sorority sugar

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Hi! I am a pledge at one of the 26 major sororities at my university and I know this girl in my pledging class. She is the sweetest girl I know and she can't afford a pin. I recently got a some money back from my Costco and American Express cards and I have enough to buy two pins. My parents pay for college and everything. But my sorority won't let me buy her a pin. I asked and they refused Should I do it anyway? She deserves a pin, But I could be kicked out. Should I take the risk anyway?

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That is very sweet of you to want to help your pledge class sister. I worry about her finances though, if she can’t afford the most “basic” no-frills pin, then how will she pay for all the other sorority expenses? Dues cost much more and are reoccurring over 4 years. I think your friend really needs to evaluate her future with the chapter and work out a budget ASAP. 

As for your generous offer to purchase a badge, you could have avoided all this trouble by just gifting the money to your fellow pledge privately and then she buys her own pin. If you had quietly given her the cash, no one would have known and there would have been no conflict. But you cannot directly buy her the pin, period. You should not get in trouble with your sorority and begin your new membership on a sour note. The badge is ultimately each girl’s responsibility. DO NOT jeopardize your own membership over this issue! Please don’t martyr yourself because another girl doesn’t have the resources for a pin. She could babysit, sell something on eBay, sell some clothes to a re-sale shop, borrow the money from family, or do something else to raise the funds needed. 

Since the ‘cat’s out of the bag’ about your intentions, if you now secretly give her the money, the chapter may be suspicious and you will have to trust that she never says anything about it. That is risky, since most secrets have a way of getting out. And it breaks the honor code that I am sure your chapter adheres to. At this point a private transaction is not possible, since you would have to deceive your sisterhood to make it happen. Better that you help your friend brainstorm ways to make some money for her future success in the sorority. The badge is just one of many obstacles for her. Look into every opportunity on campus and see if there isn’t some part time work that your sister can fit into her schedule. Her longterm future in greek life is what’s most important here. xoxo ;)