1884 posts tagged big little
Q: I live with my “Big Sis.” Since moving in together, our relationship has blown up and disintegrated entirely. She doesn’t talk to me, so I don’t talk to her. I’ve extended the olive branch countless times and now have pretty much dropped her as my Big. We were the strongest Big/Little pairing. Now she doesn’t speak to me and only hangs out with her other Little. It really hurts when I see her post pictures from it. I want to start my own line, but am really attached to our family name. :(
A: i honestly believe that best friends and close big/littles should NOT live together. that was your undoing. i know there are always exceptions, but in general it’s better to keep close friends a little separate from roommates and business transactions. it’s just as tough doing business with good friends or family. some people do it, but there is a high risk for damaging the relationship.
the sister you loved going out with is totally different to live with. she leaves dirty dishes in the sink, she never cleans the shower, she has guys over at all hours, she plays music way to loud, etc… the list never ends for living together irritations. private lifestyles vary widely and sometimes being “too close” can cause relationship strain. total togetherness can be a friendship killer. i have found that a neutral, independent person who you’re friendly with, but not super close, makes the best roommate. then it becomes just about respect, reliability and cleanliness. with the strong emotions taken out of it.
if you can stop living together, your relationship may be repaired. i know one big/little pair who tried living together, got on each other’s nerves, moved out the next semester and are now closer than ever! if you both can forgive and forget the towels on the floor and favorite food eaten without permission ~ then you have a chance to mend your once strong bond. you need space and time.
please don’t make any rash decisions, like starting a new family line, until you gain some perspective. let things calm down and heal before doing anything drastic. i still think there is hope! look into alternative roommates and just let things ride for awhile. when you each have your own space, then start slowly with a few friendly gestures. by being patient and loving, you can hopefully become kind to each other again. let forgiveness guide you and your existing family tree can remain in tact. xoxo ;)