorority house again. Your sisters hearts should be filled with expectation and happiness, not dread and fear. xoxo ;)

"Get around the right people. Associate with positive, goal-oriented people who encourage and inspire you." ~ Brian Tracey

"Shout praise, whisper blame. Sow encouragement, reap enthusiasm." ~ Michael Rawls

potential big sister interview questions!

Q: I recently became the New Membership chair in my sorority. In the past, we’ve had trouble with members taking littles and not making enough effort to get to know them, being pressured by family members to take a little before they were ready, not having enough littles for potential bigs, etc. Some people have even told their littles that they weren’t their first choice. I know some chapters have sisters apply to be bigs. How would this work? What questions should I ask potential big sisters?

A: It’s an excellent idea to make sure that bigs are ready and able to take a little before they commit. You see what happens when the process is taken lightly or misused. Sister’s feelings are at stake. What you need to determine is if a potential big is mentally ready to enter into an important big/little relationship. Just like “going steady”, a person must be prepared to take on the responsibilities of a committed partnership. 

You and a small committee could screen the big sister candidates, or have them fill out a questionnaire. I think a brief face to face interview would be best. You can then get a feeling for how sincere they are about becoming a big. Are they genuine? Will they treat the process with respect?

These are some potential questions you could use to screen the big candidates. Select the questions that you think are most appropriate. At the very least, it will get the girls thinking about the relationships they are entering into! 

Potential BIG interview questions: 

  • Why do you want to be a big sister?
  • Describe your ideal big/little relationship.
  • What makes you a stand-out potential big sister? 
  • How would you mentor your little?
  • Do you have the TIME available to attend big/little events, participate in clue week, reveal and spend one-on-one time with your little?
  • What characteristics do you look for in a little?
  • Do you feel comfortable with the financial obligations of being a big?
  • Are you interested in the ‘extras’ of being a big, like crafting, decorating and gift giving?
  • Will you promise to keep the big/little selection process confidential?
  • Describe your family line. How is your relationship with your own big and gbig?
  • How enthusiastic is your family line about reveal, family costumes, crafts and the whole big/little experience?
  • Do you see yourself as a role model for your little?
  • Have you gotten to know several new members well enough to select a compatible little? 
  • What can you offer a little beyond crafts and gifts?
  • Do you think our sorority big/little program is important? Why?
  • How would you counsel a little if she was having doubts about her membership?
  • Describe your true feelings for our entire sorority. 
  • If your little was having personal problems, how would you handle it? 
  • What would your ‘dream’ day/night be with your little? What would you do together?
  • Do you think opposites attract, or is having things in common more important? 
  • Do you have the longterm energy and patience to guide a little through several years of college?
  • Can you honestly say you are ready to take on the important responsibility of being a big sister?

✿ premier tier sponsor spotlight ~ Sorority Flowers! ✿

sorority sugar is thrilled to have SORORITY FLOWERS as the newest Premier Tier Sponsor!! They have a very interesting concept ~ the latest in super easy chapter fundraising. Order flowers and gifts for every occasion and raise money for your philanthropy at the same time. I recently interviewed the owner Tony Poston to learn more about this breakthrough idea! 


SS: How was the idea for Sorority Flowers born?

SF: Sorority Flowers stemmed from a conversation I had with a sorority member’s father during dad’s weekend. He wasn’t impressed by the yearly Basket Auction the sorority held to raise money for house improvements and for charity. He wanted to contribute, but knew there must be a better way. We chatted about my experience in Greek life with my current business, and began to toss around fundraising ideas. I’ve always been really involved with philanthropy, so I jumped on the chance to work with him.

The idea was that sorority women love flowers, he likes to buy his daughter flowers, and the average American buys several bouquets a year. So why not raise money while purchasing something people already plan to buy? We made connections with other executives and brought in a marketing expert and a floral expert as well. This led to a partnership with FTD, the largest network of florists there is. And so Sorority Flowers was launched! 

SS: How does the fundraising concept work for sororities? 

SF: The sorority has to “sign up” for the program to raise funds for their particular group. Sorority Flowers generates a custom 7-digit code that is used at every check out for the 10% discount & the 10% donation to charity. Registered members receive a plastic “membership card” in the mail (similar to a Costco card.) The philanthropy chair can also email a the sorority code to her sisters, put the chapter code on their Facebook page, text it, or publicize it anyway she wants. Anyone wanting to participate in supporting the chapter’s efforts can use the code. Parents, boyfriends, extended family, co-workers and friends can all use the chapter code, get 10% off their orders and raise funds for a good cause. Chapters can sign up on the website homepage ~


SS: Is the charitable donations program just for greeks?
SF: No, Sorority Flowers also fundraises for other worthwhile causes across the nation. For example the American Cancer Society is an organization we currently offer a code for. And raising funds doesn’t even necessarily have to be for a philanthropy! The program was designed for chapters to also earn money for chapter improvements like a new sign, a bathroom renovation, or sorority house repairs. Checks are generated and cut each month. 
SS: What are the greatest benefits of fundraising through Sorority Flowers? 
SF: The #1 benefit is raising money for a great cause while spending what you normally would on a product that’s going to make someone happy! The ease of it all, the quick turnaround (24 hour delivery), the large network of florists (thousands) and being so hassle-free are all terrific pluses to the program. This fundraiser is open 24/7, 365 days a year, and takes no extra work from your membership. Flowers and gift baskets are delivered worldwide for every occasion. A win-win for everyone involved! 
SS:  What non-floral gift do you like the best from your website?
SF: We have several really great food gift baskets perfect for college students! I really like the College Care Package, the Movie Night basket and lots of the candy and snack baskets. The ideal campus delivery for finals week and other special events. 

✿ Tell your friends and family about how they can support your sorority through SORORITY FLOWERS. Philanthropy chairs ~ register your chapter online NOW! It couldn’t be simpler and easier to earn 10% for your cause and get 10% off every order. FLOWERS are perfect for bid day, initiation, birthdays, rush decorations, socials, parties, luncheons, awards ceremonies, alumnae socials, founder’s day, greek gift giving, thank you’s, RIP, panhellenic occasions, membership recognition, new colonies, senior send-off, rituals and graduation ~ just to name a few!! 

FIND Sorority Flowers:


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Recently the behavior of one of my pledge sisters has started to worry both myself and other girls in my PC. She's been acting in a way that is ultimately self-destructive to both her reputation on our (very small) campus, our chapter's reputation, and her health. I was wondering if you had any suggestions for approaching her in a way that is constructive and loving, not judgmental? I love my sister and I just wan't what's best for her, and I don't want this to ruin our friendship.

Asked by

If you stage some sort of intervention, no matter how good intentioned, be prepared for some strain on your relationship. You can’t approach someone about their destructive behavior and worry about being judgmental at the same time. True and honest friends are caring and concerned in a positive way when it comes to their closest sisters. But often times the one acting out does not appreciate the constructive criticism. Your sister will probably get very defensive, no matter how loving your heart to heart talk is. But that’s the cost for doing the right thing! It’s worse to just stand by and do nothing.

Gather some of your pledge sister’s closed friends together and have a private, relaxed, happy get-together ~ that would set a non-threatening atmosphere for your discussion. You can start by saying you are worried about her and ask if anything is going on. Does she want to talk about it? Being curious and offering support is better than lecturing your sister on all the terrible things she’s doing. Please no ganging up on her, or wagging your fingers so to speak. Maybe with casual chatting, you can get to the bottom of what’s troubling her. Many new members just go “wild” in their first year and loose their self control. Hopefully you will be able to offer her a way back down to earth. She sounds like a girl who is lost. 

If In the end the “soft” approach doesn’t work, then enforcing your chapter’s standards is up to your executive board. One rogue sister can’t be allowed to ruin your sorority’s reputation on a small campus. That’s why each chapter has a set of standards which must be respected. First, try the kinder gentler method of reaching out. If that fails, then a more firm hand may be needed. I hope your sister has a wake up call and everything can get back to normal soon. xoxo ;)

What are some of the advantages/disadvantages of living in the house? Our house is relatively small and holds about 12 girls, and is open for whoever wants to live there!

Asked by

Living in the sorority house is the BEST!  It puts you into the center of all activity going on in the greek community. Rooming in your chapter headquarters on campus is a blast. You bond with your sisters even more, you have fun with other sororities/fraternities on greek row and it can’t be beat for having the total sorority experience! 

A downside might be living in close quarters with other girls, but you will probably be in a dorm or roommate apartment situation anyway. So why not go for the best sorority option instead? It may be for only one year, but it will be a very memorable year. xoxo ;)

How come some sororities consider paddles as hazing?

Asked by

It’s more of an “image” issue than anything else. They think is represents hazing from the past. To some chapters it might represent paddling a new member as part of her pledge period. But I don’t think that ever really happened in sororities decades ago. Maybe a hundred years ago fraternities misused paddles, but I personally never heard about sororities doing that. Yet the symbolism is too much for some chapters today and they want to be extra sensitive to hazing in even the slightest way. They see paddles as a negative symbol from the past. 

On the other side of the issue ~ crafting and giving paddles is a long time tradition in many greek organizations purely for showing big/little loving and creating sisterhood keepsakes. The paddle is the number one treasure from most member’s sorority days. To them it represents all happy things such as a big/little sister, important dates, the sorority symbols, crest, etc. It’s interesting how a single piece of wood can mean something so positive to one group and so negative to another. It’s all how you view an object and what meaning you attach to it. xoxo ;)

Is a sorority something you’ve always been interested in, but never got the chance to join because you were serving your country? Then Alpha Gamma Xi - just might be the military sisterhood for you! Devoted to community service and our fellow veterans and their families - AGXi is looking for strong, open minded women to join our ranks! Check out our new website and see what we are all about!
submitted by: coinscankill 

Is a sorority something you’ve always been interested in, but never got the chance to join because you were serving your country? Then Alpha Gamma Xi - just might be the military sisterhood for you! Devoted to community service and our fellow veterans and their families - AGXi is looking for strong, open minded women to join our ranks! Check out our new website and see what we are all about!

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