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sorority Q&A: is it better to pull back or reach out?

Q: I’ve been in my sorority for a year and in that year, I’ve met some really good friends, got close to my family, and become a leader in the chapter. However, since starting up again, my friends don’t come around as much, my family is split (my g-big is a Rho Gamma, my big works more, and my twin transferred), and no one appreciates what I do in my chair role. The only girls left are cliquey/unfriendly. Can I pull away a little this semester and focus on school, or should I stick it out?

A: Sorority membership is liking a flowing river. There are always changes in course, different seasons, ups and downs and new discoveries. You are on a journey down that river, not sitting in one place. Some semesters will be frustrating, some will be fascinating. People come and go. Sisters drop out, some transfer, they move off campus, they graduate and get full time jobs. If you base your contributions on what others are doing, it will be unsatisfying and confusing.

You should participate because YOU love your organization ~ even when things change. That’s called commitment. Giving back to your sorority should be based on what you feel you can GIVE, not who notices your greatness. If you are in leadership just for the applause, then your priorities need readjusting. 

You GET what you GIVE. You can certainly draw away and be less involved. But what will that bring you in return? Less connections, less bonding and less caring. The way to improve your experience when friendly sisters depart, is to reach out, not pull back. Find new friends within the chapter, take a new Little, volunteer for something you never thought you’d try. There are other ways to spice up your greek life, instead of hanging your head and slinking away in disappointment.

During some semesters you will become involved in other college activites. But make sure it’s because you really want to take an internship or study abroad ~ not because things are a little rough and you’re tempted to throw in the towel. xoxo ;)

"One may walk over the highest mountain one step at a time." ~ John Wanamaker

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” ~ Winston Churchill

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I am on the Executive Board of a local sorority, for the first time we have sisters studying abroad. We want to keep them involved but they are causing sister disputes and other issues. Do you have any ideas on how to handle and smooth out relations with these sisters?

Asked by

I have a post on staying connected with study abroad sisters and ways to welcome them back warmly: 

• 7 Ways to Stay Connected & Reconnect with Sisters Abroad

But your situation sounds like the absent sisters are stirring up trouble. I don’t understand why? They should be so busy abroad, they don’t have time to cause trouble back at the sorority. Maybe if you implement some more “formal” ways to stay in touch, it will cut down on the problems. If the sisters feel connected, remembered and included on a chapter level, hopefully they will calm down! Make them feel special instead of forgotten.

If things continue to be disruptive, your chapter may have to implement some ground rules about the type and frequency of contact. I guess you can’t stop sisters from communicating on a personal level, but I hope you can steer the abroad sisters in a more positive direction. xoxo :)

Please keep the Zeta Nu chapter of Delta Gamma in your thoughts and prayers. Member Rachel Pigott passed away Monday night in a car accident. Deepest sympathy to her sisters, friends and family. 

RIP ♥ Rachel Pigott ♥ ΔΓ ♥ Zeta Nu ♥ University of Montevallo

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May the blessings of love be upon you

May its peace abide with you

May its essence illuminate your heart

Now and forever more…

~ Blessing of Love and Peace