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bad times on greek row…

Q: My charter just got revoked. I was on alum status when I found out the news. Now I’m wondering where do I go from here. Do I stop wearing the letters? When people ask what chapter I’m in can I still say it? And especially because I’m still attending campus and would like to wear my letters. Idk, I feel like people would gossip about it or something.

A: Oh no! I am super sorry to hear this bad news. I know you are in a difficult situation. I am assuming your national organization is still functioning and it’s only your particular chapter that was revoked. Under that assumption, you are still a member of your national organization I believe, even if your chapter has left campus. If you are a member for life, then you can still wear your greek letters. And if you are asked about your organization, you can respond with your greek name, not your chapter designation name. Or, you can say you were in the former XY chapter of ABC. I would probably leave the chapter name out of it and just identify yourself as an ABC greek. 

Now the issue comes down to wearing your letters on campus or not. I think you may need to ‘test the waters’ and see what happens. If it stirs controversy, or people ask too many questions, then you should let things cool off before wearing your greek sweatshirt to class. Time heals all wounds and pretty soon the gossip will die down. It might be wise to let some time go by before donning your greek apparel. Let memories fade a bit. But know that sooner or later, it will be Ok to wear your letters again.

Patience and healing is what you need right now. Always keep your pride and fraternal loyalty in your heart and head ~ even when you are not outwardly displaying your affiliation. If you act with honor and respect, that means much more than wearing a tee shirt! Even though your chapter had some unfortunate troubles, YOU can still be a shining example of what it means to be greek and act accordingly. They can close your chapter, but they can’t take the good things you’ve learned away from you. Cherish the best parts from your membership and move forward with the most positive attitude possible. xoxo ;)

"The greatest power is often simple patience." ~ E. Joseph Cossman

"Integrity is not a 90 percent thing, not a 95 percent thing; either you have it or you don’t." ~ Peter Scotese

Elections are coming up for my chapter in a week. I'm running for president and was wondering if you had any advice? One of my biggest goals is to see my chapter become more visible to the Greek community, do you have any advice on that as well?

Asked by

YES I have several posts on running for office, giving speeches and other tips for leadership! Please visit my Frequently Asked Questions page and scroll down to the “Chapter Life” section. There you will find the links to all the posts on this topic. I hope the advice will be helpful. 

On making your chapter more visible, I always advise doing what the “strongest” chapters do. Paint large lawn letters, fly your chapter flag, wear your greek letters every Wednesday, create amazing table displays, participate in every greek event, socialize with other chapters, launch a new campus-wide fundraiser, become more involved in the panhellenic council, step up your PR, hang banners and signs, go all out for formal recruitment, encourage your members to be involved in other clubs on campus where they can serve as ‘ambassadors’ for your chapter, set-up your social media, win greek academic awards, compete on greek sports teams, etc!!

It’s ok to pattern your sorority after the ones who are hitting it out of the park when it comes to visibility and activites on campus. Your “image” needs to be bold and bright. If you put forth a consistent message through all of your visuals, from tee shirts to Facebook, your brand will start to be consistently established on campus. Use your chapter colors, letters, symbols and mascot to your advantage in every area. xoxo ;)

sorority Q&A: bringing a new chapter to campus…

Q: I just want to start off by saying I love your blog sooo much! I used to very briefly be a part of AOII but it became way too expensive for me. I had to drop because it’s very expensive at my university. However I feel like I belong in greek life though I can’t afford the Panhellenic.

I don’t want to join the service chapters on campus, I’m religious but don’t want to join the Christian one and don’t want to join the multicultural greek council. My options are to join a local one I don’t really want to join, OR I’ve been thinking about bringing Kappa Beta Gamma to my campus but it looks like soooo much work and I’m kind of intimidated by the whole process. And what if it doesn’t go well? I figure if the ‘local’ sorority on campus can have as many as 40 members, why wouldn’t ΚΒΓ? What do you think I should do? I like being a leader and stuff so I kinda wanna take the initiative for this. 

A: I think you are searching for the perfect sorority and a fairytail ending to your greek life story! But the grass is not always greener on the colony side. Bringing any new chapter to campus is a long shot, very hard work and there are no guarantees. You are welcome to investigate the possibilities and see if it’s even a project you can tackle. Maybe your target chapter, or another, already has plans to expand at your school. That would be the best possible news you could hear! It can take years to go through the organization and administration approval process to establish a new colony. Unless it’s already in the works, I wouldn’t hold my breath for making that happen in time for you to enjoy it.  

I believe you have very high standards and you are hoping a miracle will suddenly appear and save the day. Since time is flying by, I kindly suggest you reexamine the more reasonable options already available. If you soften your heart a little, you may find that one of the non-Panhellenic chapters are not so bad after all. Or, start working part time and summers, earn money for dues, and rush the NPC sororities once more. A fantasy solution may happen, but if you really want to be a part of greek life again, your odds are better with the established organizations right before your eyes.

Reevaluate what’s ultimately the most important deep in your heart. Then strive for your goal with extra work, or becoming more flexible. I know you can regain greek membership sometime soon, if you can compromise in some area of your life! xoxo ;)

I just wanted to get some advice for how to go about doing something. I am a member of KKG and absolutely love everything about my chapter and all of our members. Unfortunately I won't be returning to our campus next fall because I'm not in love with the university and don't want to be paying to live somewhere I'm not happy. I've only told my best friend from home who's also a member, but I was just wondering if you had any advice for telling our president and the rest of the chapter. Thanks!

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I’m sorry you can’t make it work where all of your sweet sisters attend school! I hope you can transfer to another KKG chapter at your new university and continue your greek life…….

If you want to be sensitive with your announcement, then you can pull the president aside and inform her of your plans in person (rather than a written notice). Then she might allow you a few minutes at the next chapter meeting to speak to your sisters as a group. Or, possibly there will be a sisterhood social, or other function, where you might say your goodbyes instead. Just talk from the heart, tell all of them how much they mean to you and how much you will miss them. It’s better to officially say your farewells, than to just “disappear” over the summer and never come back. Tears may be shed, but going through the separation process is preferred to just leaving. This is the polite and considerate thing to do if you are still on good terms with your chapter. 

If you can transfer, then you will also need to fill out your paperwork, be in contact with your new chapter and make the arrangements for a membership transfer. I hope your new location will suit you better, you will find a sisterhood you love and the rest of your college days will be happy. Best of luck with your new adventure! xoxo ;)

Do you know what the largest chapter of any sorority in the country is? I've heard rumors but would love to know for sure!

Asked by

I can’t say that I know the single largest chapter in the country! If any followers can confirm this fact ~ please reply or write in. ;)

sorority Q&A: different new member standards…

Q: Is it normal for delta phi epsilon to not have a candidate process? The university I go to has only two sororities on campus and the sorority I am in has to go through a candidate process to become sisters. We’re also not allowed to wear our letters or use our hand signs until we become initiated whereas their already considered sisters, are able to wear letters, etc. I don’t know much about them or their processes. 

A: Every sorority has a slightly different standard of what’s acceptable during the new member period. Some allow wearing greek letters on bid day forward, others restrict it to wearing everything but the sorority crest, and some chapters are quite protective of their chapter symbols until after initiation. In the past most sororities kept some things “off limits” until initiation, but in an effort to combat any hint of hazing, the rules have been loosened in most chapters.

Your sorority sounds more traditional and the DPhiE chapter is more progressive. I’m sure the DPhiE new members still have to learn chapter history and meet some ‘private’ requirements as pledges or candidates as you call them. You don’t know what they’re doing behind the scenes within their own chapter since you are a member of the other sorority. Outwardly they are participating as fully initiated sisters, but privately they probably have to accomplish a few educational requirements in order to be initiated.

With the extra sensitivity to inclusion, some chapters go to great lengths to make pledges feel 100% part of the sisterhood from day one. I can see both sides of the issue. I prefer some things to be “earned” through the special rites of initiation, but I also understand the philosophy of “all-in” from day 1. To each her own! Enjoy the specialness of your own organization and know that you have achieved something amazing by following all the traditions of your particular chapter. xoxo ;)