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I'm really scared about meeting my big. I'm scared she won't like me, which is silly I know. but I see so much big/little loving that I feel like it just won't happen! help?

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I am sure you will be paired with a big who loves and wants you for a little. It’s very unlikely that you will be matched with a reluctant big sister who doesn’t care about you! The odds of that happening are slim to none. The more likely scenario is that you have seen so much big/little loving online, that your standards will be sky high! 

I strongly advise you to keep your expectations in control. Extreme expectations for a magical over-the-moon big/little relationship is difficult for any mere moral big to live up to. If you are anticipating 500 splashy gifts and crafts, and all you get is a cupcake and a picture frame you are setting yourself up for disappointment in a major way. Please enjoy all the big/little sugar on my blog, but when the time comes for your “real life” friendship give your new big a chance.

A kind, sweet sister is all you need for a meaningful big/little experience. And that’s what you should be in return. Don’t measure your big’s worth by the number of gifts she gives or how much money she spends. If you bond with a high quality sister, who you enjoy and who has your back, it means more than 20 tee shirts. When you join a sorority, BE the best new member you can, and you will attract a superior big. Every relationship takes two. So be likable, loyal, decent and giving. You should get the same in return! xoxo :)

"Getters don’t get—givers get." ~ Eugene Benge

sorority Q&A: struggling to stay a sister…

Q: I’ve had a lot of small problems in my NPC sorority lately and I just am not feeling the sisterly love anymore. I’ve seriously considered disaffiliating, but I’m not sure about the consequences, or even the process. Any advice or help would be much appreciated! Thank you.

A: DON’T DO IT!  You will regret it later almost 100% guaranteed. The “loving feelings” ebb and flow over the years. Membership is a marathon, not a sprint. Just like in a romantic relationship, you are not going to hear birds singing every day. There are dull periods, bright periods, sad periods and everything in between. You don’t throw in the towel because the glow has dimmed. Small problems are not worth the pain of permanent disaffiliation and loosing your bonds forever.

The consequences in most chapters are permanent and irreversible. No more college greek life, no alumnae benefits, no legacy status for your daughter one day, etc… It goes way beyond your immediate issues. You must take the long view on this. Your decision today will effect the rest of your life as a former greek. 

I strongly advise that you find another outlet for your talents and put some healthy distance between you and the sisters who are irritating you. There are ways to step back without leaving the chapter completely. Join some other clubs, study abroad, make new friends outside your sorority, get involved with the Panhellenic Council, take an interesting internship, work a part time job ~ anything to gain a fresh outlook and a new perspective. Sometimes sisters get stuck in a rut and you just need a kick start in a new direction. You can maintain your status, and save all that you have invested, while you explore NEW experiences on campus.

Also consider taking a new little this fall, to give yourself a renewed sense of spirit. Every recruitment is a new dawn and an opportunity to rekindle your chapter pride. Seek out sisterly friendships with the “nice” girls and push your troubles aside. When you look back one day, you won’t regret staying in your sorority, but you will regret it if you leave. I know you can find away to make it work! xoxo <3 ;)

"Commitment unlocks the doors of imagination, allows vision, and gives us the "right stuff" to turn our dreams into reality." ~ James Womack

This is in response to letyourlovepour about rushing: I rushed as a sophomore on my campus. I knew there was a new colony starting up that my cousin was in, so I was sure that I would go for that sorority. Even with that knowledge I still went through formal recruitment to give the other chapters a chance since I did not know much about them. I ended up pledging to a different sorority than the one that my cousin was in. Don't be afraid of formal recruitment, it helped me find the perfect match.

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THANK YOU for sharing your new colony/regular recruitment experience!!  Very helpful. You never know where you will end up when you start your greek life journey!! xoxo ;)

looking for unique lavalieres!

Q: First of all, I LOVE your blog and Pinterest boards because I’m addicted! My family line has always given lavalieres for Christmas gift after your initiation gift from big to little. My little is super unique, and I love her to bits. Any good ideas on where to find unique lavalieres? Thanks a bunch!

A: I am a huge fan of lavalieres for their classic traditional look. They are soooo sorority! And what a nice tradition you have for big/little gifting. I have several favorite places for you to shop for unique lavalieres! 

• NAVA NY: beautiful lavalieres in a variety of looks: 

THE COLLEGIATE STANDARD: charming lavalieres with CZ “diamonds”  Swarovski crystals and different styles: 

A•LIST GREEK: gorgeous sorority jewelry from one of my Sweet Elite Sponsors that’s not your typical lavalier, but the designs might be the something different you are looking for: 

I highly recommend all of these amazing sorority jewelry companies! XOXOXOXOXO!!