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As you can guess the sorority sugar ASK is still overflowing! I thank everyone for writing, and I do my best to answer as many questions as possible. I cannot get to them all and some subjects are repeated, but I appreciate everything that PNMs and sisters are going through right now with formal recruitment. I wish everyone the very, very BEST!

Here are some quick Recruitment Q&As that will hopefully be helpful to many PNMs ~

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Q: Right now I am at a community college and I don’t think I will have my AA completed in time to transfer for fall semester like I had planned. Right now it looks like I’ll transfer either the spring or fall of 2016. I’m worried it will be too late for me to rush then. I would be 21 going on 22 that fall. Do you think I will be to old? I’m confidant that I could get a long with people younger than me, but I’m worried I wouldn’t be accepted. 

A: I get "Am I too old to rush?" questions about once a week. Being in your early twenties is NOT too old! Girls even older than that have gone greek. Grad students sometimes pledge. It’s all about your attitude and how well you fit in with the pledge class as a whole. Joining may be more challenging, but transfer students and older PNMs are offered bids every year in fabulous chapters. No worries!

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Q: So I’m pretty unclear about how rush week works. There is a basic schedule: orientation, round robin, sisterhood night, philanthropy night, preference night and bid day. What do all these mean and what do you wear to each?

A: Everything will become clear once you participate in recruitment. First all the PNMs are given an overview of the week at Orientation. Then the PNMs visit ALL of the sorority houses. Following that, the chapters spotlight their sisterhood during the next round. On philanthropy day they will explain everything about their special charity. Pref Night is when the sororities hold serious ceremonies for the PNMs they want as sisters. On bid day, the PNMs open their bid envelopes to find out which chapter invited them to join. The fashions go from casual to very dressy. Please visit the sorority sugar Recruitment Style Guide for a basic outline of what to wear! 

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Q: i’m going to be a freshman at a large university in the fall, but we have deferred recruitment and don’t rush until January. When should I send in, or have the writers send in, the letters of recommendation I have secured over the summer? Some of the chapter’s websites say asap during fall semester, and others don’t specify. Obviously I know they should be turned in before January, but how soon is too soon? I don’t want it to be forgotten about because the chapter is busy and isn’t preparing for recruitment yet in the fall. So when’s the best time to send my rec letters so they won’t be tossed in a pile and forgotten about? 

A: First of all, the rec letters should be mailed or electronically submitted directly from the letter writer to her corresponding chapter on your campus. Once fall semester starts, hopefully your Panhellenic will publish a Recruitment Guide with ALL the information you need. There should be a master list of chapters, with contact names and addresses (or other submission instructions.) The best time for your letters to be mailed/sent is before the winter break. Probably in October or November. That gives time for the letters to be considered, but not too far in advance. The final deadline may be in December. Look for specific instructions to come from your Panhellenic in the late fall. 

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Q: I’m a sophomore nursing major, and people keep telling me that I can’t be in greek life and nursing at the same time. I know I can do both, I’m just not sure how.

A: PNMs with challenging majors, athletes and others with really active schedules find ways to make it work! But it does take some strategic planning and careful time management. There are mandatory requirements in a sorority. So you want to be open and honest when you’re rushing. You need a chapter which is flexible and will accommodate your special schedule. Some PNMs with demanding obligations choose to not go greek. Their sports team, or girls in their major, become their “friend network.” It all depends on how energetic and dedicated you are. And joining an understanding chapter also helps. 

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Q: I am a bigger girl, and I am nervous about what I should wear during recruitment. Most of the time when I wear a dress or a skirt, I always match it with a cardigan. Although, I am trying to find a nice dress with at least quarter sleeves. Do you have some tips for the bigger girls going through recruitment?

A: I say, wear whatever YOU are most comfortable in! What counts is that you feel confident and attractive. If a lightweight cardi over a sleeveless sundress suits you, it will look totally appropriate. Dresses with sleeves are very acceptable too. Not everyone wears tank tops and sundresses with spaghetti straps ~ no matter what their weight. It’s Ok to wear your most flattering styles each round. Pick fashions in lightweight fabrics so you stay cool, even with some sleeves. As long as you go from casual to dressy during the week, you will be looking A+.

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Q: What if I forgot to put that I’m a legacy to a certain sorority on my registration form because I didn’t know at the time, but I had that member of my family send a recommendation letter including the information that I am in fact a legacy? Is that a super bad mistake or will they still accept the information?

A: However the legacy information gets to the sorority is Ok. They should read your family member letter and make note of your legacy. These things happen, but now the chapter should be aware. You can also bring it up in conversation during recruitment. When asked about why you are rushing, you can say "My grandmother was an XYZ sister and she always spoke so highly of her sorority. I am thrilled to be rushing her organization here at ABC University." 

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Q: I’m going to a smaller school, and I was wondering if it was against any rules to be in an NPC sorority and a service sorority? Or do you have to choose between the two?

A: Yes, you can have dual membership in a service or special interest sorority and a NPC chapter. It’s time consuming, but possible. You just can’t be in 2 NPC chapters. Once an initiated NPC sister that’s IT for the council of 26.  

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I've been in my sorority for going on three semesters and I'm not super close to a lot of my sisters... I know it's hard to be super close to them all but I'm only somewhat close to a few. Do you have any tips on how I can be closer to my sisters?

Asked by

Participation at a higher level is the answer!  Just attending meetings and sitting next to sisters is not a very easy way to bond. But jumping in and getting your hands dirty is an excellent way to become closer! I personally have always liked getting to know other girls when there is something to DO together.

For example, you and some other sisters are decorating for recruitment and you have a blast working together. You volunteer to staff the check-in table for the next fundraising 5k and you get to know the other sisters you staff the table with. You pitch in to paint the new lawn letters, staff the go-greek table, distribute bid day tee shirts, etc… etc… There are hundreds of ways to take your membership to the next level and get more friendly with sisters at the same time. That approach has always worked for me! 

The other way to get closer is to be more outgoing and instigate social activities. Invite sisters out for a drink, go to dinner together, attend a frat party together. Put yourself out there in the social scene. But that’s sometimes difficult to do if you don’t know the sisters very well. Bonding over chapter activites FIRST, sets you up for more social interaction later! Also make sure you ATTEND every retreat, philanthropy event, sisterhood social, guest speaker event, alumnae/chapter social, etc… Being actively present gives you maximum exposure to other members who are engaged with chapter life too. You need to BE who you want to meet. 

More tips: take a new little • socialize more with your family line • get involved with some all-greek committees • run for panhellenic office • run for chapter office • do things with the sisters you are close with and step closer to more sisters through them. Networking can happen inside a chapter too. If you try all of the things I have suggested, I guarantee you will will connect with more sisters (and more greeks) than you ever thought possible. Chapters are there for members to get involved and take advantage of the social opportunities. Take steps this fall to DO MORE and reap the rewards!! xoxo ;)

Hi, for the "additional information" section in Panhellenic registration, do you recommend putting something there or does it not make a difference? If yes, what do you recommend putting if you've already shared your activities, etc.?

Asked by

The additional information section is a good spot for spotlighting unique things about yourself that don’t neatly fit into the other categories. You can share experiences, talents, adventures, hobbies and other information outside your school and community facts. It’s also a place to put any special needs or limitations that you have, like dealing with a chronic illness/medication during rush, or the fact that you are in a wheel chair. 

If you don’t have any additional things to share, don’t worry about it. It’s just extra space on the form for those who need it. But if you took a trip abroad, have an unusual family experience, collect something really quirky, your uncle is the state governor, or other “unusual” things ~ go ahead and share! Facts that define you and make you stand out in the crowd are very helpful. 

You might say something like this….. "Final facts about me ~ I once spent a summer in Scotland researching my family genealogy, I’m a triplet, I collect vintage salt & pepper shakers, I’m fluent in German and both of my grandmothers lived to be 100." Those are things that might not have fit into other sections on your registration, but are still interesting details about who you are as a person. xoxo ;)

What are some appropriate answers when asked why do you want to go Greek/join this chapter when rushing? Also what kinds of things should you say when asked to tell them about yourself--what should that include?

Asked by

"Honesty with a positive spin" is the best way to go! Meaning you should stick to the truth and be authentic ~ yet you don’t need to drag up every difficulty in your past for the sake of total honesty. There is such a thing as PNM TMI. When asked about why you are rushing you don’t need to go on and on about your first failed attempt, your family’s financial problems, your crazy aunt who bribed you to rush, your doubts and fears, etc… etc….! Instead, you can say, "I’ve heard so many fabulous things about greek life at XYZ University and I can’t wait to find my new sorority home. Everyone is so friendly. I am really excited to be here!"

The same holds true for sharing personal information. Avoid telling sororities about the time you missed the winning goal, the school club you dropped out of and the year you struggled in chemistry class. Instead share how proud you felt when your team won the championship, the time you were club president and how you enjoyed French class so much, you plan to live in Paris one day. You can be selective about your own personal details. Just like college admissions and job interviews ~ accentuate the positive. 

I recommend reviewing and practicing your own personal “story.” Be ready with your own background of accomplishments, so you don’t stammer and go blank. Think about what you like and don’t like. Sisters will hopefully ask you more pointed questions, instead of just “Tell me everything about yourself.” If you prepare ahead of time, you will shine!

❀ These are some things to decide on before your recruitment conversations:

  • Your opinion on sororities and going greek.
  • How you feel to be going through rush. 
  • Your top 3-5 accomplishments in high school.
  • Your proudest moments.
  • Your role models.
  • What makes you warm and friendly.
  • How you want to make the sisters feel.
  • Details of your volunteering and leadership with specifics, such as "I raised $2,000 for Save Our Beaches and I was Historian of the Girls League."  Instead of, "I like to volunteer and keep busy." 
  • How you are going to handle questions. Ask your mom or sister to role play some Q&As with you. Have them ask you standard questions and practice turning them into interesting shares about yourself. For example, if you are asked "What’s your favorite color?" Work your answer into one of your personal passions. Your reply could be, "I love the color pink and happily I have been involved with the Pink Ribbon cancer campaign for three years, which means so much to me.”
  • A few endearing funny stories about yourself. Rush conversations should be light and humorous too. 
  • Your major and course of study.
  • Your future goals. 
  • Practice conversing in complete sentences. A lost art these days.
  • Ways to reflect who you really are. 

❀ For examples of PNM and sister questions for recruitment, please visit the Frequently Asked Questions page! xoxo ;)

Hi SS! I recently went through recruitment at Alabama as a sophomore. Sadly, I did not have a connection with any of the houses I attended on pref night and decided to drop. Should I try again this spring? I really want to be in a sorority, but I'm not sure I can take another disappointment. My greek friends all really want me to try again, but I am not convinced.

Asked by

I am so sorry you did not find a connection on Pref Night. And I’m sorry you decided to drop out. Many chapters take time to grow on you. It takes time to meet all the sisters in a large chapter and get the full picture of their sisterhood. But now that rush is over, where do you go from here?

I think it’s too soon to make a decision for next spring. Give your emotions time to calm down. Recruitment is very stressful, and you need time to relax and reflect. How you feel about going greek may be different in 5 months. Coming off a disappointing event is not the best time to commit to going through rush again. I’m sure it sounds absolutely awful right now! 

You may make lots of non-greek friends this fall semester, and you won’t ever have a desire to join a sorority. Or, you may develop a renewed interest in sororities and give rush another try. Let your experiences in the next few months determine what you do next.

If you do rush again, please give the chapters who WANT you to pledge, more of chance! There are many terrific sisterhoods at UA, so you almost can’t go wrong with any of them. Open your heart and your mind to the possibilities. I hope spring recruitment works out and you can find a greek home away from home in 2015! xoxo :)

✿ best ways to overcome sorority embarrassment! ✿

Q: So last year I was a snap bid for the sorority I wanted to be in the most. For some reason I feel kind of embarrassed and angry because I know three girls who didn’t want me apart of their chapter & they were the only ones preventing me to get in. They made up rumors about how desperate I was to get into the sorority. Any advice on how I get over the embarrassment and anger?

A: There is NO reason to be embarrassed about taking a snap bid! Thank god things worked out for you following bid day. And to join your favorite chapter on top of it all. I’m sorry a few nasty sisters are ruining things for you. Once a girl is “in” there is no reason to trash a fellow member over how she joined the chapter. It just doesn’t matter.

In one sense they are right ~ you were eager to get into the most fabulous sorority on campus! What’s wrong with that? It’s also the chapter THEY decided to choose as their #1. When you break it down, their gossip is ridiculous. All of your sisters were excited and dying to pledge your chapter at one time or another.

To recover from this incident, keep these things in mind… Three sisters do not represent the entire chapter in any way. In every sorority, there will be members you don’t get along with. Not all PNMs are accepted with 100% agreement. There are always debates and opposing opinions on some members. You will see this in action when you’re on the other side of formal recruitment this year. Some new members are “controversial” coming into the chapter for different reasons. But hopefully time heals all wounds. 

✿ Top 9 Tips for Overcoming Sorority Embarrassments: ✿

  • Keep the event in the PAST. All embarrassments are from something that happened “before.” If you can put the incident there and shut the door, you will feel better. Live in the present and give no credence to the past. By staying in the moment, you will stop being tortured over what happened a year ago.
  • Agree & laugh about the incident. If you hear any gossip about how you joined, laugh and say "You’re so right. I was dying to get into the very best sorority on campus and be sisters with all of you!" If you can have a sense of humor about your embarrassment, it will cease to be mortifying. Laugh at yourself. Laugh at your silly sisters. Humor and agreement makes the entire controversy go away. 
  • Stop apologizing. There is nothing to be sorry for. Don’t feel like you have to defend yourself. You did nothing wrong. A majority of sisters wanted you to join and they voted you IN. Done deal. Sorry some sisters don’t like it, but that’s their problem. No more feeling bad over doing the right thing and accepting a snap bid. What were you suppose to do, turn it down? 
  • Be bold - be you. Get over what happened a year ago and start putting yourself “out there” in your chapter. Take action to contradict the old story. Run for office, take a chair position, get involved in the Panhellenic, join some campus clubs, etc… Start being so productive, the past fades away. Prove how valuable you are to your sorority. Step up and show everyone you’re an asset to your sisterhood. Stamp out the ugliness with positive actions to the contrary. 
  • Put things into perspective. In order to reduce your stressful feelings about this specific incident, think about other embarrassing moments you’ve had. Write a list of your other painful/awkward experiences. Like the time you were the only one to show up in a Halloween costume. Or, the time your high school boyfriend dumped you in front of everyone at a pep rally. Once you realize that unpleasant things happen in life, it will put this one issue into its proper place in the grand scale of things. 
  • Give up on perfectionism. One reason you feel bad is that you didn’t join in the picture perfect way the other girls did in your pledge class. The criticisms hit a nerve, because you feel self conscious about being a snap bid new member. Forgive yourself! Maybe you didn’t make the first draft, but you still joined the team. Not every life event goes as planned in storybook fashion. Forget living up to some idealistic version of sorority life and start enjoying reality. 
  • Stop being afraid. Embarrassment is basically fear of being thought of poorly by others. You are afraid of being “lesser than.” Face your fears, accept that you can’t undo the past and move forward with strength. You have the power to control your emotions. You can stamp out your anxiety. Grab control of your own thoughts and don’t let others define you. Be proud of your membership and don’t let anyone take that away from you. 
  • Talk it out. Talk about your feelings with a trusted sister and get it off your chest. This can help you come to terms with how you started your greek life. If possible, extend an olive branch to the three sisters who are gossiping about you and clear the air. Reach out to them with love and forgiveness. If you kill them with kindness, and reach a truce, the anger will cease on all sides. 
  • Find inspiration. Look for other sisters/new members who are struggling and help them with their problems. If you look beyond the mirror, and focus on other people’s challenges, it will reduce your own worries. Giving is the best medicine. There are probably sisters in your chapter who have much more serious issues. Be the shoulder to cry on and the helper in times of need. All of sudden your reputation is restored and your anger has disappeared. Living your creed is ultimate answer to moving on! 

These tips are helpful for all kinds of recruitment and chapter embarrassments. Personal blunders and set backs happen to everyone. Don’t let the residual emotions from an unhappy event taint your sorority life. Regrets, doubts and mistakes are part of reality. The key is to not let them rule the day. Work through your issues, so you can get back to having the glorious greek life you always wanted! xoxo ;)

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As a PNM is it okay if we ask sisters of the chapter questions? :) Or would that come off as us being nosy or something like that!?

Asked by

You should ask questions and be interested in what each chapter is all about. Some topics are off limits, such as fraternities, parties, drugs, drinking, sex and other inappropriate subjects. I also suggest staying away from religious and political hot button issues like abortion, racial unrest, and middle eastern terrorism. It’s also impolite to discuss how much money your family makes. Recruitment is not the place for deep discussions about the meaning of life, or for debating controversial issues in the news.

But PNMs are encouraged to ask questions about the operation of the sorority, sisterhood events, greek life in general, the big/little program, the chapter’s philanthropy and more… You should come to rush with some questions in mind. Other inquiries will develop as you go. The chapters will share a lot about themselves and this will prompt some more questions on your part.

You are making a lifetime commitment to an organization, it’s not nosy to confirm what you’re getting into. You should appear to be an interested PNM, and not just passively sit there, In addition to your own questions, here are some more to choose from:

• Top PNM Questions to Ask During Recruitment 

• PNM Recruitment Questions to Ask By Category

• 20 “Safe” PNM Questions to Ask During Recruitment

xoxo ;)

(Ref. previous ask) "First of all your odds on not getting a bid are almost zero" How is that so??? There's a ton of gals that rush but only so many spaces!

Asked by

It is a mystery of greek life! But somehow MOST/Almost All PNMs who stick it out to Preference Night receive bids. At some schools a bid is even guaranteed by the Panhellenic if you make it to the Pref round. They tell the PNMs they WILL receive a bid from 1 of their 3 final choices. It may not be the PNMs 1st or even 2nd choice, but hopefully #3 is fabulous too.

The number of PNMs basically fit the number of chapters and membership openings. For example, a big southern school will have 2,000 PNMs going through rush, but they also have 18 chapters will large pledge classes. A small private school in New England may have only 3 sororities on campus and 20 girls in each new member class, but they do not have 2,000 rushees! It’s basically proportionate.

When a college starts having placement problems and demand outstrips supply, that’s when more chapters are allowed to colonize. If there are new colonies on campus, that means it’s been determined that interested PNMs need more places to pledge. It’s a sign of a vibrant and growing greek community. Today, more girls are interested in joining a sorority than ever before, which is excellent news for all the national organizations who want to expand their numbers. 

Another reason that most everyone matches for bid day, is many PNMs leave before the very end. If they have been cut by their favorite houses, they have second thoughts about the financial obligations, they discover greek life if not for them, they have an attack of nerves ~ whatever the reason, girls usually drop before Preference. I advise against this, since you never know what will develop as the week progresses. Pref Night has changed many PNM’s hearts. Even after bid day love can grow.

But it’s normal  and expected that a certain percentage of PNMs will drop out during rush week. It’s unfortunate, but it does help the remaining PNMs find sorority homes. In the end, the magic of recruitment takes place and PNMs are blissfully matched with sorority chapters. This happens every bid day, year after year. It’s amazing how that works! xoxo ;)

Hi! I just signed up for recruitment at the University of Rhode Island this fall and have been doing some online research and your blog made me feel so excited for greek but as soon as i looked anywhere else i got super nervous, with every website saying that it's a contest to do with how attractive the pledges are. I'm confident with how i look but i'm not 100% preppy and have thick brown curly hair, and am not sure if i look like a traditional sorority girl. Will I fit in?? thank you xxxx

Asked by

My favorite saying when it comes to sorority recruitment is: "There is a place for everyone!" Thank goodness not all chapters are alike. How boring that would be. And impossible to recruit if every sorority was a carbon copy of each other. There are hundreds, if not thousands of other girls just like you waiting to rush at URI who are also not 6’ tall, blonde and models for Victoria’s Secret on the weekends. MOST PNMs look like “average” girls. If you browse my blog, you will see sisters and new members from all over the country. A very high percentage of them are in the normal range of attractiveness.

Yes there are some individuals and some colleges that seem to have an above average amount of gorgeous greek girls. USC, UF and ASU come to mind. But even on those super beautiful campuses, there are plenty of pretty girls with brown curly hair! Everyone will be looking their best during recruitment, but keep in mind, they don’t look like that every day. Rush is a time to wear a little make-up, style your hair and wear fashionable clothing. Stay true to your personality, but step it up a notch. Rush IS a competition at its very core. 

I am certain you will fit in with several chapters at URI. Not every sorority will be a match, but I’m sure there will be many sisters who you hit it off with. Maybe you’re not the preppiest, but you can look classy and stylish. Be the BEST that you can be, let your personality shine and fill the room with your winning smile. Sororities don’t pledge designer labels, straight hair, or expensive shoes ~ they pledge PNMs who they fall in love with and can’t wait to spend more time together. If a girl has all the “right stuff” she will be a desirable PNM to many chapters. A boring, flat, unexcited PNM will not ~ despite her wardrobe or facial beauty. It’s all about an ideal MIX of inner and outer attractiveness that makes for a successful recruitment. Keep your confidence high and do your BEST! xoxo ;)

"Ability is what you’re capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it." ~ Lou Holtz

sorority Q&A: being behind the scenes during rush…

Q: This is my first year on my sorority’s side of recruitment and I was asked to be in charge leading the PNM discussion and the voting process, b/c I’m already really familiar with the process. The Recruitment Chair seemed really passionate about assigning it to me, but it means I won’t be the room at all for the 3 days of our recruitment and I won’t get to meet any of the new girls one-on-one. I. How can I still feel involved in recruitment when I’m behind the scenes?

A: You have the same issue that the Rho Gammas/Gamma Chis have. They are not part of the actual recruitment conversations at their house. Floaters also don’t always have much one-on-one time with the PNMs. The Recruitment chair herself and other officers may be really busy with operational activities. It takes a lot of teamwork to stage formal recruitment and everyone has to play their part. You will have several more formal recruitments ahead of you, so this will not always be your job. Just this one time. And you should be flattered that you were so passionately asked to do it. I am impressed! 

Here are some other things to keep in mind:

  • You WILL be meeting many (if not all) PNMs through your education sessions! And they all will know who you are. 
  • Value your position and know that it’s important to the rush process in your chapter. You are doing a good thing. 
  • Consider what you can “give” to your sorority instead of what you can “get” out of rush. 
  • In any sorority event, fundraiser, formal, or retreat ~ the “important” people are making it happen behind the scenes. If you enjoy leadership and want to stand out in your chapter, this is the crowd you want to be with. I personally always love being in a chair position, or an officer, in any group. There is something exciting about "putting on the show" that I love.
  • Enjoy being an authority. The PNMs will look up to you and admire your expertise. Revel in the fact that you know so much about the process and you can share your smarts with others. 
  • Maybe you can still clap and sing and be a part of the general hellos and goodbyes for each round. That would help you feel more involved and a part of recruitment overall.  
  • As long as you are in a ‘different’ position, see if you can help in other ways behind the scenes ~ such as setting up the buffet table, decorating with balloons, hanging banners, etc… Every chapter needs more helping hands. Make the most of your availability. 
  • Make sure to work the room on bid day and welcome the new members you recognize from your discussion groups. They will remember you. Put some extra effort into getting to know the new girls from that day forward. You can make up for lost time quickly!

xoxo ;) 

I really want to join a sorority this coming year. I wish I would have last year but I decided not to. I'm nervous I'm not good enough to be in a sorority or the girls won't like me during recruitment. I have a big lack in self confidence and it makes me question if I will belong with gorgeous sorority girls. Do you have any advice on how I positively go into recruitment?

Asked by

There is only one way to overcome your fears and that is to FACE them head on! You won’t gain self-confidence by sitting in your room. The only way to grow as a person is to put yourself out there and try your hardest. Doing what you’re scared of is the best way to work through your self-esteem issues. Everyone is nervous! Even the most beautiful girls are stressed and have butterflies in their stomach. Any competition is nerve wracking. That doesn’t stop PNMs from participating. 

Some of your fears will come true ~ several sororities won’t click and you will be cut. That happens to every PNM. Even the most secure girls are not a match for all chapters on campus. So the narrowing process effects everyone equally. It’s more about matchmaking than winning a contest. You are selecting your favorite sororities, at the same time they are assessing your qualifications for membership. Both sides are looking for mutual love!

You will need more confidence as you complete your college education, apply for internships, start your career and search for employment. Why not let recruitment be the first step in your journey to becoming more self assured? Joining a sorority builds inner strength, develops your personality, helps you blossom and much more. Push through your nervousness and reach for your goals! xoxo :)

"I don’t believe you have to be better than everybody else. I believe you have to be better than you ever thought you could be." ~ Ken Venturi 

"I am still far from being what I want to be, but with God’s help I shall succeed." ~ Vincent Van Gogh

i'm meeting my rho gamma sometime this week and i'm super nervous! we are meeting in the evening so we may meet at a local restaurant or something (i'm in a cute little college town). what do i wear, and what are some good topics/questions to discuss?

Asked by

Technically your Rho Gamma is NOT evaluating your for membership, but you still want to look well-groomed and presentable. So wear something nice-casual. When you are in the recruitment-zone you want to look attractive wherever you go. You never know who will see you out and about. There are eyes everywhere. 

There is no reason for you to be nervous meeting your Rho Gamma! She is your guide, your counselor and your biggest cheerleader in going greek. There may be a group of PNMs at your dinner meeting and you can discuss the procedures of rush week. She will probably pass out information and have some instructions to share. If you have any specific questions about how rounds work, when you get a break, what to wear, or other details on ‘how it happens’ on your campus ~ she’s the one to ask.

She will not tell you inside secrets about each house, gossip about chapter rankings, or chat about frat drinking parties. Your recruitment counselor is there to help you through rush week in an unbiased way. Think of her as a help-mate and advisor ~ not a spy or recruiter. She’s on your side. Her goal is to assist you in finding YOUR ideal chapter match. Make the most of all the assistance she can give. xoxo :)

Would you know why schools ask for recommendation letters prior to recruitment? Cause I thought their profile with information would be more self explanatory. My school doesn't ask for them, that's why it's so unfamiliar for me to see. Because when I'm on message boards, so many people ask for them from basically all the sororities they are rushing for!

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It’s a tradition at many schools, but personally I think the pressure of rec letters sometimes gets out of hand! Especially when PNMs have to track down strangers to write them. Personal letters from greek family friends, teachers, coaches and others are valuable, but when there are 18 chapters on campus, it does get quite stressful for PNMs to meet their letter requirements.

The basic premise is that there is a initiated member who refers a PNM for membership and vouches for her character. The member is saying she has evaluated the PNM’s qualifications and determined that she matches the values of the sisterhood. If a PNM has been “pre-screened” and approved ~ it assures the local chapter than she meets the characteristics they are looking for. Having PNMs Ok’d before rush starts is helpful to many chapters. Someone other than the PNM is vouching for her reputation and experiences. It’s another way to verify the backgrounds of PNMs, especially in a large and very competitive panhellenic. Since most PNMs are total strangers to the chapters, member recommendations confirm that the profiles are accurate. 

Rec letters may have become more of a ‘requirement’ than anything else, but even so, they serve a purpose at some universities. How much the sororities use them, is up to the private practices of each chapter. PNMs need to view them as a necessary part of rush and the first test of how well they can complete requirements. The first challenge of many! xoxo :)

As a minority woman and hopeful pledge, I find that I'm discouraged to even try in light of all the news coverage and media hype about minorities being rejected during the first rounds of rush week simply because of their nationality. Any advice?

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Don’t believe everything you read or hear in the media. They have an agenda and a real bias when it comes to greek life! Personally, I am not aware of the news stories you are referring to. I did read that this year the University of Alabama pledged a record number of black women to NPC sororities and an outstanding amount of other ethnic groups too. Minorities of every background pledge sororities all the time ~ in every part of the country. 

There are other options for minorities as well. Multicultural sororities are on the rise for PNMs who want more of an emphasis on their ethic identity. A multicultural chapter might be just what you are looking for! There are sororities for specific groups such as Asian or Hispanic, and there are chapters which spotlight broad diversity as their mission statement. There are also terrific Service and Christian sororites which attract minority PNMs. If you are an African-American, the traditionally black sororities provide a historically rich and rewarding greek experience. There are so many ways to go greek!!

Between ALL the NPC chapters, multicultural sororities, service chapters, Christian groups and black sororities ~ you are SURE to find a greek home. There is no reason to get discouraged at all. The “flavors” of greek life are unique, numerous and created to match all different kinds of PNMs. There is a place for everyone. Every sisterhood is looking for matches, so all you have to worry about is clicking with a chapter in terms of personality, achievement, leadership, lifestyle and personality.

LOTS & LOTS of PNMs are cut during the early rounds of recruitment for zillions of reasons. Skin tone is not what sororities are thinking about. They cut many more Caucasian PNMs than any other group. Everyone is evaluated on their suitability for membership, compatibility, GPA and fitting in with the entire sisterhood. If they love you as a PNM, you will be asked back no matter what your ethnic identity. So shine bright and look for a sorority where YOU feel the most at home. Membership is about feeling welcomed and appreciated for all of your finest qualities. xoxo ;)

Hi! I may be transferring to a university in the spring (I go to a community college now) & I want to rush! But I was told my top choice doesn't do spring rush. Should I wait till next fall? I'm just so anxious and I really want to rush ASAP! But I don't want to do spring recruitment & think "what if" for not waiting till fall. I want to give each chapter a chance but I don't want to wait. Thanks so much!

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Your situation is a common dilemma for transfer students! Should you rush some of the chapters, or wait until they all participate? Because you are an older PNM, and you may end up loving a chapter that is recruiting in the spring, I vote for trying spring recruitment. It’s very possible that you will make a wonderful match. If you don’t click with any of the sororities, you don’t have to pledge. Drop before bid day, you will be free to rush again in the fall. But if you DO find a fabulous chapter, you can get started on your greek life. If I were you I would give spring recruitment a try and see what happens.

From the outside, it’s difficult to choose a favorite sorority. If you wait until fall, that still doesn’t mean you will receive a bid from your current top pick. There are no guarantees either way, so why not try in the spring? I say ~ seize the day and see what happens! xoxo ;)

"When nothing is sure, everything is possible." ~ Margaret Drabble