How do family names get started? Next year I will be taking a little, but my big and GBIGG are still in the house. We have matching letters, a family drink, a family song, and family colors but no family name! Do I just invent one when I get my little or does it have to come from the top of the line?
i would suggest that you, your big and gbig put your heads together and come up with a clever name! it should be a joint decision, since you are all still active. you already have so many special traditions in your family line, why not make it totally official with a cute name? do the naming before you take a little, so the new sister can be welcomed into the “_____” family from the very beginning. have a brainstorming session before you leave campus for the summer, and you will be all ready for next year! xoxo ;)
Q: I am going abroad next spring (my junior year) and my Gbig keeps guilting me about missing my big’s senior spring and last events such as formal, senior sendoff, and graduation. I feel bad that I won’t be there during her last months at school, but we have never been that close, and I need to live my own life. What should I say to her comments about not being there for my big?
A: with the ever increasing popularity of spending a semester abroad, it means more & more sorority girls are missing important events at their chapter. it’s an unfortunate side effect of this college experience. some girls decide not to go away, because they don’t want to miss their chapter life. but it’s an individual choice for each student. your academic enrichment should come first and foremost.
right away, ask your gbig to please stop making those comments. talk to her in a friendly way and explain that you are really sad to go, but you can’t miss out on such a wonderful educational opportunity. tell her you will hate to miss all your big’s senior events and you are really torn up about it (even if your’e not - exaggerate a little). explain that her constant sniping makes it even more hurtful. appeal to her emotions and ask that she stop because it is such a sensitive subject.
also tell her ~ you DO have plans to celebrate your big’s spring semester from afar and you have some surprises in store! for example, send a special graduation video from abroad. mail gifts that can only be found in your foreign country. leave some surprise packages behind before you go. let your gbig in on these “secret plans” and make her understand that you are not totally deserting the sorority traditions. you will be with your big ‘in spirit’. if she is fully informed on how you feel, and what your plans are, she should stop with all the harassment! be reassuring, sensitive and sincere ~ that should do the trick. and good luck on your adventure! xoxo ;)
Q: I was COMPLETELY CHEATED out of the big/little experience, which was something I was so looking forward to in my sorority life. For clue week I only got two things, but they did seem well crafted. We hung out like twice after reveal but she often ignores me and I ALWAYS text HER first. My basket was minimal and she only gave me one set of letters. We never talk and when i see her around campus and she doesn’t seem excited to see me. now she’s gonna be a rho chi. IDK what to do. I feel cheated.
A: i understand that it’s tough when reality doesn’t live up to expectations but you seem overly focused on what you didn’t GET GET GET! your gifts were not numerous enough, not crafted enough, not fancy enough. your big doesn’t give you enough time, attention, interest or flattery. that’s a lot of gimme - gimme. you were not totally cheated! it sounds like you have an “average” big who has given you gifts, taken the time to craft and has tried to connect with you on some level. but honestly, you seem so concerned with getting things, that it’s probably a huge barrier with your big. she may feel her attempts at generosity are not “good enough” for you!
it’s better to count your blessings than complain about not collecting enough stuff. accepting and appreciating what another person can give is a very honorable trait. the big/little relationship should be more about friendship, than the size of your gift baskets. please take a moment to step outside your feelings of being short-changed, and see that there are more important things to be had from your sorority sister. your judgements are keeping you from having a better relationship!
i believe your big can sense your disappointment and that is hindering your connection. if you want to mend this, please just spend some relaxed, non-judgmental time together. and stop keeping a texting and gifting “score card”.
also remember that a big/little relationship is a two way street. you must do YOUR part to strengthen the sisterly bonds. what have you done lately to spoil your big? how generous are you towards her? how much time and talent have you put into the relationship? try giving more than you receive, with no strings attached, and you may find things quickly change for the better. give it a try! xoxo ;)